The Daily Dose/Saturday, October 13, 2018

The Daily Dose/October 13, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
The Russian Soyuz spacecraft that was taking a Russian cosmonaut and an American astronaut to the relieve the crew at the International Space Station (ISS) aborted a few minutes after liftoff Thursday following a booster failure. The spacecraft was prepared for this and the crew returned to Earth safely and the Russians have suspended all future Soyuz launches. It is entirely possible the ISS will be left unmanned because the current crew will have to return to Earth in December due to the lifespan of the capsule that will bring them home.

Regular readers of this crap know we are unabashed fans of manned space travel here and, as usual, we appear to be the only ones getting worked up over Americans having to hitch a ride into space with the goddamned Ruskies. We should be ashamed of ourselves. We’ve said this before:

Had America wanted to, we could have had humans on Mars in the 1980s.

Had we put men on Mars who knows what technological innovations would have been discovered and who knows the lives we would be living today. Perhaps we’d all be jetting around in our own personal space packs. Maybe there would be settlements on Mars. Maybe there would have been advances sufficient to have made our recent mission to Pluto a manned expedition. Perhaps we would only have the satisfaction of being able to say we did it, we’ve been to Mars, yay for us.

Who knows? All we know is that we didn’t do it and the only nation that has put men on the moon can no longer send anyone into space. We should all go stand in the corner and hang our heads in shame.

Today at the Site
Sparrow has a busy day at the retailer on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. He is pleased to report his new half-glasses fit splendidly on the edge of his nose.

Usually, he’s good for at least a 12-pack, plus a one-liter bottle for the drive home…Today, tho, he had a sports drink and he said he was trying wean himself off of Mountain Dew, which I’ve heard is only slightly easier than weaning yourself off of heroin…

Saul Bellow has The Thought for the Day, a quote from his fine novel Ravelstein, concerning having a working and persistent mind.

Intelligence isn’t the ability to use big words few understand or the ability rattle off mindless facts or impressive figures. It is not retaining knowledge force-fed you by an ancient text or an enlightened master or a famous school. Intelligence is nothing more than the ability to learn, something all of us have.

On This Date
In  54 AD – Roman Emperor Claudius dies after 13 years on the throne and is succeeded by his stepson Nero. No one knows exactly how Claudius died. Some historians of the era say he was poisoned, possibly by his wife who wanted the throne for her son, but Claudius never enjoyed good health and he may well have died of natural causes. He had been declared emperor after the assassination of his nephew Caligula because he was the last surviving male in his family

In 1967 – The American Basketball Association debuts when the Oakland Oaks defeat the Anaheim Amigos 134-129 in Oakland. The league had 11 teams that first year and the Pittsburgh Pipers defeated the New Orleans Buccaneers in the first ABA finals four games to three. The ABA would fold after the 1975-76 season, with four teams joining the NBA, two other teams receiving buyouts and one other folding before the merger. Among its legacies are the three-point line and the slam dunk contest at all-star games.

In 2018 – Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line continue their unprecedented stay at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – currently known as the Hot Country Songs chart – as Meant to Be is at #1 for the 45th consecutive week, the longest any single has spent at #1 on any Billboard chart. It is the second time Florida Georgia Line has had the longest stay at #1 on this chart: in 2012-13 Cruise spent a then-record 24 weeks at #1.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The American group that had the next #1 song of the year after Jimmy Gilmer and the Fireballs in 1963 was Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs, whose Wooly Bully was Billboard’s #1 song of 1965. It earned this distinction despite only peaking at #2, the first time a song was named the biggest song of the year without hitting #1. The feat was repeated in both 2000 and 2001.

Today’s Stumper
Before Cruise spent 24 weeks at #1 three songs had spent 21 weeks at #1 on Billboard’s country chart. Name them. – Answer next time!

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