The Diary of a Nobody/October 10

Read Free Week continues!

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, October 10
A good morning with The Wife…She and the others got back from their trip working at a retailer a few hours south of here last night and she got home about an hour after I got back from the candidate’s forum…She was putzing around the house when I woke up this morning and she could see no reason why she and her husband should not go out to breakfast at the new restaurant on the edge of town…I was getting ready when I asked The Wife if today was Wednesday and she said yes and I violated the Second Commandment, adding the breakfast joint is closed Wednesday…Very adaptable as always, The Wife laffed and said well, let’s go to the next county, noting we could pop in at some other stores “just for funsies” a line she long ago stole from me, appropriating it for her own personal use.

We went to the chain restaurant and the Wife had an omelet, with hash browns, and I had a stack of banana nut hotcakes cause they looked really tasty on the menu pic…They were as tasty as advertised, but they came on the same size plate as the side of sausage did…I didn’t understand this at all…For goodness sakes, put a stack of hotcakes on a regular-sized plate because otherwise, it feels like you’re eating a side dish…Plus, there’s no room for syrup and certainly no room for the man-sized hunks of sausage a growing boy like me requires, which blows because then it can’t sit in the syrup…You would think a major chain restaurant would know this and I made the waitress take it back and put it on a big plate.

After a couple of weeks with the falsies, I’ve learned it’s useful to rinse them off immediately after eating because otherwise food gets stuck between the falsies and the gums then you’ve got food particles in your mouth…You also rinse your mouth out, too…I was doing that and there were a couple of older gentlemen using the can (one wearing the same brand of overalls I was wearing) and then they were waiting to wash their hands…I apologized for holding for holding them up and showed them a falsie I happened to have in my hand, which made them both laff. 

There was a farmers market set up in the parking lot and there was no way The Wife was going pass that up and she bought some tomatoes then we went to the farm and ranch store both wander around in and to do some preliminary scouting on a new winter jacket for The Wife…We were pulling out of the grocery store when The Wife noted a new thrift store had opened just down the street.

Well, I enjoy going to thrift stores with The Wife because you never know when you are going to come across something useful and inexpensive…We found our very nice kitchen rug at one in town – The Wife really haggled over it, too – and my world-class snow boots were found in a thrift store for $30…Today we both found something…Actually, The Wife found two things…One of those wooden dish racks that have criss-crossing wood thingies and a baseball jersey of the Dodgers, her fave team.

Long-time readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall I’ve been searching off and on for a couple-three years for a decent pair of half-glasses to rest, with distinction, on the end of my nose…Well, I found a pair at the thrift store!!!…They’re smaller than my current pair, which actually aren’t too bad, and the magnification is good and they look super-sharp, too, and they were priced to move at 98 cents so I got them…They will be perfect when working the service desk at the retailer.

I recognized one the guys working there…His name is Jake and he used to work at the supermarket in the next county when I worked for the Daily Delivery Company…Jake used to be really big, 350 pounds big, but then he started losing weight and we talked about it – because I lost a lot of weight once – he said he did it by walking and no longer eating for four…He’s put most of it back on, tho…Not all of it, but a lot…He’s probably about 300 or so now and he had been down to 250 or so.

So The Wife and I get home and I’m farting around at the desk and The Wife announces the coffee’s and that she needs a hand moving something…OK…I get to the kitchen and she needs help moving a big pot of boiling water that has her new baseball jersey in it…I am not making that up…The Wife was boiling clothing…I stood there looking at it with my mouth open…I’d never seen clothing being boiled before…The Wife, tho, said it is a good procedure to follow after you buy thrift store clothing because you never know what might have lice…She added that in this case she was also boiling it so the jersey would come out whiter and seemed surprised when I had never heard of that trick, either.

Sparrow’s Sleep Log:  2330 Tuesday until 0800 Wednesday…I cheated and took a PM and slept well. 

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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