The Diary of a Nobody/July 25

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Thursday, July 25
Boy, I felt good when I woke up this morning…I don’t which one of the three potions I took yesterday – baking soda, Yoder’s Good Health Elixir, or Pepto – did the trick, or maybe all three tagged-teamed on it, but I woke up strong.

I felt so good I got back in the gym today, too…Just in the nick of the time, too, because, as noted yesterday, I was beginning to feel having been away…If you’ve only been away a week, you can generally dive right back in with your regular workout…What’s known as a welcome back workout, where you start at three-quarters of what you used to do, is only  really for when you’ve been out more than two weeks…I’ll tell you what, tho, in deference to my advancing years, I didn’t do the upped weights from last week, but that is still a strong workout, and the tenth rep on the last set was failure – the last rep you can do with proper form – and that is what we are looking for. 

The Wife returned from her house sitting detail late in the morning and she was not pleased with it at all, either…She said the house and the dogs were filthy and there weren’t even clean sheets on the bed, which seems to be a violation of the bylaws, based on some past house sitting yours truly has done…Again, she reiterated her orders to smack her upside the head whenever someone asks her to do this again

I got the lawn done, too and I’ll tell you what, summer is starting to take its toll…We’ve been watering regularly but we haven’t been doing it 24/7 for Pete’s sake and were starting to see some brown patches……We could, I suppose, have gotten a federal water loan to keep it the emerald green it was after our really wet spring, but we didn’t…As it is, we’re spending pretty good money on it and if that isn’t enuff, so be it…But I gave everything a good soak today. 

At 4pm a guy came by to give us an estimate on our bathroom…Long-time readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall that The Wife tore the tile off the lower part of the shower…She then used an old shower curtain and some duct tape to protect the bare areas, a field repair that is still holding up, and for a while now she has been making some of her infamous noises about getting it fixed…She wouldn’t be here for the estimate, and she left instructions for me not in any way, shape, or form mention our expected budget for this evolution…I then made a joke about telling the guy we’re expecting to spend about 15 grand on this – which we’re not – which almost made The Wife pass out. 

Then, a bit before 1700, Tim from the local Legion Sons squadron came by…Tim as a few years on me and is recently retired from the plant outside of town…He showed up right on time, a bit early, and knocked on the kitchen door and then, and I suppose this is typical small town from a bygone era, he opened the screen door and let himself in, which you never saw in the big city…Nobody lets themselves into your house there unless they are going to rob you.  

Anyway, Tim’s the adjutant, responsible for the day-to-day running of the squadron, and he wanted to talk over with his beloved commander some problems he’s been having getting some of our paperwork done…Specifically, he’s been having problems with our squadron officer report and our consolidated squadron report…Now, he actually had a copy of the officer report printed and mostly filled out…He was having trouble finding the consolidated squadron report – which details squadron activities for the past year – online. 

We eventually found it at the national Sons website and we were able to fill it out online…It required my signature, so we printed it out and my attempts to scan both reports so I could email them were abject failures, but between us we were able to stuff them in an envelope and get the envelope addressed and stamped…Tim said he would drop them in the mail on his way home. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1930 Thursday until 0330 Friday…8.0 hours for night and a lusty 38.5 hours for the week, a total we’ve only seen a couple of other times this spring…God bless all of you. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name. 

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