The Diary of a Nobody/May 28

It’s Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, May 28
Assistant Front Desk Q was there when yours truly reported for duty…He said Amy, who’s usually there on Friday nites, had come down with a gall bladder problem and had called off…Now, AGM Candace had stayed until 1730, but Q was alone after that and was busy…He said there were lots of whining guests, too, distraught over the carpet and wallpaper overhaul going on, too. 

Ring the bell dammit!!!…It could save you some money. 

About midnight this oaf slinkers in and, rather lamely, says “hey” despite the bell, and the placard with corresponding instructions, that had been placed on the counter by yours truly…He catches a break, tho, when yours truly needs something at the front desk and there’s this short, lame-o milquetoast standing out there needing a room. 

Well, yay and boo…Yay because despite not ringing the bell he’s in luck…We’re not close to being sold out and have a variety of room types available…Boo because it’s Friday nite on a holiday weekend: bend over; here it comes: $250, plus tax…He doesn’t visibly recoil, but it’s plain he’s cheap and is about $249 more than he wants to pay. 

Is there any flexibility? 

Uh, yeah, I’ve got more flexibility than Gumby here; I could give you the room for ten bucks…Heck, if you had rung the bell and been a hot babe the rate would’ve been $159, plus tax, and if you’d’ve been halfway likable $199, plus tax…But you didn’t ring the bell and you’re cheap, besides…Blow me:  

I’m sorry, sir; no there isn’t. 

It turns out Front Desk Manager Brandon worked the nite audit the two nites I was off…Recall GM Andy came down with COVID (tho that apparently has passed and he’s back at work without a mask) and his brother Chris – my usual weekend relief – came down sickies, too…You could tell, too, because the shredder bin was jammed about as tight as it could get with shredded paperwork that needed to be tossed…We’re not really complaining about that, tho…Brandon has bigger things to worry about.  

Ol’ Sparrow pulled the trigger on a portable cooler for the cabin this morning…Longtime readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall that in the past there’s generally only been a couple of weeks during the summer where temperatures have been truly uncomfortable for a day sleeper and those tended to pass quickly enuff, but the past couple of summers it’s been hotter than usual and it seemed last summer was miserable the whole way. 

Now, we’ve learned that you tend to get what you pay for, but we went with the least expensive model this time because it said it was “perfect” for cooling small areas like a play area or a bed…Well, cooling my bed was exactly what we were looking for; we’re not looking to cool the entire cabin or even the whole bedroom: cooling ol’ Sparrow’s sacred sleeping domain will suffice…Free shipping, too, and it should be here Friday…This is a good time because it is still cool enuff during the days to still sleep comfortably. 

Those fly strips, with honey used as bait, aren’t really killing flies like we thought they would…There is still only the one on the glue strip in the living room, while the remaining two or three flies continue to mock me. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log:
0830 Saturday until 1100 Saturday
1630 Saturday until 2130 Saturday

7.5 hours for the day and – get this – a paltry 43.5 hours for the week, the lowest weekly total in almost a year. 

We don’t know what the deal is, either…This is not the first split sleep session (SSS) we’ve had since ditching caffeine a couple of weeks ago and regular readers of this crap know the weekly totals have been going down harder than a whore with the fleet in since the PB 57.5-hour sleep week that started the month off…The weekly average of 48.37 hours for the month is solid, of course, but the past couple of weeks have been distressing. 

———

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

 It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

Coming soon! Gaylon’s books in actual book form!

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