The Diary of a Nobody/September 22

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, September 23
Proof that ol’ Sparrow will whine about absolutely anything – as if further proof is required – can be found in the fact I was whining tonight when people didn’t ring the bell to my specifications. 

The first guy rang the bell twice, in immediate succession…This is a grievous violation of the bylaws which dictate one ring…If I don’t show up after, say, ten minutes, then you ma ring it again…The second guy rang it once but incurred my wrath by yelping for help five seconds after ringing the bell…For Pete’s sake, give me time to get out of my chair and scoot out there. 

Both were looking for rooms…The first guy was a courteous older gent who said he needed a room as if he were requesting forgiveness…Equally courteous, I apologized and said I couldn’t provide one…The second guy was in his 30s and had a German accent…He demanded a room and was not pleased when informed we were sold out.:

How can that be???
His tone was cross, as if yours truly was in league with others against him.
Well, people rented all our rooms.
What’s going on???
Fabulous, now I’m activities coordinator. I shrugged.
I dunno.
Neither of us was pleased with the other, and fortunately, he turned abruptly and left. 

About 0230 two drunk guys come in and announce they had left their key in the room…All right, a common enuff occurrence, easily solved…Unfortunately, the name on the room was their bosses, not either of theirs…This isn’t that big a deal, either…Can you ID something in the room???…Of course they could, a large, black toothbrush carrier amongst other things…I take them up to the room and while they were too drunk to correctly remember the color of their bags, and their location, the black toothbrush holder was on the sink, so I let them stay. 

This was not straight out of the Security Handbook, but you must be adaptable…One time in Sin City I was sent to let a girl into her room…Her name was on the room and I let her in but she couldn’t find her ID so she pulled a brown bra with white dots on it out of her suitcase and then lifted up her dress to show the matching panties and I declared the entire matter Code 4, radio code for conditions normal, and went back to my rounds. 

Had a great workout this afternoon…With my Sunday Spaghetti Night (SSN) responsibilities, I didn’t want to oversleep so I set the alarm for 1630 so I could be in the gym by 1730, which will get me home around 1830, perfect time to get busy and have dinner almost ready by the time The Wife gets home around 1915 or so.

For the first time, I got the upped weight on the bench press up ten times…Recall the last time I tried it a couple of weeks ago, I could only get it up six times and since then I did the old weight, but I was feeling good today and it was time to see what I had…I had ten in me, and number ten was failure, the last one I could do with proper form, which is what we are looking for in the Sparrow Workout. 

SSN was its usual complete success…I don’t think I would enjoy cooking a complete meal every night, in fact, I know I wouldn’t, but once a week is a treat…I start from scratch, too, making sure the dishes are clean and put away before I get started dirtying up other dishes. 

The Wife doesn’t like leftover spaghetti – all she does is eat it she says, which is kind of the idea, a thought I keep to myself in the interest of domestic tranquility – so we only use half a box…Tonight tho, half a box seemed less than usual and I check the carton and it was only a 12oz box, not the usual 16…So I put a quarter of what remained in – cooking three-quarters of a box for those of you keeping score at home – and it turned out to be a good amount…We now have a quarter box of pasta lying around, but I think I can sneak it in next week and no one will notice. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0900 Sunday until 1630 Sunday…7.5 hours and we’re already 4.5 hours off of last week’s triumphant pace, but I slept 12.0 hours last Sunday because of the Legion district meeting the day before, so it’s understandable. 

As noted, I set the alarm and I also took some Zzzzz-sleep so I would fall asleep quicker. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name. 

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