The Diary of a Nobody – A Novel By Gaylon Kent

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life. 

Sunday February 14
Our planned Valentine’s Day trip to the Mexican joint in the next county was snowed out…It started coming down in the morning and was never too bad, really, but it was steady and there was three inches or so on the car when I knocked off work for the day.

So we got some meatloaf at the deli at the supermarket in town and some mac and cheese and winged Valentine’s Day dinner…It might not have been the dive Mexican joint in the next county, but it was pretty good anyway.

Earl had a funny line at work…Earl is in his 70’s, a nice, quiet man with white hair and a dry sense of humor who all the girls at the resort absolutely adore…He drives one of our shuttle buses that takes guests to the ski area…We were in the break room together over lunch, as we sometimes are, and he told us how some guests from warmer climes were asking about driving in bad weather and how, almost on cue, he slid the bus pulling into the resort’s driveway, noting it slid almost 90 degrees.

The guests asked about the roads…I showed ’em.

We were watching some cop/lawyer show on tee vee, and one began right as Earl announced he was going to try and find some flowers for his wife…The announcer said viewer discretion was advised.

I’m leaving…It’s not suitable for young ones like me.

Work was a complete fiasco…This is a very busy weekend and we had loads of checkouts and loads of check-ins, with the first wanting their room showing up at8am!!!…

8am!!!…I am not making that up…Fortunately, they are not unreasonable enough to think their room will actually be ready, but a lot of guest operate under the illusion that if they show up at dawn their room will be ready by breakfast.

This is false…You’re room will not be ready any earlier…It will probably be ready by the standard check-in time of 4pm, which is really bad for guest’s morale because that means they might be waiting upwards of eight hours.

One guest was even under the impression standing in the lobby looking cross and staring at me would get the Housekeeping Department cracking and get his room done sooner.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here

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Gaylon’s Thought for the Day

All teachings are mere references. The true experience is living your own life. – Deng Ming Dao, 365 Tao


We can depend on formal education and religious training only so much. There comes a time when we must put what we’ve learned to the test. We do this by going out and living and trying things we haven’t done before. We do this by trying to exceed what we have already become and we owe this effort not only to ourselves, but our fellow humans.

Some don’t like to do this, either because they fear their efforts will result in failure or because they feel they are casting aside and dismissing what they were taught. Nothing is further from the truth.

The lessons our institutions – family, school, the church – teach us provide the groundwork for what we are to become. They do not hold us back, but rather propel us forward by providing the foundation for a thoughtful, well-lived life.

We must not be afraid to put these lessons to the test. When our experience shows us something different than what we were taught, we must not be afraid to accept this and apply it to our lives. It is the way us humans grow, how we advance individually and collectively.

We must not cling to the past too tightly. We must always be willing to learn the lessons life offers us

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Our Bickering Government

As if they haven’t shamed themselves enough already, our partisan, fractured and bickering government was at its very best Saturday. The ink on Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s death certificate wasn’t even dry yet and already Republicans and Democrats were yapping at each other.

The yapping concerned whether or not President Obama should nominate a replacement. This will surprise you, but Republicans tended to think Obama should leave it to the next president, who might well be a Republican, while Democrats, and this is a shocker, too, said Obama should nominate a successor immediately if not sooner.

This was, as the Chinese like to say, unseemly. Show some respect, for Pete’s sake, and at least wait until rigor mortis sets in before you start bickering at each other and tormenting our country with your mindless arguing about whether or not the current president should appoint a successor in an election year.

For the record, if I’m president and in this position I am probably nominating a successor. Political considerations aside, if it is left to a new president to nominate someone the new justice would not be confirmed until late April, 2017 at the earliest, more than a year from now. That is a long time to have a vacancy on the Supreme Court. If it was after the election and there was an opening, then perhaps I would wait. Or maybe I wouldn’t. If it was the interregnum between election and inauguration I might just nominate someone just for funsies and let the Senate worry about it.

Friends, we get the government we elect. Every single time. We have a petty, bickering fractured government because this is what we keep electing. We deserve better than this most recent display of disrespectful, mindless partisan contention.

We’ve complained about our government enough. It’s time for us to do something. The time has come for us to stop throwing rocks at the castle from across the moat. The time has come for us – you and me, we the people – to cross the moat, enter the castle and join the battle.

Friends, the next election will not be decided by incumbents, or the media or lobbyists. It will be decided by us, and the government we want is there, waiting for us on Election Day. All we need is the courage to go get it.

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The Diary of a Nobody – A Novel By Gaylon Kent

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life. 

Saturday February 13
Got a new ear and nose hair trimmer today…Crap like this is key when  you’re getting older.

I’ve been battling ear hair for about 15 years or so now…I am not going to try to narrow it down any more than that because then I’ll start sounding like an old man with ear hair….About 15 years is close enough.

Anyway, I do keep an eye on my ear and nose hair…In the bachelor days, of course, you kept an eye on it because you are trying to attract, if not a mate, at least a  date and now I keep after it to maintain a professional appearance both at work and while officiating…Plus, it’s good for morale not have hair coming out of your ears and nose.

I’m sure it’s there for a reason for ear and nose hair, but I will sacrifice nature’s intended health benefits to the sake of not looking like a grandpa.

What happened was my old trimmer finally gave up the ghost…I’d had it for ages and for the last year or so it’s needed a good thumping to get going, but lately a good beating wouldn’t even start it, so I skipped the retailer and went to a chain drug store and blew some money on a really good one…Hopefully I will have another US Senate campaign to look good for and it will turn out to be a good investment.

While I was at the drug store I also bought The Wife a new sleeping mask for her eyes…She can only sleep when it is pitch black and the mask helps…The problem is she keeps losing them…I have no idea where they can go, either…I mean, it’s not as if she wears them around the house…They are only used around our bed and the cat has never shown an interest in them, but they keep disappearing…The Wife actually bought a replacement at the retailer but these were cheap and without merit, so, again, I splurged on quality gear.

I had a funny line on the way into work…Almost interesting is the fact I didn’t even think it was funny, but The Wife, still laughing about it on the drive home, made it sound like it was a Line of the Year nominee.

We’re driving in and The Wife is detailing all the things we can do for Valentines Day…We were thinking the local diner, but they’re closed Sunday, but it’s prime rib night tonight and maybe we could celebrate tonight and, perhaps, go to the Mexican joint in the next county tomorrow…Then The Wife mentioned we were invited to one of the three churches she sometimes goes to tonight for a community meal of some sort and she was about to start in on yet another fun option when I showed a palm:

No…Not four things…

What’s funny is I was serious!!!…I really did not want to deal with a fourth option, two were plenty, but The Wife found it hilarious and she was still laughing about it when I picked her up from work.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here

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Gaylon’s Thought for the Day – February 13, 2016

Progress, once started, is endless…We proceed because we must. – Gore Vidal, Empire


It’s human nature to advance and improve what came before us. It’s why our ancestors dug out a tree trunk and sailed across a lake and why Columbus kept pestering monarchs until someone finances his harebrained scheme to find a shortcut to India.

It’s why we went from the Wright Brothers at Kitty to Apollo 11 on the moon in well less than a century. It’s why we’ve from rotary phones to smart phones and it’s why we will progress from smart phones to whatever the future will have us using. The examples are endless.

Our personal examples should be endless, too, because it is no different for individuals. We cannot stagnate, we cannot stop growing. We must not be the same person at 30 that we were at 20, the same person at 40 were at 30. Our progress must be endless, too.

How we do that is as individual as a fingerprint. All of us must follow our hearts and trust our instincts to make our time on this planet serve us, instead of merely serving time. We are not doing ourselves or our fellow humans any good if we’re stagnating.

I know I am not the same writer I was years ago. In my 20’s I wrote a novel called Sam Rider, Private Detective. I still have a copy of it and I will leaf through it from time to time and marvel at how lousy it is. It took 25 years of writing every day, but it’s only in the past few years or so I reached the point where I am saying what I feel needs to be said every time I sit down and start tapping on the keyboard.

We proceed because we must.

It is our only obligation as humans. We must always add fresh water to our ponds, both individual and collective, or else our ponds will dry up.

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The Diary of a Nobody – A Novel by Gaylon Kent

Friday February 12
A day off today…The Wife worked, so I did some things for myself…First, I slept in, till 8:30, which is about as late as I sleep nowadays…Her alarm woke me up, of course, but I rolled over and, after informing her of my undying love for her, told her she was on her own this morning…I was out pretty good and fell right back asleep.

After putzing around a bit and doing some writing for the campaign website I went in and pumped some iron, my first session in ages…I had a pretty good workout, not great, you don’t dive in with a max session after two weeks off, but it was still challenging…I do three sets of ten reps for each exercise and the last three reps on the last set are hard and the final rep is failure, as we say in the gym…It’s the last rep you can do with good form and this is a good way to build some good size, which I have.

I don’t like to brag about this, well yes I do, but I buy The Wife flowers from time to time…She does not like getting “I’m sorry” flowers, but, like all women, she does enjoy getting “I love you” flowers, so I get them for her whenever the mood strikes me…Like today…I was in the store getting some stuff to eat after my workout and I passed the flower section and thought why not?…No good reason not to buy The Wife flowers presented itself so I bought her some purple flowers…She’ll know what kind they are, tho I don’t.

 

Guys, you don’t need to go overboard, either, and spend $20, or more…There are always reasonable priced flowers available, even two days before Valentine’s Day.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, we don’t have any special plans, either…One, the local diner is closed on Sundays, altho we both work Sunday and I suppose we could slum and go out to eat in town after work…Two, I made so many points with world-class knife set and tea kettle on Christmas The Wife actually granted me special dispensation and gave me the holiday off from anything special.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here

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The Diary of a Nobody – A Novel By Gaylon Kent

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life. 

Thursday February 11
All righty, we are all set for the Small Party State Convention next month…Recall I was, for reasons I’m sure they thought good – their United States Senate nominee in 2014 and I am a candidate for their nomination this year…I announced at last year’s state convention to widespread yawning.

This year I am going to have to work for it…Regular readers of this crap will recall two years ago I couldn’t even be bothered to go to the convention and I was still nominated…This year there is another candidate, Lily, a Chinese immigrant who has worked very hard for our party…She might just win.

Maybe not, though…Two years ago I got more votes than any other third-party candidate ever in our state in a US Senate election and that ain’t nothing to sneeze at, so we’ll see….The big event will probably be a debate Friday night at the convention.

Anyway, I’ll be off Wednesday the 9th after work…The convention starts Friday, but I have speaking engagement on Thursday and I am rather excited by the prospect of all this…The convention is in a town a bit south of the big city.

This is the week after the state basketball tournament, too…It will be a busy two weeks.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here

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Gaylon’s Thought for the Day – February 12, 2016

They tell us, sir, that we are weak…But when shall we be stronger?…Will it be when we are totally disarmed?…We are not weak, if we make proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power. – Patrick Henry,  March 23, 1775

This speech, delivered to the Virginia legislature, is mainly known for the “Give me liberty or give me death” line. As it should, this line has lived down the ages. However this speech is also chock full of nuggets that, for my money, makes it one of mankind’s best speeches, 1,213 words that are as relevant to our human experience now as they were in those exciting, tumultuous times.

(Libertarians in the audience may well have seen our friend Jim Burns reenact Henry’s speech over the years.)

Today’s quote is one of those nuggets. A lot of us tend to think we cannot make a difference in our government, that we’re just one person, that we are in the power of those we’ve elected. We shrug and blame the incumbents, the media and lobbyists, but when push comes to shove none of them fill out our ballots for us.

When shall we be stronger?…

Our American electorate will never be stronger than it is right now. Some tend to think we can’t make a difference in our government, but the truth is we are the only ones who can. Nobody else is going to do it for us. If those we’ve already elected were going to do anything they would’ve done so by now. By continuing with the status quo we are merely spinning our wheels, marking time until we decide to do something.

We are not weak if we make proper use of those means placed in our power.

Our Founding Fathers gave us the power of regular elections. The entire House of Representatives and approximately one-third of the Senate and new president will be elected this year. If demanding and participating Americans vote on Election Day, it can be as exciting and tumultuous as the founding of our republic. If we remain content with the status quo, nothing will change.

Friends, we will always – and always means every single time –  get the government we deserve. We deserve better than we have now, and the government we want is there for the taking. We are the only barrier in our way.

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The Diary of a Nobody – A Novel By Gaylon Kent

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Wednesday February 10
I forgot to mention yesterday I rolled with the orange scented house brand dish washing liquid…The old one had been apple scented, which I kind of didn’t like…The Wife liked it, but she wasn’t the one on the front lines, in the trenches, actually in the aisle doing the buying…I was.

I spent a good portion of today’s shift contacting the various guests who reservation for presidential units we will not be able to honor…Most took it, surprising based on recent experiences, surprisingly well…Some did not, of course, but there are people who don’t sunrise well and whine about that, so you let it go.

Some I was able to talk to in person, others I left messages for and some apparently didn’t have a phone because I could not find a number for them anywhere.

Later in the shift I’m at the desk supervising Anyssa doing nothing and we got to talking about the uniforms we are issued…I was issued two dress shirts and a pretty ugly tie I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing in civilian life…Anyssa wears a uniform shirt that she maintains “looks like a table cloth”…I told Anyssa that sometimes I supplement my work shirts with my own, personal blue dress shirt…I added she could tell the difference because my personal shirt has buttons on he collar while the company issued shirts do not.

This thrilling conversation continued with Anyssa pointing out she really likes the blue vest desk clerks wear, though, because there are pockets inside.

You can put soft tacos in there

Since it was in keeping with rather dull tone of this conversation, I pressed for details, with Anyssa saying more than once she has actually stored soft tacos in her vest pocket for later use…She said it is fun watching people wonder where the soft taco aroma was coming from.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here

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Scandals Are Great Fun

As some might recall, Gaylon For United States Senate had a scandal as the 2014 campaign wound down.

It was a pretty good scandal, too, involving some robocalls an organization sent out on my behalf without my knowledge. This usually would not have been too big of a problem except for the fact they went out in the middle of the night. I hope it goes without saying I had nothing to do with them, except dealing with the aftermath.

I found out about the robocalls around 4am a couple of Sundays before the election. I had gotten up for my usual 4am constitutional and I heard my phone vibrating on my desk. I ignored it. It went off again almost immediately so, curious and making sure it wasn’t an emergency, I went and looked.

I didn’t recognize the number so I didn’t answer. I then noticed assorted notifications on my phone: Twitter, Facebook, emails from my contact page and even voicemail and texts because my number was on my campaign’s website.

That was my introduction to RoboGate. History will not record this as the equal of other –Gate scandals, but it was my first one so I dug in. I answered every tweet and email. I tried to return phone messages, but invariably there was so much rancor I stopped spinning my wheels.

Then it hit me this could result in a high level of publicity for Gaylon For US Senate. In another life I was a radio announcer and a newspaper reporter, so I had a working knowledge of what to do and it did result in some TV interviews and other exposure for the campaign.

The only bad part was it was impossible to quantify the impact it had the number of votes I got. I don’t think it dissuaded anyone from voting from me; there is no such thing as bad publicity unless it involves, as the old adage says, a dead woman or a live boy.

Eventually I heard the message and I found it interesting my name wasn’t mentioned until the very end. The general tone of the call was a message of peace. It lasted about 90 seconds or so and ended with “…Gaylon Kent is the only anti-war candidate on the ballot!”

True enough. This was interesting, however, because before this there had been no mention of my name which, of course, meant that people, annoyed at having been woken up in the middle of night actually stuck around to the very end. In retrospect this was probably so they could find out who to get mad at.

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