The Diary of a Nobody/September 19
The Daily Dose/Monday, September 19, 2022
The Daily Dose/September 19, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.
Leading off is in time-out for the moment.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – At the retailer, Sparrow’s favorite Aisle 5 is gone. Today’s Diary.
…longtime readers of this crap may – or they may not – recall the Bachelor Purchase of the Nite (BPN), which was always some hapless loser living alone buying bachelor stuff like macaroni and cheese and frozen pizzas…Our All-Time Fave (ATF) BPN was that chubby kid with greasy hair buying two packs of Magic The Gathering Cards and our largest box of Junior Mints to accent his (solo) Saturday nite festivities, which probably included stuffing dead bodies under the porch.
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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.
In 1982 – The emoticon – the use of keyboard characters to express an emotion – is used for the first time on a bulletin board at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh by Peter Fahlman. Fahlman suggested using :- ) and :- ( as markers for what were and were not jokes. Fahlman did not originate the idea, though. It had been suggested by, among others, Readers Digest in the 1960s and some rather dull sorts have argued over whether or not English poet Robert Herrick used one in 1688. Emoticon is short for ‘emotion icon’.
In 1993 – John Carney of the San Diego Chargers establishes a new NFL record for most consecutive field goals in an 18-17 win over the Houston Oilers. Carney had six field goals, giving him 29 straight, and research into whose record he broke was inconclusive. Carney’s streak would end at 29 with a miss on Oct 3 against the Seattle Seahawks and the record is now held by Adam Vinatieri, who kicked 44 straight field goals for the Indianapolis Colts in 2015-16.
In 2020- Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion is at #1 on Billboard’s first-ever Global 200 chart with WAP. The song would spend three non-consecutive weeks at the top and also went to #1 in seven countries, including Greece, Great Britain, and the United States, where it was in its third of four non-consecutive weeks atop the Hot 100. It was the fourth of five Hot 100 #1s for Cardi B and the second and most recent #1 for Megan Thee Stallion. The Global 200 ranks songs based on digital sales and streaming data from over 200 countries and territories.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
The American dream is not about money. It is about using your abilities and being the best you can be.
Congressman J.C. Watts
Republican National Convention
8/13/96
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
The last now-defunct NFL team to win the league title was the Providence Steam Rollers in 1928.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
What act holds the record for most #1 songs on the Billboard Global 200? – Answer next time!
The Diary of a Nobody/September 18
The Daily Dose/Sunday, September 18, 2022
The Daily Dose/September 18, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.
1. NCAA Sports – A bored US senator wants to introduce legislation regulating NIL payments to athletes…Fabulous, just what any situation needs, government involvement …Butt out, people…The NCAA created this mess, let then deal with it.
2. King Charles III – His 10-day reign already a complete failure, as Britain as chaotic as she’s ever been…Alleged love child with queen consort who lives in Australia starting to make a bit of a fuss about being Prince of Wales, but History shows bastard children of monarchs have been shipped overseas and ignored for centuries.
Editor’s Note: the usual 3-hole staple – USA! USA! – has the week off. We’re still going to hell in a handbasket, though. Don’t doubt that.
3. War In Ukraine – Things starting to sour for evil Ruskies, as pesky Ukrainians force a retreat, while support amongst fellow Satan-worshippers starting to wane as even freedom hating Chinese are starting to wonder what the deal is.
4. NFL – Billions of dollars are wagered on your games and you still insist on annoying bettors and bookmakers by allowing tie games…Here’s a suggestion, since plainly you don’t want to play real football: give one team the ball at midfield and see how far they can get in four (4) plays, then have the other team take over and see if they can get across midfield…If they can, they win; if they can’t they lose. If both teams score, do it again until there’s, you know, what’s known as a winner.
5. Major League Baseball – This morning are four (4) teams under .500 are still mathematically, in the playoff hunt, which is not what your think of when you hear the phrase “pennant race”…There would’ve been five (5) teams except the Cubs were, rather mercifully, eliminated Saturday.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
Three cheers for Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary!
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has the latest MPG figure for the new ride. Today’s Diary.
And the figure, while disappointing, is hardly a bulletin because there are a lot of elevation changes and cruise control usage is curtailed, too…
———
Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.
Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device.
———
On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.
In 1837 – Tiffany & Co. – then known as Tiffany & Young – opens in Brroklyn, Connecticut, billing itself as a ”stationery and fine goods emporium”. The store moved to Manhattan in 1838 and provided swords for the Union Army in the Civil War and bucked the trends of the era by marking prices clearly to avoid haggling and only accepting cash. Tiffany’s was sold to a French conglomerate that owns, among other things, Hennessy, last year for $15.8 billion.
In 1920 – The NFL – then known as the American Professional Football Association – is formed in Canton, Ohio. 14 teams played at least one game that season and the first game was played on Sept 26 when the Rock Island (Ill.) Independents defeated the St Paul Ideals 48-0 and the first league title was awarded to the Akron Pros with an 8-0-3 record. The association became the National Football League in 1922 and the only two original teams remaining are now the Chicago Bears and the Arizona Cardinals.
In 1962 – Judy Garland is at #1 on Billboard’s Top LPs chart – a predecessor to today’s Billboard 200 – for the second of 13 consecutive weeks with Judy at Carnegie Hall. It was the fifth chart album for Garland, her third Top 10 album, and remains her only #1 and the album won four Grammy Awards, including Album of the Year and Best Engineered Album. The album did not produce a chart single and Garland remains one of 17 acts to have a #1 album without hitting the Hot 100, though she did have several hits on Billboard pop charts in the 1940s.
Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.
It speaks volumes about Michelangelo’s self-confidence that he dared to tackle the most difficult , most unpaintable subject in all of art…For an artist of Michelangelo’s ambition, however, the subject was compelling, perhaps even inevitable.
Miles Unger
Michelangelo: A Life in Six Masterpieces
Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.
Surveyor 1 was the first American spacecraft to land on the moon, doing so on May 30, 1966. Previous US missions had crashed into the moon.
Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.
Who was the last now-defunct NFL team to win the NFL title? – Answer next time!
The Diary of a Nobody/September 17
It’s Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Saturday, September 17
Amy was buzzing around when we reported for duty…We’re sold out but a guest checked out earlier in the day so 163 was vacant and there were guys – dressed like shrubbery, because it’s that time of year – who needed a room so Amy went and cleaned it for them…God bless her because while yours truly tries to be of as much service as possible, good luck getting me to clean a room to hotel standards because these are far higher than the Level I and II “cleanings” we produce for The Shire.
The Daily Dose/Saturday, 17, 2022
The Daily Dose/Friday, September 16, 2022
The Daily Dose/September 15, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
Friends, we are still on the road and you Heavyweight Champion of the World – The Daily Dose – is taking another day off. Nothing, however, stops The Diary of a Nobody.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow and Jerry go out to lunch. Today’s Diary.
We took his car and he turned too early for the parking lot and the options were to turn around or go over some curbs and Jerry, driving his county vehicle – they give him a car, too, in addition to a cell phone and laptop – saw no reason not to drive over the curbs…Then heading out he followed this big truck that we both swore was also heading to a street tho, hilariously, it was heading into an In-N-Out drive-thru, with utter despair and tragedy averted only because he was able to back out…
The Diary of a Nobody/September 15
It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…
Thursday, September 15
Ol’ Sparrow had another solid workout at the hotel gym today…Weights were really strong and cardio felt great, too…Some ox came in to workout while we were on the treadmill and he got on the one next to me and after walking at speed 2.8 for 20 whole minutes (with no incline) he went to the weight area, moved the bench, and then flopped on the floor doing stretches or maybe he was having seizures, it was hard to tell…There weren’t any distress sounds coming from his general area, so we left him alone.
The Daily Dose/Thursday, September 15, 2022
The Daily Dose/September 15, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™
Friends, your Daily Dose is enjoying a day off.
Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually.
The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow gets to tell about his assault. Today’s Diary.
The big news is ol’ Sparrow was able to relate the story of my assault last February at the hotel to the group…Tony was doing a spiel on de-escalation because not every veteran is in a happy place when they come to see us and he asked if anyone has had to de-escalate and I raised my hand…I noted this came at my graveyard day job at a hotel and told about the drunk guy that walked toward me, adding that with 13 years of Lutheran schooling, de-escalating was as natural as breathing.