Monday March 28
I started thinking early out about 1 or so, when I got back from lunch…The circumstances appeared to be favorable: we had stolen Jason for the day from Maintenance and it wasn’t too busy.

But circumstances, as they sometimes will, conspired against the Sparrow Early Out Plan (SEOP).

One, even tho there weren’t more than a couple of dozen arrivals, half waited until I got back from lunch to appear at the front desk…Usually they’re spaced throughout the day, with most coming at night, but not today…Evidently word got out ol’s Sparrow was thinking EO…Two, Jason was given a rather long, tedious project by Araceli, and it wouldn’t have been fair to scram on him.

Two guys came to look at our business center…It has been on the fritz for a couple-three months because nothing works and the vendor that was contracted to maintain it no longer accepts phone calls or emails…Anyway, they were farting around the front desk and one of them asks what a router that is sitting on the back counter goes to.

We all look at each other…The router has been there for a while, evidently, certainly as long as I’ve been there, and nobody seemed to know…It’s on and appears to be emitting Internet waves, but no one was able to say to where…It was funny…I could’ve been a surveillance device placed by ISIS or the Sheraton for all we know.

The big news is there  were three new names on the front desk schedule!!!…I am not making that up…We could’ve used them a month ago, but we’ll take them now.

I was at the gym bright and early, at zero dark thirty…The Wife woke up, announced she was feeling under the weather, which was Wife Code for “I’d rather work in the garden today”, so she told the retailer they would have to muddle thru without her services today before dispatching me to the gym.

I did not have unlimited time…The usual Sparrow workout is two exercised per body part, three sets of ten reps…The first set is a light weight, the second a medium weight and the last one is max weight, the tenth rep is the last one you can do with good form, called failure in the gym…You get good size doing this, and good strength and endurance, too…I do a full body workout every time.

Today tho, I did only one exercise per body part…Actually, I had the time to do the usual  workout, however soaking in the hot springs for a half-hour after lifting is a vital part of my workout, and I  remain committed to getting it in.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here. 

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Sunday March 27
Today’s Mystery of the Front Desk is that most guests who had 10am checkouts were leaving their rooms at 10am…Prudence, who runs the housekeepers from a desk in the back office – the same desk I watched TV reruns online at Monday graveyard – comes out about 10:30 or so crying in her Jamaican accent about how her maids keep going into rooms and finding guests who really should have left already.

It might not seem like too big a deal to you, but this is really a hassle because for every departure we had an arrival, so rooms have to be turned over in fairly short order, so if you are hanging around your room well past checkout, especially on a Sunday in ski season, odds are you are causing problems…As it was, the problem appears to have sorted itself out…Prudence got on the phone and started pestering guests and I didn’t hear anything more about it.

Had the usual sausage and scrambled egg Easter dinner tonight…Call us traditionalists…Actually, I have no particular religious beliefs and The Wife does sometimes, but not right now, so we didn’t bother with a ham or prime rib.

I did grow up Lutheran, tho, and for the longest time in grade school Easter always meant a new suit, at first from Sears then, for reasons which were never explained to us, Dad switched us to JC Penny’s about sixth or seventh grade and as I recall the last Easter suits for my late brother and I came when I was in eighth grade, which was about the time leisure suits came into vogue, a fad Dad never understood…Easter also meant sunrise service and then breakfast in the parish hall and they are still fond memories.

It was warm today, about 50 or so, and driving home from work I actually had the a/c on for a bit, which was silly but after a long winter a high of 50 seems a lot hotter than it does when it is 50 in the fall.

The Wife and I both work at 7am tomorrow and we will be out the door extra early to be at the gym when it opens at 5:30…We can get a workout in, and some hot tub time and still be at work in plenty of time…This is The Wife’s idea…There have been a couple of days when I have gone in at 5:30am the The Wife has followed me in and gone and hit one of the cardio machines and after only two times she is hooked, so I will go and lift some weights.

This involved some planning tonight…I like to eat a lot of protein after I lift, so I cooked a hamburger patty tonight for consumption after workout…It’s not as good as a patty cooked fresh from the pan, but that isn’t really practical, but with some planning you can still eat well after lifting.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here. 

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Saturday March 26
The only downside to the odd hours I’ve been keeping is The Wife and I are off-kilter schedule-wise…More than anything we are not eating together at times we are accustomed to eating together at…This means we are tending to not eat too well.

For example, while I was napping last night before going in for graveyard The Wife, left unsupervised, went to the store and bought some peanut butter and jelly which are big problem foods for both of us…This morning, after getting off work and after going to see The Wife at the retailer, I went for a breakfast of nothing that was good for me at a popular fast food chain…Tonight I suggested we team up for prime rib night at the local diner and if things don’t stabilize fairly soon I might suggest we go kidnap some pigs and roast them in our fire pit.

Work was busy up till 4am…I was dealing with late arriving guests checking in for the first hour or so, and we had a full house so there was more night auditing to do than there is when we’re, say, half-full, however at 4:01am I was watching reruns of an old TV show online enjoying coffee at leisure.

The Wife worked her usual day shift at the retailer and we did end up at the local diner for dinner…Prime rib night, which The Wife loves…I like prime rib, a lot, but for some reason I seldom get it, even tho Charlie does a first-class prime rib…I think it’s because my fave part is the well-done outer ring and The Wife always give me a piece of hers cause she knows it’s my fave and that’s enough…I got my usual Stromboli because I simply hadn’t eaten enough today and I needed more calories before going to bed…Belch.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here. 

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life. 

Friday March 25
I can’t believe I went this long without talking about my new iPhone…I know you’re pretty shocked, too.

It came Wednesday, right on schedule…Actually, a bit early…The email had said it would be there “by 8pm” which is kinda late for us so I was glad it was here by late morning.

Instructions for activation were to call an 800 number and press some buttons and then to turn the old phone off and turn the new one on and follow some prompts…Hilariously, with Laurel and Hardy timing, the Internet here at The Shire went down…I am not making that up!!!…So there I was thinking fabulous, I drop a whole dollar on an iPhone upgrade and it doesn’t work…I would say figures, but I generally have better luck than that…Regular readers of this crap might well note it is probably not be the Upset of the Year that it took me more than a few minutes and two or three timeouts on the new phone to realize something was up.

I’ve had iPhones before, so I know my around and it’s nice to have one again…The Wife, of course, is insanely jealous, as she should be, and is already counting the days until she gets to upgrade, too, probably to a flip phone.

RIP the Commando phone…It started out strong, but the past year or so has had trouble loading stuff and it took ten minutes to send a text…On the plus side, it was virtually indestructible, however I never had a chance to test this by keeping it underwater for a half hour or dropping it from the top of a building.

Work was very busy, again, as you would expect spring break in a ski resort to be…Fortunately we stole Jason from Maintenance for the day…The big problem has been the weather…Between guests who were snowed in in the big city and guests who wanted to extend because the snow as so great, Jason and I were pretty busy.

Something that is taking up no small amount of time is our new coffee station…It’s in the lobby and there are air pots of regular, decaf and hot water, plus ice water, which goes pretty fast considering it’s still 15 degrees out…We’re a first-class joint, of course, and a coffee station must have coffee all the time not just whenever the hell Sparrow can get around to making some, plus cream and sugar and tea and hot cocoa and those little stirrers because who in the hell wants unstirred hot cocoa???

I scooted a bit early, too, because I am going back tonight for graveyard.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here. 

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life. 

Thursday March 24
So I head to the back office this afternoon and Ariel is manning PBX (the hotel operator’s desk) and she’s just back from lunch and there’s a grilled cheese on her desk from a local joint…I like grilled cheese’s…A lot, even tho I don’t make too big a deal of them here.

Hey, is that a grilled a cheese???

Ariel was actually on the phone attending to a guest…I was so focused on the grilled cheese I couldn’t be bothered to notice…After she hung up I pointed at the box…She had actually eaten half the grilled cheese…It was a valid question; you don’t see many fresh grilled cheeses in the workplace.

Is it any good?
Meh…The grocery store has better.

The grocery store!!!…I had no clue the grocery store did grilled cheeses…I made a mental note to scoot there after work but after some thought they probably wouldn’t make him like I like them, so I decided not to.

Growing up my late brother and I made grilled cheeses all the time…He actually made the best ones, lots of butter, but not too much…I always put too much on which meant it took a long time for them to get brown, but my brother always knew the perfect amount to put on and his grilled cheeses always came out slathered in butter and gooey with cheese…Mine usually came out burnt.

I couldn’t chat with Ariel for too long because boy or boy we were both slammed and shorthanded and again ol’ Sparrow spent the day doing the work of two or, sometimes, three.

I went in today expecting to find my Sparrow For Congress cards delivered from the printer but they weren’t there…I couldn’t look into it until I got home, and it turns out – and I still don’t understand this – but the shipper delivered them to the post office…I had them delivered to work because the shipper delivers there three times a day and I figured it was a pretty safe bet because sometimes deliveries to our small town get lost…So I called the printer and asked, you know, what in the hell is going on and Trevor said he really didn’t know either…Trever tho, gets big points for taking care of it…After I asked if he knew where the shipment was and he said no, he agreed with my suggestion they reprint the order and ship it again and he said he “110 percent” took care they would be delivered to the resort and not the local post office.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here. 

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Wednesday March 23
You know, I was thinking about this as I went to bed, and there is no reason not to consider this a three-dayer…Sure I went in for graveyard Monday night, but I slept in Monday and lifted weights and yesterday was productive and today was a day off, too.

I slept in till after 7am, late for me, and rolled over and saw The Wife starting in on negotiations with the morning to wake up, too…Yesterday she had made some of her famous noises about going to the gym this morning, but one look and I knew there was no way….This was confirmed after she had gotten up and made some coffee and decided there was too much housework to be done…She did add, however, that she would be blaming me for her failure to join me at the gym the second I was out the door, however.

Winter had visited overnight, depositing about an inch or at The Shire, however in town they appeared to have had about half a foot, tho it had been plowed so it was hard to tell for sure.

This meant our planned afternoon gardening was put off…The yard has been raked of twigs and snow mold, however there are little piles of sticks and whatnot scattered throughout the yard that need to be sacked up, but that can wait…In a manful battle with the elements, I did fill the bird feeder…The Wife was supervising from the living room window and there was so little feed left in the bag she suggested I toss what was left on the lawn…I saw no reason not implement this suggestion, either.

When I was at the convention a couple of weeks ago I bought two wall maps, one of the world and of the US…These were at the request of The Wife, who wants to keep track of where in the world the kids have been…I was complete in favor of this, too, cause I’ve always enjoyed maps…We took them into the framer today, which is really quaint because not many small towns have guy who makes frames…His Jim, an older sort who’s been in town all his life…He also owns a ranch, or maybe his family does, but he really enjoys making frames and his shop is open afternoons on weekdays…He unrolled one of the maps, considered the matter for a bit, then suggested some sort of white board behind it, and his specialty, a cedar frame…The maps are laminated and we plan on writing on them, so we saved big money by not requiring glass and Jim said he’d have them in a couple of weeks…He said he would’ve them sooner but he’s going to visit his sister next week.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here. 

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Tuesday March 22

I spent most of the graveyard shift at work training Mic, who is going to take over as fulltime night auditor…This despite the fact he has no front desk experience and is, in fact, transferring over from the laundry room, where he cleaned and folded sheets and towels.

Being a night auditor certainly isn’t all that tuff but, boy, it helps to have some front desk experience to fall back on and Mic has none of that but he’s a smart guy and it shouldn’t be a complete disaster.

Mic is also a hard worker…He has two full time jobs and works nine shifts a week…In fact, he is the only person on this planet who can claim both me and The Wife as co-workers, as he works with her regularly…Mic says he is determined not to become delinquent in this child support payments and that he is supporting his mom, besides, so he needs every hour he works.

The big news is they changed the schedule and I am not going back to work until Thursday morning…Recall I had been scheduled work graveyard again tonight but for reasons I’m sure someone thought good they changed that…Mic will be working by himself tonight…I am not entirely sure he is ready for that…He had worked a few graveyards before tonight and tonight I should have really just sat back and watched him work his magic but he needed a lot of instruction…The good news is Mic, which is short for something I can’t pronounce – he is originally from Jamaica – is a smart guy and I typed up some rather detailed instructions which is rich because I’ve done exactly four night audits myself.

So I had the day off with The Wife…I napped till about noon or so, but then she blew the trumpet for reveille and I was up and at ’em…It was a nice day so we got some work done in the yard, sacking up some of the piles and twigs and stuff she had been raking up off the lawn and I even did some raking myself.

I am grateful to The Wife for this…I really enjoyed hearing compliments on our yard last summer and I am determined to keep them coming, so I am an enthusiastic helper…I am also easily distracted…While walking the from one part of the yard to another Louie and Tommy drove up in the trash truck and caught me air guitaring…They waved and laughed, probably not the first time they’d caught someone air guitaring in their yard.

I don’t remember the song I was air guitaring to.

After that I cleaned my desk and hung up some pics that had fallen down…My desk is usually a complete mess and every couple-three months it reaches even my threshold and today was a good day to clean it…Topping off the excitement was a trip to the next county…I needed frames for my discharge certificate and an 8×10 of my old diesel submarine…Since we were in the next county we stopped by the farm store to see the baby chicks and The Wife bought some raspberry plants to plant in her garden…She said she was going to plant them on one of the trees in the front yard…Since we were in the next county we, as usual, saw no reason not to dine at the dive Mexican joint there, since it’s the only dive Mexican joint in the tri-state area.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here. 

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Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life. 

Monday March 21
Enjoyed a rather enjoyable day off before heading into graveyard tonight.

First I slept in…I haven’t been able to do that too much lately and I was in the sack pretty early last night – well before The Wife – and I slept thru The Wife’s rising and prepping for work…Fully rested, I hit the gym feeling really, really good, like everything I want to accomplish was there for the taking.

This was nice, which is almost interesting because I’m pretty optimistic as it is, but I felt so good I took The Wife to lunch after workout and did some writing in the afternoon before turning in for a nap before heading in for graveyard…I go in for graveyard Tuesday night, too, get off Wednesday morning and have Thursday off before heading back to work Friday morning.

I’ve been emailing with Michael S, who was at the Minor Party convention with me a couple of weeks back…In fact, he was the one who nominated me for Congress after I announced my withdrawal from the race for our US Senate nomination…He lives in my district and was a big fan of Sparrow for US Senate.

It should be noted our Congressional district is humungous…Positively huge…It takes up the entire western third of the state – we live in the NW part – from the state above us to the state below us, then takes up the southern third of the state thru the mountains and into the Eastern Plains…I did some research and it is the largest Congressional district in the country, except for the couple of states that only have one member of Congress…If it were a state it would be slightly bigger than North Carolina…There are two population centers, none of them near me – one about four hours southwest of here, and where Michael lives, well-southeast of here no more than refreshing five hour or so drive from The Shire…Those of you keeping score at home might well be thinking running for the US Senate would’ve been easier and you’re probably right because I could be in the big city for a TV appearance in three-and-a-half hours.

Still tho, Michael and I think we can win in November…Call us optimists if you must…He knows people and groups I can talk to throughout the district because he’s traveled the state campaigning against some evil government programs.

You never know what is going to happen in this life, tho…We dive in, meet some people and with the level of discontent with our government pretty high, if Sparrow for Congress meets the right people I feel anything is possible.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of Gaylon’s imagination or are used fictitiously. 

The Diary of a Nobody began in October, 2013. Read past entries here. 

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