The Daily Dose – Wednesday, August 8, 2018

The Daily Dose/August 8, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Lot’s going on today. Let’s go:

Leading Off
The Israeli spy agency Mossad is suspected of assassinating Aziz Asbar, a Syrian rocket scientist who, it was believed, had had the nerve to be working on weapons designed to target Israel.

The message, at least the one received here at Daily Dose headquarters, is crystal clear: don’t mess with the Israelis! From their heroic, ruthless hunting down of Nazis to their relentless, efficient hunting down of those responsible for the 1972 Munich Olympic massacre to this, it is plain Mossad will do whatever it takes to protect their state and its citizens, whether anyone else approves of it or not. You probably would, too, if throughout the centuries others have tried to massacre your people, too.

Today At The Site
Sparrow goes to the dentist on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody, and he wasn’t merely told to brush regularly and watch between-meal treats, either. It wasn’t pretty, as evidenced by the 753 appointments that were scheduled for the coming months…Also, the front desk at Hotel B does not have a working printer, a fiasco that won’t be remedied until the end of the week, at the earliest.

Benjamin Franklin, one of the more useful people our species has produced, has The Thought for the Day, a quote from his autobiography talking about people making differences by forming a plan and then executing that plan on a daily basis.

On This Date
In 1974 – President of the United States Richard Nixon, addressing his country from the Oval Office, announces his resignation, the first president to do so. The final blow to the president was a recently released tape recorded in the Oval Office which showed conclusively that Nixon had been told about the Watergate break-in soon after it happened and had approved the ensuing, obligatory cover-up, which everyone already knew anyway, but he had long denied. Vice president Gerald Ford would take office the following day.

In 1992 – The United States defeats Croatia 117-85 to win the men’s basketball gold medal at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. Known as the Dream Team, Team USA was not seriously threatened, winning games by as many as 68 points and an average of 44. It was the first time NBA players were allowed to play in the Olympics and spurred the rest of the world to catch up. They did, too, for while Team USA would win the next two Olympic gold medals, Argentina would win in 2004.

In 1981 – Rick Springfield is at #1 for the second and final week on the Billboard Hot 100 with Jesse’s Girl. The song also went to #1 in Springfield’s native Australia, but only made it to #34 in Great Britain. Though it only spent two weeks at #1, Jesse’s Girl took 19 weeks to reach #1 and spent 32 total weeks on the chart and was Billboard’s fifth biggest song for the year.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The act with the most consecutive #1 singles on the Billboard Hot 100 is Whitney Houston, 7, from 1985-88.

Today’s Stumper
The United States is 138-5 in men’s Olympic basketball. Name the countries that have beaten them. – Answer next time!

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass. 

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