The Diary of a Nobody/June 20

Friends, Read Free Fortnight ends Thursday, so click on the button to buy 4Ever and Ever access to both this and Backstairs at the Monte Carlo for only $2.99. You’ll also be entered in a drawing for an extremely rare, first edition, hardback, autographed copy of Backstairs at the Monte Carlo. Hurry! The offer ends Thursday. 


Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Saturday, June 20
Back in the gym this morning for the second workout I three months, and while I was still a little sore yours truly is pleased to report he was a bit stronger than Thursday morning…I was expecting to match Thursday’s strength – where the max sets were what my started sets used to be – but I upped weight on every exercise…Well, the first one, no…The final set on side lateral raises was 15 lbs – the old starter weight -, but that was a misjudgment on my part as I did well over ten and could have gotten 20 lbs up ten times…I filed that away and upped weights on everything else…Maybe, maybe, by the end of the month I’ll be back to normal, but there’s no rush…At my age, you’re lifting as much for future benefits and good health as you are current studliness, so any workout where the last set is max weights being moved ten times is beneficial.  

The only fly in the ointment is the 0600 opening…In the past, I’d get done with project work at 0400, 0430 and could go right in but having to wait until 0600 messes with your eating schedule five hours between waking up and getting in the gym is a lot, especially when you like to work out on an empty stomach like I do…But it’s not practical to be up for five hours without some nutrition before going to pump some iron…Your body will not be strong…On the other hand, you don’t want to be stuffed, either…So I had some cereal at about 0200 and that seemed to work well…The body had some fuel and I’m far from stuffed and feeling lean…Or, rather, as lean as I can feel. 

I trimmed my beard again…A couple-three days ago I trimmed it to 6 mm, the new standard, but today that was feeling scruffy so I trimmed it down to 3 mm…It feels better, tho it looks funny because it hasn’t been that short for a while…Heck, I used to keep it at 9 mm…If I wake up tomorrow and don’t like it that’s all right because one, no one really cares and, two, it will grow back to 6 mm in a week anyway. 

I’m not entirely certain what to expect in my US Senate primary at the end of the month…I’ve run regularly over the years, of course, so I’m a perennial candidate now, and there are some in the party who think it’s time to stop trotting Sparrow out there and get some fresh blood, but I’m getting good action on my website’s contact form and on the Sparrow For US Senate Faceplant page…Not everyone is thrilled with me, tho…Some ding-dong on my youtube channel called me a “knuckle-dragging troglodyte homunculus.”…Good gravy, to think the work he put into that…It might have put him into a coma…I’m not exactly certain what a knuckle-dragging troglodyte homunculus, is but I can surmise so I’m writing off his vote. 

About 1130 I’m in the yard having just moved the sprinkler when Journey (real name) comes by to chat…Recall he moved into Jerry’s old place last year and he had been mowing his lawn – he has one of the effing tractors – and stopped when he noticed me…Anyway, he invited me to a BBQ later in the afternoon, which was mighty neighborly of him, and I told him I usually get a nap in on Saturdays because I have the hotel at 2300, but if I was up I would certainly stop by.

This goes against generations of Sparrow tradition, which dictates DO NOT KNOW YOUR NEIGHBORS but I’m already on friendly terms with Zack across the street, so what the hell…As it was, I was technically up later in the afternoon, but I was reading and already starting to nod off, preparatory to my pre-shift nap, so I didn’t stop by.

I could’ve stopped by later, tho, because matters were still in full swing, with a fairly large crowd out in the yard when I woke up at 2130 (see Sleep Log below)…It wasn’t a bother tho, because this isn’t one of those subdivisions where houses and yards are in close proximity, this is a small town with ample lots…I have a fifth of an acre and Journey has a bit more than that, IIRC, and there’s the alley separating us, too…I don’t lock my doors, and the robins are gone, so they can’t dive bomb intruders, but I don’t think there’s any danger of some drunk wandering over and wondering what the deal is at The Shire…Besides, the cat will kill them. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log:
1800 Friday until 0100 Saturday
1630 Saturday until 2130 Saturday

12.0 hours for the night/day and 50.0 – that’s right, 50.0 – hours for the week…The afternoon nap was interesting because it was one of those deals where you’d doze off but you weren’t entirely sure if you dozed off and you’re lying there wondering and then you remember you dreamt so you must’ve slept and when I woke up a bit before the alarm I felt great, nice and refreshed, ready for my upcoming night’s labors. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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