The Diary of a Nobody/October 14

Read Free Week continues!

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, October 14
We still cannot pull biscuits and gravy off at the hotel without a problem…Recall two weeks ago I couldn’t find the crock pot, obliging me to pull a solution out of my arse, and last week the biscuits were spoiled, obliging me to defrost some at the last minute.

I was prepared this morning, tho…I pulled some biscuits from the freezer immediately after reporting for duty and IDd the location of the crock pot and was all ready to go at 0530…I pulled the #10 can of gravy from the frig and one thing you should know is we do not have an industrial strength can opener…We have two of those handheld ones and they’re not the top-of-line, either, so not only is opening large, professional food service cans tedious, it’s dangerous, too…So this open can was only open halfway…I poured it into the bowl to microwave it and there was only a little bit in there, obliging me to open another can…Well, both openers were on their last legs and I was only able to open portions of the lid and campers, you gotta be careful here because this is not life and death, it’s a lousy complimentary hotel breakfast and I am not going to slice a finger off by pulling the lid back with my hands…I was able to open enough to pour some gravy out, tho, but I told Puja we need a professional grade can opener.

Before reporting for duty at the retailer I returned a shirt I had bought the day before…It was a long-sleeved thermal shirt, it was the retailer’s house brand and I don’t know what I was thinking because I generally do not buy their stuff because sometimes they are not well made…Like this shirt…Where the sleeve met the shoulder was down on the arm a couple of inches, not at the shoulder…Sigh…I’ve run into this before and you would have thought I’d’ve learned my lesson but you would be wrong…Sir Thomas took care of my return – I had my receipt, of course – and I took it in cash instead of putting it back on the debit card.

There was a very funny incident tonight, as funny as I’ve had here…I was doing a return for an older gentleman, a shower curtain rod, I think, and it came out to $10.71 and he said he’d take it cash and I turn around to place the item on the counter behind me.

Sparrow: For goodness sakes, don’t tell the wife.
Husband: She’s right there behind me.

There’s a pause..I’m back at the register and I press a button and the cash drawer opens…I take ten dollars and 71 cents out.

Husband, laffing, and a bit louder than  necessary: Here, I’ll just put my card in
Sparrow: Chip reader if you got it, Sir…
Wife: What’s going on here???
Sparrow: Nothing!!!…Nothing at all, Ma’am…Nothing going on here!!!…Right, Sir???
Husband: Of course not, honey…

The wife doesn’t necessarily believe this and the gentleman and I look at each other for a couple of seconds…I shrug:

Sparrow: Should I just give her the money???
Gentleman, nodding agreeably: Might as well…

The wife laffs and holds out her hand and her husband smiles, too, and I give her the money.

Candace from the other hotel called – after playing phone tag with her work number she broke down and gave me her cell and we ended up texting – and I am going to meet her Monday morning…She said Dave gave me a fabulous recommendation and “would like to chat” with me, probably to offer me a job…

Sparrow’s Sleep Log:  0800 Saturday until 1245 Saturday and 0900 Sunday until 1400 Sunday…9.5 hours total, a lousy total for the first two sessions of the sleep week…Saturday was explainable…The Wife and I had plans to go into town and see the movie First Man at 1350…The Wife was sleeping when I got home Saturday morning, so I left a note to wake me up at 1245…Since I tend to get up when I need to in these circumstances, I was up a bit before 1245 but The Wife was still enjoying her four-day at-home time and said she was going to let me sleep because she didn’t really want to hitch up the team and head into town so, as noted in yesterday’s entry, we went to the pumpkin patch a the local park.

So I was pretty tired when I went to bed Sunday morning after the hotel and I was expecting to sleep straight thru to the 1530 alarm but nooooo, I was up at 1400 – to use the can, of course – and I have all-you-can get sleep Monday so I stayed up and farted around doing some writing…It will make for a long day – there’s both the retailer and the hotel – but I don’t work that hard so what the heck.

After relatively normal hours last week – when I lost interest in the Sleep Log, It’s nice to be able to return to whining about the sleep mandated by irregular hours.

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence.

It was inspired by the 19th century British novel of the same name.

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