The Diary of a Nobody/October 31

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Thursday, October 31
A very leisurely day…Officially, I didn’t really need one, but winter’s come early and there are four inches of snow on the lawn (last year it was warm and sunny) and it’s cold and there was no chance of doing yard work, which I was prepared to do…So it wasn’t, technically, a General Holiday where I get up and am immediately dispatched to the couch, where I remain until it’s time for bed again…I was prepared to leave the couch at need. 

I was up really early, got a lot of project work done, I couldn’t even be bothered to work out, and I was on the couch reading by 0700, feeling strong, ready for whatever the day brought, which I hoped was nothing…The Wife was up about 0800 or so, ready to face the first of three consecutive days off.

About 1100 or so The Wife and I head for the next county…She had gone to the local market for breakfast provisions but it was closed until noon for inventory and we were hungry and, of course, there’s no place to eat in this goddamn town anymore so off we went. 

First was the chain restaurant place for what turned out to be lunch…They do a really good burger there, tho those pumpkin hotcakes sure looked good, too…The Wife and I talked about the recent murder, appropriate because the suspects picked up the victim at a service station down the street…She started off by noting the only penalties for Murder 1 were death and life without parole…I noted Murder 1 could be hard to prove…It involves premeditation and intent and The Wife shook her head, saying she knew the victim from the retailer and her volunteer project – plus we both worked with the chick suspect at the retailer – and she said everyone knew each other, they were all druggies and these things sometimes happen. 

Since we’re in the next county we might as well stop by the retailer for some donut shop knockoff coffee they don’t sell in town anymore, and some mouthwash they’ve never sold there and, The Wife being The Wife, she grabbed a cart and we did some shopping…The Wife bought some coffee for herself, too, the World Conglomerate Brand, which I despise both on general principles and the fact their coffee tastes like something you put in your car’s engine for improved performance. 

The big news is we changed the litter for the cat box…We usually get the kind in the big, plastic tubs but The Wife, unilaterally, decided to get two boxes of a different brand…The boxes were 40 lbs each and we got two and we still had the empty tubs at The Shire, so it was a simple matter, more or less, to transfer the fresh litter to the old tubs…I talked it over with the cat when we got home to prepare her so she wouldn’t get snitty and crap on the floor, but she remained non-committal. 

We got home about 1330 or so and – after transferring the kitty litter, I immediately reported back to the couch for reading duty…After a couple of hours I was doing more nodding off than reading and The Wife came and patted me on the leg and I took her up on her gracious offer to tuck me in and put me to bed. 

No word on my car, which I wrecked Sunday…I guess the field adjuster hasn’t made it up for the estimate yet. 

 Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1800 Wednesday until 0030 Thursday…These might be the oddest sleep numbers since we started keeping records…Regular readers of this crap know I should’ve been good till at least 0300 but no, I woke up to use the can and that was that…6.5 hours for the night and a paltry 25.5 hours for the week so far, tho we can blame ol’ Sparrow’s vehicular homicide of three deer for that. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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