The Diary of a Nobody/May 20

Yay for Read Free Sunday at The Diary.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, May 20
When we reported for duty at the hotel Gina advised that AGM Brandon wanted me to know that Hotel B (next door) didn’t have a nite auditor tonite and that the usual note with our number had been left at Hotel B’s front desk…We asked if there were instructions regarding exactly what in the hell we were supposed to do if there was a problem and Gina said no, that was all AGM Brandon had said.

It wasn’t the usual Sparrow Smart-Ass Query (SSAQ) tho; it’s a legitimate question because of there someone needs a key or wants to check in or has an overflowing toilet, there is literally nothing we can do…We do not have credentials for their system nor keys for anything…And this is not my problem, either, frankly, and if there are problems, Brandon better be prepared for a phone call. 

And, as it was, 201 from Hotel B called around 0600 to announce he was checking out…Now, in fairness to him, he probably thought there was something I could do, and when he realized ol’ Sparrow was about as useful at tits on a bull here, he accepted my offer of an emailed receipt and rang off. 

Almost interesting was the poster on a window at the restaurant entrance…It announced that Jim W would be putting on a show there next Saturday nite and that it was part of his “2023 Totally Awesome Tour”…It made it sound like Jim W was an international star – and he may be, we don’t really keep tabs on the matter – which is funny because Jim W lives in town and was, in fact, the realtor who represented The Ex and I when we bought The Shire nine years ago…Which begged the question where else would the 2023 Totally Awesome Tour take him???…Nero’s downtown???…The OR (so named because the first hospital in town was housed there)…Maybe some shows when the rodeo starts up again???…And why not a gig in the small town???…We’ve seen Jim before and he plays from the heart – just like those at Preservation Hall did – and puts on a pretty good show…Mostly covers, but he throws in an original song or two, too. 

We missed the Friday Nap (FN) for a date with The Widow B, so when we hit the hay this morning we had been up for 31 straight hours, a figure regular readers of this crap know is far from our PB off 44, done twice…We were suitably tired because in that 31-hour stretch we’d been to two gyms, put in eight hours at two jobs, went to the doctor, and went on a date…We’d earned our rest.

Consequently, there was lite strength in the gym this afternoon, but we expected that even with a good rest (see Sleep Log below)…We’ve learned over the years that you do not recover from an extended period up after only one sleep session and there is no reason to push a +1 workout – or even a strong one – and weights were such that we could’ve gotten twelve or so in on the last set, when failure at ten reps is the standard…We did some cardio, too, keeping that lite as well, doing a mile in a leisurely 18 minutes and 36 seconds. 

We are still waiting for the latest crop of robins to hatch…Mommy remains resolutely perched on top of her eggs, but they should be due anytime, tho we’re hardly Dr Doolittle and could well be wrong…Of course, we are still respecting this miracle of life and will continue to use the front door (recall the nest – built on top of the nest from a couple of years ago – is next to the kitchen door) until they are gone because they’ll dive bomb you at need and you only need to be dive-bombed once by the Robin Air Corps (RAC) to not want an encore. 

In other news from The Shire, the lawn continues to grow like a weed, especially the dandelions, which we leave alone on the theory that if you have dandelions, that area of your lawn needs the good they do…The rhubarb in the back garden is already huge, too…Recall it grows every year and we never use any of it, preferring to allow it to return to Mother Earth and you don’t have to be Mr Garden to strongly suspect this might be the reason why…We don’t know, however, if this is the case nor, honestly, are we going to do further research into the matter. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0830 Saturday until 1600 Saturday…until 0100 Friday…8.5 hours for the week and 47.5 hours for the week, a solid finale for the sleep week, but hardly the weekly total any of us are looking for. 


The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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