The Diary of a Nobody/May 27

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Monday, May 27
Two guys walked in about midnight looking for a room with two beds…I said sure, we have plenty available and quoted them a rate of $139, plus tax, a rate I pulled out of my ass…I really no idea what we were charging, tho I knew we were only about half full and $139 seemed reasonable for a holiday weekend…One guy asks if I give a discount to vets and I say sure and he produces his driver license, which up here has the branch of the service listed so us vets can get out of traffic tickets…This guy was in the Army, so I announce I was in the Navy, toss the card dismissively on the counter and said no discount…They both laff, of course, and then I say sure, I can take $10 off, tho as we move on the registration process it turns out the rate for their room is actually $124, plus tax so I give soldier boy his choice, the discounted rate ($129) or the rack rate ($124) and even he’s smart enuff to take the $124 rate without help…I present them the registration for signature, noting where they should sign and initial.

Sparrow: And initial yes or no here, depending on whether or not you have a pet…
Guy #1: No, we don’t…
Soldier Boy: I’m not a pet?
Sparrow: No, you don’t have a leash…
A pause…Not the classic Sparrow pause, but pretty good timing nonetheless.
Soldier Boy: Well, not yet.

This led to some general hilarity…Then:

Soldier Boy: He was in the Navy, he’s used to talk like this.
Sparrow: Yeah…I rode submarines, too.
Guy #1: Oh…Nothing will shock you then…

We were only about two-thirds full, pretty low for Memorial Day weekend, and I noted last year on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend we were darn near sold out.

The post’s Memorial Day ceremony went very well…There several compliments on ol’ Sparrow looking pretty squared away in his uniform and while I’m smaller than I was last year, all credit must be given to my new suspenders…They kept my dress blue pants from falling down and if I didn’t look exactly ready for guarding the Tomb of the Unknowns, I didn’t look too bad, either.

The ceremony itself was first-class, but those in attendance for rehearsal had to be scratching their heads wondering if we’d ever so much as formed ranks before…Good gravy, it had all precision of herding kittens…Especially ol’ Sparrow during the changing of the guard…But the second run-thru went better and, of course, Bob, Rick and I nailed the changing of the guard ceremony when it mattered…I completely nailed my line, too, making “post and orders remain as directed” sound like it was coming down from Mt Sinai.

The only downside was, and this happens every year, was that Bob and I have to coordinate marching, halting, facing and moving our weapons around with our backs to each other and, as usual, I was a bit off, but unless you’re Chesty Puller or Admiral Nimitz you probably didn’t notice and if you did you had the good sense to keep it to yourself because when you’re district commander nobody, except those with a death wish, are going to tell you you are out of step.

The weather more or less cooperated, too…It was sunny when I got off work and headed over to the post for morning muster but then the clouds started rolling in there was some thunder during the ceremony and a few drops of rain fell the last few minutes but the sprinkles held off until after everything was done.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1430 Monday until 2000 Monday…5.5 hours…I could have slept longer, but I set the alarm for 2000 so I didn’t have to rush morning routine…Getting to sleep Tuesday morning was not really a concern tho…I picked up some Z-Sleep at the retailer – it’s the Nite-T-Nite stuff without the medicine – and was recommended by Gloria the Head Housekeeper…She said she used it from time to time and that she wakes up feeling good and not groggy, so I will try it…If needed…If I get to sleep at a decent hour I won’t bother but regular readers of this crap know you can’t always depend on that when you keep odd hours.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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