The Diary of a Nobody/June 16

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Tuesday, June 16
Boy, Q is gaining weight…I’ve only seen him a couple of times since the lockdown began and boy, the buttons on the bottom half of his uniform shirt was gallantly doing some work when I reported for duty…Q admitted as much, too…Ol’ Sparrow had been whining about how he’s been eating like an oink-oink…This is true enuff…Despite my recent Health Initiative – kombucha, carrot and green juice – I am still packing the grub away, tho my belt is still fitting the same…Q, tho, dismissed my whining, however, noting how he might be requiring a new uniform shirt here in a week or so…I told him to plan ahead and order now because you know how long uniform items take to be shipped. 

I did some of the training quizzes this morning…These quizzes are so important that despite the fact they were due last year, Assistant Front Desk Manager Devani didn’t tell me about them until a couple of months ago and I just now got around to doing them…They’re not that hard…Well, if you’re just starting out your front desk career you might have a problem or two, but if you’ve been knocking around front desks for a lot of your working life. 

There are some things quizzes simply cannot cover, tho, like having the instincts as to when one of your patented, stock-in-trade lines will not be appropriate…I had that happen this morning…Right after I took command, I got a call from a guy at the corporate lodging place needing two rooms each with two queen beds pretty much right now…Well, despite the recent upswing in business, we still had plenty of rooms and the crew leader checked in about 20 minutes later…I was in the back office and had neglected to put the sign and the bell out and regular readers of this crap know this can lead to disaster, but I had just happened to wander out for something or another and noticed him, though he had been waiting for a few seconds…I noted the bell wasn’t out and apologized…Now, regular readers of this crap know that I am usually good for putting the bell out and tossing my classic and insisting the guest ring the bell, which is usually good for a few laffs. 

Here’s where the instincts that no quiz can cover come in: it was plain the guy was tired…He probably had a long drive and that probably followed a long day on the job site and he was weary and I could tell he wasn’t in any mood for lame one-liners.

His check-in took less than 60 seconds…The room keys were ready and all he needed to do was sign the registration card…He’d stayed here before, too, so he didn’t need directions or the amenities spiel…There was no need to take up any more of his time than necessary. 

At 0120 I could hear noises consistent with the back office door being opened…There’s a lock on there that requires a code to open so I figured death wasn’t imminent, but who the hell would be coming into the back office right now???…I was forming a list of candidates when the owner’s daughter waltzed in, needing some amenities…She and her boyfriend apparently were in house while on a road trip.

I could’ve pulled the knife on her, because it was clipped to my belt, but didn’t, at least until the threat level was determined…Some would have pulled the knife immediately, but I had the presence of mind not to, something else you can’t teach in a quiz. 

The knife was again useful this morning…Recall yesterday I needed it to open a sack of oranges and three boxes of creamers, and tonight I needed it to open a box of Choco-Tacos!!!…I am not making that up…The sundry stand stock was running low and there was a fresh box in the back office freezer…I even removed the top flaps, for easier future access. 

I made the company an extra $50, too, key in this economy…This guy came up and needed a `1600 checkout…I told him no, we couldn’t accommodate that without a fee…Usually, this is sufficient for them to withdraw the request and settle for noon or 1300, but he merely shrugged and asked what the fee was and he said do it after $50 was quoted. 

In another sign business is picking up, I had three spare pots of coffee ready to go when candace came in at 0705…Previously, two had been the Virus Era standard. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: 0930 Tuesday until 1900 Tuesday…9.5 hours for the day and pretty good 23 hours for the week…I cheated and took some Zzzz-Sleep and boy, it did its work well…I woke up when a dream ended about 1130 and again for the obligatory 1300 head call, but other than that, it was a great rest period, exactly what was needed heading into the usual long Wednesday.  

The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

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