The Diary of a Nobody/June 25

Yes, it is Read Free Sunday at The Diary.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, June 25
Recall last week there were a couple of nites where groups in the lobby immediately shut things down when yours truly walked thru the doors, lending credence to the theory that ol’ Sparrow exudes a “party’s over” aura.

Well, there are more baseball teams in town and there was a nice contingent in the lobby when yours truly reported for duty, but this time it was plain they had been shutting matters down for a while because adults were saying goodnite and were in the finishing stages of getting their rug rats rounded up…It was as if they knew “Party’s Over” Sparrow was about to arrive and maybe Amy told them they’d better start calling it a nite. 

The big news is only a few months after the first $300 rates started showing up, the first $400 rates have sprouted…Heck, there were even a couple of $450 rates tonite, tho due to the baseball teams getting a discounted rate, plus some working men in at their usual rates, revenue was on 25K or so and the average daily rate (revenue/rooms rented) was only 250.

It was a pretty busy first hour…There were sundry stand purchases, some phone calls, and then the toner at the front desk printer needed replacing…Fortunately, it wasn’t that hard: you open the panel and pull the cartridge out and then replace it with the fresh cartridge that took you five minutes to find. 

In other Office Supply News, yours truly lubed the shredder blades…There are instructions, somewhere, to do this every hundred sheets or so, and we’ve gotten into the habit of doing it every nite because some field testing we did showed no one else was doing it…The deal was I kept putting the bottle of lube in the same place on the back office desk and it’s never been moved, so evidently, it’s a good thing we’ve been doing it every nite.  

There was a funny incident with a guest tonite…She showed up around midnite and check-in was proceeding apace when I asked if she had a dog with her…She did, so we get out the form for her to fill out and add the pet fee to her account…Then she wonders if there’s a weight limit for pets. 

Uh, no…Not that I know of.
– Good.
The classic Sparrow pause; then a glance at the woman.
Why???…How big’s your dog???
This got the laff it deserved and might well end up a Line of the Year candidate.
70 pounds. Don’t worry, it’s not foaming at the mouth or currently biting anyone, tho. 

39.723 MPG. 

This is actually from yesterday and, while a fine figure in its own right, is down a couple of MPG from last week and it could be time to add some more gas treatment. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0900 Saturday until 2030 Saturday…11.5 hours for the day and 54 hours for the week, not a PB, but not too far from one, either.

Today was a complete triumph in the sack…After unsatisfactory, usually split, Saturday sleep sessions the past few weeks we finally got the equalizer we’ve needed for a while a and the big news is we only got up once to use the can, around 1330. 

Key was we moved Fast Food Saturday to Wednesday…(It was field-tested last Wednesday – to make sure all logistics, processes, and modalities were in place with the restaurant – with success)…We’ve pretty much otherwise given up bread and – along with giving up coffee, have been sleeping better and we strongly suspected the max loadout of lousy nutrition was, after many years, starting to cause problems, and, apparently it was…Dreams were as vivid and pleasant as they are unremembered. 

———

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

 It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!

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