The Diary of a Nobody/February 17

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Monday, February 17
Ring the bell!!!

Good gravy, this nebbish milquetoast that wandered in about midnight was the worst one yet…He didn’t grunt or make an animal mating sound or any of the other things that peeve me, he made a sniffling sound!!!…I am not making that up…He tried to get my attention by intentionally sounding like he had a head cold!!!…I waited, of course, until he rang bell and this took a few seconds and when he did it was a pretty lame ring…As I got up I remember hoping it was some hapless loser who needed a room so I could have the pleasure of telling him to scoot because we were sold out and I am pleased to report that is exactly what happened.

– Do you have a room???
He was almost weeping…For my part, I tried not to cackle…As it was, I was typically gracious.
I’m sorry…We’re sold out. 
Looking back, I probably should have offered him a tissue as headed out. 

About 0100 a regular guest named Eric shows up…He works for some delivery company out of the big city and comes up every couple of weeks because they haven’t found a delivery driver up here yet…He said there was an enormous amount of snow on the pass and the snow plowers seemed to have no idea where to put it and he had spent no small amount of time staying put while they decided what to do.

Fast forward to about an hour later when 120 calls to whine about a conversation that’s going on in the hall…I go and there’s Eric talking up a pretty girl who earlier had been killing time in the lobby with some friends…He’s standing at the door to his room and she’s sitting on the stairs, curling her hair and making some other signs women make when they’re interested in a guy, signs I’ve always suspected they don’t know they’re making…I tell Eric, you know, we gotta keep the noise down and they both acknowledge my supremity in this matter and I smile and say thank you and Eric waves, starts to open his door and I turn and the girl is so interested she starts talking to Eric:

Hey…

Conversation follows but by now I’m far enuff away so I can’t make out the specifics, but I don’t think they were saying goodbye. 

The snow simply is not stopping…We’ve had more of it this winter than in any winter we’ve had since moving here and I’ve been joking that the drought in the states south of here will be over after the spring thaw…Actually, I think we got off easy here at The Shire…There was only about ten inches to move in the driveway this morning, plus the obligatory berm left by the town snow plowers, a bit less than you might expect when the mountain was forecasted to get three feet. 

As noted, with The Wife still in Kansas, the impetus to some things – like clean up after myself – is missing, so it should not be the Upset of the Year I hadn’t moved the couple-three inches that fell a few days ago…Well, I did move the modest berm the town plowers left on one side of the driveway, but otherwise this really wasn’t that big a deal except for the fact we’d had some warm-ish weather and then it froze again, so there was some ice…This I was obliged to break up with the new pickax we’d bought a few weeks ago and, again since there wasn’t The Wife to answer to, I half-assed this, too, breaking up a good bit of the ice but hardly all of it.  

An indifferent workout tonight…I had big plans for one of the few Monday workouts I’m able to get in, but they didn’t pan out…This happens from time to time, of course, but I have some zero clue why it happened tonite…Lord knows I was rested and I was stoned to the gills on my plant-based pre-workout Crack2K but the mind wasn’t there…It probably didn’t help I was looking forward to a full workout and only had time for a short one but who the hell knows…One of those days. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0930 Monday until 1800 Monday…8.5 hours, 17.0 for the week.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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