The Daily Dose/Tuesday, December 11, 2018

The Daily Dose/December 11, 2018 
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
Harold Baines was elected to the baseball Hall of Fame this week.

Harold Baines!

Baines, a really good player, played 22 big league seasons – 22 more than we did – most of them for the Chicago White Sox and was elected by a veteran’s committee. The committee also selected relief pitcher Lee Smith who probably should have been elected by the baseball writers years ago.

Now we’re not saying Harold Baines does not belong in the Hall of Fame. Gary Carter’s in, so allowing Baines in isn’t like letting Tito Fuentes in.  Honestly, though, we never lost any sleep over the years because Harold Baines was not in the Hall of Fame and apparently Baines never did either because he was just as surprised as everyone else.

We’re wondering what swayed the committee. Was it his six all-star games? Or his 34th place on baseball’s all-time RBI list? Or maybe it was his ninth-place finish in the 1984 AL home run race. Who knows?

Baines’ selection, however, opens the doors to Cooperstown even wider. If Carter and Baines are in, there should be room for Steve Garvey, Dick Allen, Norm Cash, Dwight Evans, Mickey Lolich and these are just players we thought of off the top of our heads.

Harold Baines was a very good major league baseball player for a lot of years and if the Hall wants to open its doors to the very good and not just the all-time greats, it’s their hall of fame. But boy, they better add a couple of extra wings, because to allow some very good players in and not every single one is not fair. If Harold Baines is good enough, so are many others.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody
: It’s the longest Diary of a Nobody entry to date! Sparrow farts around with the thermostat at Hotel C, goes to the next country for an eye exam sees Todd, the bastard who closed his favorite diner down.

They have you rest your chin and forehead on a frame and then a camera takes a picture of your retina with flash as bright as sunrise…Good gravy the flash was bright…It was funny, too, because I got to thinking about how I wasn’t allowed to look at the eclipse last year without welder’s goggles, but I could searchlights shined directly into my eyes…I saw spots for five minutes afterward. 

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Final: Five 1-11 teams, one ESPNCup, symbolic of collegiate Bottom Ten supremacy. It was the closest voting ever, as your Bottom Ten pollsters also issue the Tostitos Plaque, the Continental Cup and the Sgt Bilko Trophy.

5. Navy (3-10; lost to Army 17-10)
Mitigating Factors: With losses to both Air Force and Army, Midshipmen torpedo way to Sgt Bilko Trophy – symbolic of service academy lousiness…Navy hampered in 2018 by preseason Navy Secretary ruling requiring team to use sonar soundings instead of down and distance chains to reckon yards needed for first down.
The Losing Lamp Is Lighted In All Authorized Spaces: Navy loses ten games in season for first time since first George W Bush administration when 2002 squad went 2-10. 
Next Loss: 2019

On This Date
In 2008 – Bernard Madoff is arrested in New York City and charged with one count of securities fraud in what would turn out to be a Ponzi scheme that bilked investors out of an estimated $65 billion dollars. Madoff would later plead guilty to eleven felonies and was sentenced to 150 years in prison and remains incarcerated at a federal prison in North Carolina. Madoff has a release date of  November 14, 2139.

In 1949 – The Cleveland Browns defeat the San Francisco 49ers 21-7 to win the championship of the All-America Football Conference (AAFC). It was the final game for the AAFC, as it was announced two days earlier the Browns, 49ers and Baltimore Colts would join the NFL. The Browns had won all four AAFC titles and along with the 49ers, are still in the NFL. The Colts folded after the 1950 season.

In 1971 – Sly and the Family Stone is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 with Family Affair. The song was in its second of three weeks at #1 and also spent five weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart, then known as the Best Selling Soul Singles chart. It was the third and final #1 song for Sly and Family Stone.

Talent is that which is in a man’s power, genius is that in whose power a man is.
James Russell Lowell

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Jimmy Dorsey, (1941), Glenn Miller (1941-42) and the Beatles (1964) are tied for the Billboard Best Sellers In Stores/Hot 100 record for most consecutive self-replacement #1 songs with three. This means they had a #1 song and the next two #1s on the chart were by that act also. Miller actually had four consecutive #1 songs, however, Chattanooga Choo Choo dropped out of the #1 spot for a week before regaining the top spot, so Miller is only credited with three self-replacing #1s.

Today’s Stumper
How did the term Ponzi scheme originate? –Answer next time!

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