The Diary of a Nobody/June 1

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Monday, June 1
I strongly suspect the thermometer that’s shaped like a small pistol isn’t properly calibrated…Recall yesterday I took my temperature twice and it was a degree or so less than 98.6 both times and tonight I took it twice and it was 94.8 when I clocked in and 97.3 when I clocked out. 

I don’t think this is good…One, it was below normal, almost four degrees below normal and some later research showed this is lower than the medically accepted definition of hypothermia, which is bad…Now, I scoped out the symptoms of hypothermia and they included shivering and slurred speech and I wasn’t doing either of those things, and I wasn’t exhibiting the other symptoms, either…I’m feeling strong, so I’m thinking the thermometer is completely whack…Also, the prospect that is not a thermometer but something else completely cannot be dismissed altho I have some zero clue what else it could be…I mean, it produced a reading more or less consistent with what you’d expect a thermometer to produce…What else could it be…Plus, under the circumstances, a thermometer near a clock-in station is hardly a surprise. 

End of the month went relatively quickly and the numbers weren’t good, hardly the Upset of the Year nowadays…Occupancy was at 60% for the month, a figure that might have the owners slitting their wrists…We made our nut for the month, but not until this week, tho now that I think about it, with expenses cut we may have made our nut earlier in the month. We averaged 28 rooms per night…Now, those of you keeping score at home might point out that 28 rooms per night are hardly 60% of the 117 rooms in the hotel, but bear in mind occupancy was 60 percent of available rooms, and the 227-248 wing is being remodeled and other rooms were OOO for maintenance, too. 

At the Veterans Service Office today, there was an email from the county commissioners for me thanking me for manning the coronavirus hotline several weeks ago…This is funny because I think I only manned it twice…Recall it was originally stationed in a meeting room here at the county building, but then they made it a remote operation and that was impractical and hardly any fun so I stopped doing it…Perhaps they will also send one for my heroic service taking notes, remotely, for the Emergency Ops meetings. 

While other businesses are opening up, the county building remains mostly closed, tho you can get an appointment to register your car if you call them and openly weep…I checked the notes I usually ignore from the department heads meeting that I am sent regularly to see if these had any information, but they didn’t…So we are still regulated to being of service via phone and email. 

Which I was today…Brittany, the former Marine officer who first contacted me last month wrote to see what the deal was on her claim…Well, I hadn’t filed it…I had last written her almost a month ago answering a question and I hadn’t heard from her since and there were still some things outstanding….Look, I am not your father…I am not going to hold your hand and pester you about your claim…It’s your claim, not mine, and it is your responsibility to stay current…As it was, I wrote back telling her what we needed, really too boring for even this crap, and I hadn’t heard back from her by the time I left. 

Also, I thought I hadn’t heard back from that spammer who wrote to me last week saying his bank in England had an inheritance from me from one Edward Sparrow…Recall I had answered his original email with a one-sentence response expressing interest and I couldn’t recall seeing another reply from him…So I went and found his deleted email that I’d originally replied to and replied again saying “Well?” just to be a smart-ass then I went and searched some more and I found that he had, in fact, replied to my first reply and that I was a numbskull for being a smart ass because he had actually sent three forms: one was an application for the money – a substantial amount I could probably fund a modest retirement with, plus two certificates: a deposit certificate and deposit confirmation letter, both from 2012 and neither had an address for Edward Sparrow. 

Of course, this is a scam but I’m playing along, just for funsies…I filled out the application…It wasn’t asking for anything more than some routine contact information and I chose to have a wire transfer instead of having cashier’s check issued…It didn’t ask for a bank account number or an SSN or anything else, so I see no harm in playing along…Later, I googled the name of the bank and the word ‘scam’ and nothing relevant came up so maybe it’s legit, tho it’s entirely possible I’m the first mark in the scam. 

In other financial news, the bank book balanced today…The mortgage and a man-sized credit card payment still haven’t cleared but, in my role as Mr Finance, that was factored in…The Household Checking balance is pretty low, but the credit card payment was well more than what was required and I’ve learned it’s best to pay off as much as you can now rather than pay interest later. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 1530 Monday until 2130 Monday…6.0 hours for the day and 13.0 hours for the week, a satisfactory, tho not luxurious, total. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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