Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Tuesday, July 12
Another busy day.
The Navy being the Navy, Her Majesty was not able to get out of the Navy without a mess…What was supposed to be a 20-minute evolution turned out to be a three hour ordeal…At first they told her they didn’t have her separation paperwork and whomever was authorized to sign it was off at a class somewhere and wouldn’t be available till afternoon, if at all.
She called me more or less panicked…I told her to go and make a fuss…I don’t normally approve of making a fuss, but sometimes you got to, and i encouraged not in the Queen’s English, but in everyday Navy swearing…It worked, tho she wasn’t done till almost 10:30.
This almost screwed up her hair appointment and my lunch with an old friend…Her Majesty’s hair is, of course, the most important thing in the world and she was not only getting a little bit cut off she was getting the lower third colored purple, of all things.
All this was going on as I met Dan and his wife Carmel for lunch…Dan and I go way back and it had been 19-years since we’d last seen each other…Since then they’d put their two sons into college and I’d moved around and done this and that and it was very nice catching up.
Since Her Majesty had the car and she was nowhere done with her appointment, Dan and Carmel drove me to the salon…All told, it took three-and-a-half hours to do Her Majesty’s hair…Three-and-a-half hours!!!…When it was done, Her Majesty got me to fork over for $50 worth of shampoo and conditioner, which I thought was a lot of money, but I have no hair, so what do I know.
There was a funny incident when we drove back on base…Officially, Her Majesty is still in the Navy…She is on terminal leave, which means she is on vacation until her official end of active service next month…In this circumstance, you get your discharge papers so you don’t have to come back at the end of your leave to collect them.
Her Majesty now has purple hair, which is a violation of Navy grooming standards…At first the sentry at the gate checked her ID then waved her in, then you could hear him say “hey wait a minute”…He got to the window and said, what’s with the hair…At first, Her Majesty made matters worse by saying she was no longer in the Navy which, of course, meant she wasn’t entitled to be on base, but she came back strong and said she was on terminal leave and we weren’t shot on sight.
Dinner was with some of her shipmates…It was a very nice…Her thoughts are thoughtful and funny and it was a good time.
Before we headed out to dinner I had Her Majesty stop by the base uniform shop, where I picked up a set of the enlisted submarine insignia, commonly known as dolphins…I had earned these when I was in, but the original pair I had been awarded were accidently tossed overboard by my roomie Rich Ingram…I had forgotten them in the room and I had topside watch and was out of uniform without them…Rich volunteered to go get them and we came back he raised his hand to show them to me and they fell out and over the side…I went and got some really shiny ones, but they weren’t the same as the ones they were issued.
I was on an old diesel submarine, and we have our own dolphins, but they’re unauthorized…I am qualified to wear the enlisted submarine insignia and I wanted my own pair…I also got a miniature pair in case I want to put them on my Legion cap.
The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements – every single one – are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Everything else is a coincidence.