Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/September 9

September 9
Editor’s Note: Following is a very long entry containing nudity, a white substance, implements consistent with narcotics use, a trick roll, a rare trip to the roof of the Monte Carlo and a lost MCSD digital camera.

Here was your Henry lineup last night:

Henry 1 – moi
Henry 2 – X-Ray
Henry 3 – Shaggy

One aspect of this job that is similar to sports officiating is that you can go from having a slow night to getting busy just like that.

At 0425 I was sitting in a maid’s room with my feet up on a desk and looking forward to my final 10-10, which Henry 1 always takes at 0515. 45 minutes later you can forget about Henry 1’s treasured final 10-10 as I had responded to two calls which resulted in no less than three (3) reports for me to write.

The fiasco started when I was sent to 29-102, my second visit to that room in as many nights; I had been sent there last night to escort the guest to the front desk so he can pay his bill, which itself is unusual. Classy joints like Monte Carlo, hell, even the rent-by-the-hour places between The Strip and downtown, usually get payment in advance, either by the leaving of a credit card or by the paying of cash. Turns out the guy was a guest of the casino, however, he wasn’t getting comped. I had to get a printout of his bill for one of the reports and it turns out he wasn’t even getting the casino rate because he was paying anywhere from $250 to $500 a night and, campers, if a casino extends you the privilege of paying that much for your room you really aren’t all that important, although if you drop enough you could make yourself that important by the end of your stay.

Anyway, like you probably would be, the guy was embarrassed at having to be escorted to the front desk by a grunt security guard and he tried to be snotty with me but I was born without a temper and had the charm factor on High besides, and, while he was arguing with the front desk he was on the phone with someone telling that person that while everyone at the front desk was Satan incarnate, this bald security dude is pretty much the nicest guy on the planet. 

That was the night before. The call at 0426 was to meet 77Rick at this guy’s room because someone in housekeeping had told the front desk there were drugs in the room. 

Rick and I make entry and there’s more white powder in the room than in the Alps in winter. After a thorough visual inspection 77Rick determines it’s crystal meth and we find a torch and a line of blow on the counter and we also find a pipe that in the report we would describe as being “consistent with narcotics use” lying on a table somewhere. There is a copy of How To Make Love Like a Porn Star, itself dusted with powder, on the coffee table. 77Rick radios X-Ray to go to the HSO (Hotel Security Office) and get the digital camera. (Remember the camera; I end up losing it later.)

It takes X-Ray a while but eventually he gets there and 77Rick and I take pictures of the dope and paraphernalia, which is strictly for our use in case the guy tries to deny everything when we evict him. 

So 77Rick and I wrap up there and he assigns me the report, appropriate since I was the responding officer, and besides, I do all the reports in the hotel anyway when we get sent to 32-128 for what is reported to be a domestic dispute. 

These are fairly common. You’d be surprised. Maybe they came here hoping the magic of Vegas would help them patch things up (it doesn’t) or maybe the woman’s pissed because her man isn’t paying enough attention to her (she is). It doesn’t necessarily have to be a real couple fighting, either; it could be your standard hooker/john dispute, which happens from time to time, too. Usually, the hooker will ask for more money and the guy will get mad or maybe the guy wasn’t happy with the service(s) he was rendered or maybe the john actually is completely psycho. Invariably the hooker screams assault while the john claims he was robbed and nobody ever ends up pressing charges against the other, because a wife will end up wondering why the Clark County District Attorney keeps calling about his court date. 

Fortunately, it was convenient to get to 32-128. I was walking down the 100 wing anyway to go to the bell elevators so I could return the camera to the HSO on 16 when I got the call and it was a simple matter to head up to 32. The elevators open into a small foyer and as soon as I opened the door from the foyer to the hall I am met by a stark naked, tall, thin black girl and you didn’t have to be Joe Friday to know she was a hooker.

The girl is as hysterical as she is naked. I like naked women, a lot, but we don’t really need to have her standing around naked so I go back to the elevator foyer where the Housekeeping Department – for reasons I’m sure they think are good – keeps the bathrobes that are put in the suites and rooms on 32. She seems to appreciate the robe. 

Right about now, dispatch announces that the alarm for the door in the south tower leading to the roof has gone off, which means someone has opened the door and may well be running around on the roof. But that is not the most egregious crime against humanity and can be attended to later. 

77Rick gets there about this time and the girl points out the room and we go and knock on the door and the guy yells come in. 

We probably should’ve made him come and open the door, but since we weren’t riddled by gunfire as soon as we knocked 77Rick motions that I should use my master key and open the door. As I do so I see him reach for his gun, which sorta makes me want to stop and say “Hey”. I mean, if you’re supervisor is reaching for his gun maybe he should be the one sounding the bugle here and not someone whose main source of protection is a flashlight. 

(This would lead to some hilarity in the briefing room after the shift when 77Rick was telling the story to Eric and Judy. When he got to this part I make exaggerated motions about him pushing me into the room ahead of him. Maybe you had to be there)

As it is, I had my share of courage and stood resolutely on the point and bravely opened the door and we made entry and we find a Middle Eastern man sitting on a chair in the corner appearing to be tying his shoes. 

Fabulous I’m thinking to myself. We can’t see his hands and the guy’s going to pull out an Uzi and I am going to die. 

Actually, I didn’t really think that. Immediately I tell the guy to put his hands where we can see them and he quickly complies, throwing them above his head like he was being robbed. 

This turned out to be a typical hooker/john complaint and 77Rick is expert at dealing with these and X-Ray and Shaggy were there now and we still had the south tower door alarm to attend to so I broke off, went down the 100 wing on to the E-Core, down the 300 wing and up the stairs to the south tower door. The door is not completely shut, so I open it and go out on the roof. I make a quick visual inspection, don’t see anyone and am preparing to head back in when dispatch announces the west tower door has been opened, so I tell dispatch I am going to head to the west tower via the roof. 

This is not easy. There is a lot of crap on the roof. I am not entirely sure what it’s all for since fish have more mechanical aptitude than I do, but I think it’s a/c and fire sprinkler and maybe some elevator stuff. All I know is that from the south wing it is pain in the ass to get around and over and I am even obliged to get on my back to shimmy under some pipe-type deals, resulting in some minor scuffs to my new Comfort Flex Stingrays. It takes a while but I end up at the west tower door. I open the door (announcing the fact to dispatch so the alarm going off again won’t make them shit) and in the stairwell I run into Judy and Eric, who had abandoned their outside duties to see what was up in the high rent district. As it was they didn’t find anyone in the stairwell and there was no one on the roof so I tell dispatch everything is code four on the roof. I head down the stairs and enter the 32nd floor. 

For those of you keeping score at home, I am right back where I started. The hooker still has the robe on, though she has added pants and 77Rick is wrapping matters up with the Arab and, as usual, no one is pressing charges.

This is report #2.

Report #3 concerns the camera. Recall that I was headed to the HSO to return the camera when I caught this squeal. When I entered the hall and encountered the hooker I put my clipboard and the camera on the floor and when I went to retrieve those items the camera was nowhere to be found. There were other guests running around the hall and we suspect one of them lifted it. 

As it turned out, I only did one report before leaving, the hooker/john one. 77Rick ended up taking the drug one and I will do the lost camera report tonight. 

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