The Daily Dose/August 8, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

3…2…1…BLASTOFF: South Korea recently launched their first lunar mission, an orbiter that includes a variety of scientific experiments that are, thankfully, beyond the scope of this modest feature, but part of the mission is to map out potential landing spots for an unmanned lunar lander by 2030. 

ROTFLMAO: This made us laugh because the US, at no charge to the South Koreans, has already pre-qualified the Sea of Tranquility, among other places, as suitable sights for landing a spacecraft. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The spacecraft is called the Korea Pathfinder Lunar Orbiter (KPLO). It lifted off on August 4 from Cape Canaveral aboard a Space X rocket and if successful the Koreans would become the seventh country to explore the moon, joining the US, China, Japan, India, the European Union, and the Soviet Union.

More Dry, Technical Matter: The South Koreans could also have taken lessons from the US in getting to the moon quickly. We took three days, while the KPLO is not scheduled to reach lunar orbit until December of all things. 

Dry, But Not Too Technical Matter: This intrigued us, so we looked into it and without getting too technical, the KPLO is solar powered and will use Mr Sun’s gravity to race out to a point about four times farther out than the moon, before reversing course using gravity to ease back toward earth and, eventually, lunar orbit. 

FunFact: The US can send a mission to Mars in seven months.  

The Bottom Line: Don’t get us started. Longtime readers of ours know our position: we could’ve had humans on Mars in the 1980s if we’d wanted to but we didn’t want to. Our loss. The fact our good friends in South Korea are just now getting their first lunar excursion off the ground and that it is taking them four months to get to the moon merely reinforces a point we made here recently: that the Apollo program was ahead of its time.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – It’s complete chaos at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

So ol’ Sparrow was thrown back to the Stone Age again, no longer able to run the nite audit or do billing in the back office, nor is he willing to count money out front with the window uncovered…There is simply too much big-league private security experience here to risk it…Plus, and this is the ultimate horror, we are now obliged to do billing without the benefit of watching the old Bob Newhart Show. 

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On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1945 – France, the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom, and the United States sign the London Charter, which established rules and procedures for trying Nazis at the Nuremberg Trials. The charter established three classes of crimes: crimes against peace, war crimes, and crimes against humanity, and the Nuremberg Trials began in November and lasted until October 1946. The charter would later be used as a framework for war crimes trials against the Japanese. 

In 1870 – The United States, represented by the New York Yacht Club, defends the America’s Cup for the first time, with the schooner Magic defeating 16 other American boats and the Cambria, which represented the defending champion from Great Britain. The first America’s Cup – then known as the Hundred Guinea Cup, had been run in British waters in 1851 and the New York Yacht Club would defend the Cup 23 more times until Australia won it in 1983. The 2024 America’s Cup will see New Zealand defending off the coast of Barcelona, Spain. 

In 1987 – U2 is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For. The song also went to #1 in the band’s native Ireland, peaked at #6 in Great Britain, and was Billboard’s 23rd-biggest song of the year. It was the second and final #1 song for the group and the song’s last appearance on a Billboard chart came earlier this year when the song peaked at #22 on the Hot Rock and Alternative Songs chart. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

He pioneered the monetizing of slaves, just as he pioneered their industrialization and diversification.
Henry Wiencek
Master of the Mountain: Thomas Jefferson and His Slaves

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

The commander of US Marines at the Battle of Guadalcanal was Brigadier General Alexander Vandegrift. Vandegrift would later serve as Commandant of the Marine Corps. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many nations have won the America’s Cup? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 7, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

The Sunday Bottom 5
A ranking of some things.

1. Si Green – Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “thrilled” for opportunity to mention basketball player picked ahead of Hall of Famer Bill Russell – who died this past week – in 1956 NBA draft…Green averaged 9.2 points and 4.3 rebounds per game in a career that included two losses to Russell and the Boston Celtics in NBA Finals. 

2. Brittney Griner – American basketball player in top shape, so she should handle Russian hard labor camps better than most…Americans still clamoring for her release despite fact you break laws in other countries you take your chances, just like foreigners do here…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters still “pretty sure” President Biden will cave in and cut whatever deal the Russians want.   

3. USA! USA! – The 3-hole staple…US assassination of al-Qaeda leader via drone strike in Afghanistan another example of US conducting acts of war against country Congress has not declared war against, despite tedious fact Constitution gives them that responsibility…Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters remain “pretty sure” US remains far closer to the oblivion that awaits it than the prosperity, influence it once had and that America has until half-century is out to show it can govern itself before someone comes in and does it for us.  

4. National Football League Players Association – You know guys, collectively bargaining that NFL commissioner has appeal authority over punishments handed out by independent arbiters probably wasn’t too bright as Cleveland QB DeShaun Watson now probably going to get season-long suspension he probably should’ve received in the first place.  

5. Nancy Pelosi – Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters “strongly suspect” US Speaker of the House’s visit to Taiwan as reckless as it was steeped in vanity, one last attempt to make the headlines before losing Speakership following 2022 midterms. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Yay for Read Free Sunday (RFS) at The Diary.

The Diary of a Nobody – At the hotel, Sparrow fields a phone call. Today’s Diary. 

About midnite this guy calls looking for a room and we’ve been knocking around front desks long enuff to know a guy who’s looking for a place to score…We had pretty good availability, tho The System was still asking $290, but we quoted $225 and evidently the prospect wasn’t all that hot because he said no. 

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1942 – The Battle of Guadalcanal in the South Pacific between the United States and her allies against the Japanese begins when elements of the United States Marine Corps landed. The battle would last until the following February and was part of the Solomon Islands campaign, both of which resulted in Allied victories. The Solomon Islands were then a British protectorate that achieved independence in 1978. 

In 1936 – Argentina wins the polo gold medal at the Berlin Summer Olympics defeating Great Britain 15-5 in the gold medal match. The competition featured five teams divided into Groups A and B, with the top two teams in Group A, with the best a Group B team could hope for was a bronze medal. Polo had previously been an Olympic sport in 1924, 1920, 1908, and 1900 and this remains the last polo match played at the Olympics. The day before Mexico had defeated Hungary for the bronze medal. 

In 1965 – The Beatles are at # on the Billboard 200 album chart for the fifth of six consecutive weeks with Beatles VI. The album also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #15 in West Germany, was not released in Great Britain, and produced one chart single, Eight Days a Week, which had spent two weeks at #1 in March. It was the second of nine consecutive #1 albums for the group and their fifth of 14 overall #1 albums in America. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

…all truth is old, and only error is original.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol III: Caesar to Christ.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Satchel Paige’s career batting average was .097, with two runs scored and four RBIs.  

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

Who was the commander of US Marines at the Battle of Guadalcanal? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 6, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow hosts a meeting of the state board of veterans affairs. Today’s Diary. 

The meeting room had these deals called Owls which are a combination speakers, microphones, and cameras…They’re pretty creepy, actually, looking as they do like an owl and having the ability to focus a camera on whomever’s speaking…Hell, you didn’t even have to be speaking for the camera to find you and there was more than one time when ol’ Sparrow would be doing some project work on the sly and we glanced up at the big screen and BOOM there’s iso-cam coverage of yours truly…This is bad because few are as unphotogenic as ol’ Sparrow and some of it was from the side, too, which is downright frightening, but we weren’t up there all the time.  

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1806 – The Holy Roman Empire comes to an end when Holy Roman Emperor Francis II dissolves his position after the founding of Napoleon’s Confederation of the Rhine during the Napoleonic Wars. The Holy Roman Empire had been founded as a coalition of European states in the 10th century. Francis continued to serve as emperor of Austria and King of Hungary, Croatia, and Bohemia, and later served as president of the German Confederation. 

In 1952 – Satchel Paige of the St Louis Browns becomes the oldest pitcher to throw a complete game shutout in a 1-0, 12-inning win over the Detroit Tigers. Paige was 46 years old and gave up seven hits, struck out nine, and walked two in winning his eighth game of the season. Research into whose record Paige broke was inconclusive and the mark was broken by Phil Niekro in 1987 and the record is now held by Jamie Moyer, who was 47 when he pitched a complete shutout in 2010. 

In 1983 – The Police are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the fifth of eight consecutive weeks with Every Breath You Take. The song went to #1 in five other countries including Israel and Great Britain, peaked at #26 on Billboard’s dance chart, was Billboard’s #1 song of the year, its 5th-biggest of the decade, and ranked 31st on Billboard’s 60th Anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. It was the fourth of six Top 10 hits for the group and remains their only #1 song and won Grammy Awards for Song of the Year and Best Pop Vocal Performance by a Duo or Group. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

There is no duty so much we underrate as the duty of being happy.
Robert Louis Stevenson

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Elvis Presley had 21 #1 songs in Great Britain, the most of any act. The Beatles had 19. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

What was Satchel Paige’s career batting average? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/August 5, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

Leading Off is enjoying a day off. It will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow stocks up on ground beef at the grocery store. Today’s Diary. 

…we stood there scratching a chin with our hand considering the matter: they were on sale, and at a hefty savings to boot…We have a freezer…And a gift card…So we ended up taking twelve and then throwing in one more for good measure…

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1858 – The first trans-Atlantic telegraph cable is completed. It ran from Valentia Island off the coast of Ireland to Trinity Bay, Newfoundland, and was laid by the Atlantic Telegraph Company. The first test messages were sent on August 10, and transmission speeds were very slow, with a 98-word telegram from Britain’s Queen Victoria to President James Buchanon later taking 16 hours to send. Attempts to improve the cable were unsuccessful and the cable would fail altogether in September. 

In 1975 – The Philadelphia Phillies tie the major league record for most consecutive hits at the start of a game in a 13-5 win over the Chicago Cubs. The Phillies had eight consecutive hits to tie the record established by the Cubs in 1973 and the mark has been tied four times since, most recently by the Minnesota Twins in 2011, and the Cubs are the only team to do it twice, having also done it in 2009. The Phillies’ hits came off of Bill Bonham and Ken Crosby and Bonham’s total of seven consecutive hits at the start of a game remains a major league record. 

In 1957 – Elvis Presley is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor to the Hot 100 – for the fifth of seven consecutive weeks with (Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear. It was the eighth of 19 #1 songs for Presley and the song also went to #1 in Canada and peaked at #3 in Great Britain. The song also went to #1 on Billboard’s country and soul charts, the third of four Elvis songs to do so (Jailhouse Rock, Don’t Be Cruel, Hound Dog), a feat only matched by All I Have To Do Is Dream by the Everly Brothers. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

All teachings are mere references. The true experience is living your own life.
Deng Ming-Dao
365 Tao

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

Ten acts have had songs spend at least 20 weeks at #1 on Billboard’s country chart. Florida Georgia Line and Hank Snow have done it twice.

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many #1 songs did Elvis have in Great Britain? – Answer next time!

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It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Thursday, August 4
It was a very strong troika at the gym this morning…(This followed about as half-ass a Level I cleaning as we are capable of.)…Despite waking up tired (see Sleep Log below), weights were what we’ve come to expect on Thursdays, cardio was strong the whole way, and the soak was Soak of the Year.

Continue reading →

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The Daily Dose/August 4, 2022
By Gaylon Kent – America’s Funniest Guy™

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

CAPSULE BOOK REVIEW: In The President’s Secret Service by Ronald Kessler: This book has a lot of information on presidents and their families you might not have heard before. Yay and boo. 

Yay because it is, frankly, interesting to read. Kessler interviewed over 100 current and former Secret Service agents and they had no small number of tales to tell. 

OTOH: Boo because one of the tenets of serving presidents and vice presidents is you keep your mouth shut about what you hear at the White House and One Observatory Circle, where the vice president lives. Large parts of this book are possible only because some agents blabbed and we’re still not entirely sure if we enjoy hearing private details about presidents. 

Extra, Extra, Read All About It: Now, not all of the tidbits were bulletins. That Kennedy played around – a lot – is hardly a state secret anymore, but did we really need to know that LBJ had cajones the size of pineapples? Or that Mr Obama continued to smoke after publicly claiming he had stopped? We didn’t, though your mileage may vary.

Dry, Technical Matter: Tattling aside, Kessler tells good stories about the origins of the Secret Service, founded in 1865 to fight the counterfeiting of US currency, and about the Secret Service’s largest gun battle, outside Blair House when two men tried to assassinate President Truman on November 1, 1950. 

FunFact: The Trumans were living at Blair House, which is across the street from the White House, because the White House was being renovated. 

FunFact II: Kessler asserts that the Secret Service is not being particularly well run, suffering from low morale and a rather high attrition rate, though it should be noted the book was published in 2009 and things might have changed. 

A Break In The Action: Here is The Daily Dose rating system: 1 – The Very Best; 2 – Very Good; 3 – Good; 4 – Average; 5 – A Steaming Pile

Final Ranking: 3: If you have an interest in the presidency or the Secret Service, you will probably like this. It’s not a particularly difficult read, either. We’re moderately slow interest, but with a high level of interest in the subject, we read it straight through on a day off. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody – Sparrow has big news from the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

[Chris] did NOT highlight his amounts with green highlighter, but rather circled them with green ink!!!…I AM NOT MAKING THAT UP!!!…

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Click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

———

On This Date
Extra, extra, read all about it.  

In 1790 – What would eventually become the US Coast Guard is formed when President George Washington signs a tariff act that allows the president “to cause to be build and equipped, so many boats or cutters, not exceeding ten, as may be necessary to be employed for the protection of the revenue”. Originally known as the Revenue-Marine, it became the Revenue Cutter Service in 1894 and the Coast Guard in 1915 when it was merged with the US Life-Saving Service. 

In 1953 – Vic Raschi of the New York Yankees establishes a new major league record for most RBIs in a game by a pitcher in a 15-5 win over the Detroit Tigers. Raschi had seven runs batted in, including two RBI singles in the second and fourth innings, and a three RBI double in the third which constituted two-thirds of his eleven RBIs on the season. Research into whose record Raschi broke was inconclusive and the record is now nine, by Tony Cloninger of the Atlanta Braves in a 1966 game where he became the first National League player to hit two grand slam home runs in a game. 

In 2018 – Meant to Be by Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line establish a new Billboard country chart record for most weeks at #1 when it is #1 on the Hot Country Songs chart for the 35th consecutive week. The song broke the record of 34 weeks established in 2017 by Sam Brown with Body Like a Back Road. Meant to Be would eventually spend a total of 50 consecutive weeks at #1, a record for a major Billboard singles chart that still stands. The song also peaked at #2 on the Hot 100.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever.

Finally, were we truly men of dedication–with an honor mortgaged to no single individual or group, and compromised by no private obligation or aim, but devoted solely to serving the public good and the national interest?
John F. Kennedy
Speech to the General Court of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts
1/9/61

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Knowledge is power.

There are roughly 400 Radio Shack stores remaining in the US. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard.

How many country acts have had songs that have spent at least 20 weeks at #1? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!