The Daily Dose/December 23, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.

Leading Off is enjoying its annual, reader-depleting holiday break. It will return after the first of the year. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow has his treasured sleep session interrupted. Today’s Diary.

This wasn’t straight thru sleep, tho because twice I was woken up by my phone buzzing…Now, I usually leave the phone on my desk but the past couple-three sleep sessions I’ve been using an app that produced those soothing sleep sounds…With some results, I think, because it hasn’t been taking forever to fall asleep.

Anyway, it started out on the nightstand and I sleep with earplugs and it was tuff to hear, even with the volume cranked, so I moved it to the bed, right next to my head and about 1630 it starts to buzz like there’s a call…I ignore it and then after buzzing the river noise starts again…20 minutes later more buzzing…This time I check and there isn’t a record of an incoming call so who the hell knows what the buzzing was…Yours truly half-thinks it’s the app wondering why it’s still going, but why would an app designed to help you sleep intentionally wake you up???

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 16 – The Jets win, throwing the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – into even more chaos than usual. 

1. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-13; lost to Baltimore 40-14) – Owner Genghis Khan elated over ascending B-10 throne, calling off jihad against coaching staff, players, for failure to lose opener…Jaguars’ first-ever B-10 title there for the losing…Literally…Next Loss: Chicago

The Regular Guys/Chapter 23 – Part III  – A ransom note for Larry is received. 

Like every other communication from the kidnappers, this one was brief:

Larry is OK and will remain OK as long as you do as you are told. Get $10 million cash ready for delivery.
We will be in touch.

Sam Rider read the note, whistled, and showed the note to Ron Thomas.

“That’s a lot of money,” Ron Thomas said after reading it.

Sam knew Ron wasn’t talking about the value of that amount of money, but rather how much space ten million dollars in cash would take up; that was 100,000 $100 bills, the largest bill currently circulated by the United States Treasury. Ransoms were strictly cash transactions and 100,000 U.S. banknotes would weigh just over 220 pounds and would not be easy to deliver. 

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It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
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On This Date
The long march to today. 

În 1948 – Seven Japanese civilian and military leaders – including former Prime Minister Gen. Hideki Tojo – are executed in Japan following convictions for war crimes by the International Military Tribunal for the Far East. The seven had been sentenced to death on Nov. 12 and had been notified of the time of their death two days earlier. Originally 28 Japanese had been charged with 55 separate counts, though the court ruled 45 of charges were either redundant or not authorized under the tribunal’s charter. 

In 1972 – The Pittsburgh Steelers defeat the Oakland Raiders 13-7 in the opening round of the AFC playoffs. Trailing 7-6 with 22 seconds remaining, Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw threw a pass that was deflected by Raiders defensive back Jack Tatum and picked up right before it hit the ground by Steelers running back Franco Harris, who ran it 43-yards for a touchdown. History refers to this play as the Immaculate Reception.

In 1989 – Phil Collins is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of four consecutive weeks with Another Day In Paradise. The song went to #1 in ten other countries, including Zimbabwe and Norway, peaked at #2 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s seventh biggest song of 1990. It’s the seventh #1 single for Collins as a solo act, all in the 1980s, tying him for second with Whitney Houston and Madonna behind Michael Jackson, who had nine #1 songs in the 1980s.

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

One may talk of peace only with those who are peaceful. To talk of peace with him who holds a drawn sword is foolish unless one is unarmed, then one must talk very fast, indeed.
Louis L’Amour
The Education of a Wandering Man

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.

The Washington Capitals have given three shorthanded goals in a game five times, an NHL record. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

How many countries provided judges for the Tokyo War Crimes Trial? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/December 22, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.

Leading Off is enjoying its annual holiday break. It will return after the first of the year. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow sees a dog eat its own puke. Today’s Diary. 

Tammy brought her new dog Whiskey into the hotel this morning, an immediate replacement for the one that died last week of old age…Whiskey’s a little scamp, running around and whatnot and I was at the safe dropping some money when the dog starts to puke right at my feet…Tammy’s right there, I point it out to here and she goes to get something to clean it up with…I look down to stuff the baggie with the cash into the safe  and I had to look twice, to verify:

“Uh, Tammy, Whiskey appears to be eating her own puke.” 

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Final – It’s all over. It’s the final NCAA Bottom Ten rankings for 2020. The Bottom Ten is free this season. 

The quest for Bottom Ten glory started in August. Or September. Or October. And it ends here, with a result as unprecedented as the season itself: for the first time ever, there are multiple champions. Yes, with the exception of the Tostitos Plaque, Sgt Bilko Trophy and Conference of the Year laureates the seven remaining teams – all unvictoried, of course – have won the ESPNCup – symbolic of NCAA Bottom Ten supremacy.

Just like the Special Olympics, everyone’s a winner in The Bottom Ten this season.

The Regular Guys/Chapter 23 – Part II – Larry is still kidnapped. 

Special Agent Sam Rider and Ron Thomas got busy searching. Since the room was empty except for the furniture the hotel had put in there, it wasn’t the most difficult search in the history of law enforcement. After a few minutes, Sam turned the mattress over and a piece of scrap paper came fluttering out. 

“Oh my, what do we have here!” he exclaimed, sounding as if he had just walked in on a lady bathing.

“I’d say it looks like a piece of paper,” Ron Thomas said as Sam bent over to pick it up. 

“Probably the address where Larry is being held.”

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

On This Date
The long march to today. 

În 1989 – Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu is overthrown after 24 years in power, ending unrest that had begun five days earlier. Ceausescu was making an outdoor speech in Bucharest when the citizens became violent, obliging Ceausescu and his wife to flee in a helicopter and they were captured later that day. On the 25th Ceausescu and his wife were tried, convicted of assorted charges including subversion and genocide and shot to death. 

In 1983 – The New York Islanders tie the NHL record for most shorthanded goals scored in a game in a 6-1 win over the Washington Capitals. The Islanders scored three shorthanded goals, to tie a mark that had been done several times previously, including the night before by the Edmonton Oilers, and has since happened often enough that it no longer has any historical significance. The record is now four shorthanded goals in a game, by the Winnipeg Jets, who did it in an April 1995 game. 

In 1979 – Rupert Holmes is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three non-consecutive weeks with Escape (The Pina Colada Song). The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #23 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s eleventh biggest song of 1980. It was the second chart single for Holmes, his first of three Top 40 hits and remains his only #1 song. Escape was the final #1 song of the 1970s and would return to #1 on January 12. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

What we do we are conscious bound to do; we can do no other way.
Simeon
Uncle Tom’s Cabin
Harriet Beecher Stowe

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.

Harry Chapin’s last appearance on a Billboard singles was in 1980 when Story of a Life peaked at #5 on the Bubbling Under the Hot 100 chart. 

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

What NHL team has given up at least three shorthanded goals in a game the most times? – Answer next time!

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The Daily Dose/December 21, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience.

Leading Off is enjoying its annual holiday break. It will return after the first of the year. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody –  Sparrow runs into a yapper at the hot springs. 

After a while, he seamlessly rolled into a story about his encounter with a celebrity…Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your view on the matter, I missed the name because I’d gone underwater – probably to see how long I could hold my breath – and I fled soon after that…I’d heard enuff…The lady tho, was taking it in good spirits, even to the point of asking a question or two, which was sort of like hitting the reset button….The guy indicated he was there every Sunday, so maybe I’ll run into him again.

The Regular Guys/Chapter 23 – Part I  – Larry is kidnapped. 

Larry was kidnapped by four men in clown masks one afternoon a few months later. He had been walking to his car in the Caesars Palace parking garage to drive to lunch with Ray Evans, gossip columnist for the Las Vegas Herald.

Click here for complimentary chapters of all of Gaylon’s books.
It’s easy reading on any device. 

Columns, books, shopping lists, click here to get in on the laughs.
4Ever & Ever ($8.99) and monthly ($2.99) plans available. 

On This Date
The long march to today. 

In 69 AD – The Roman Senate declares Vespasian emperor, the final of four emperors in a year History logically refers to as the Year of Four Emperors. Vespasian replaced Vitellius after beating him in battle and Vitellius had taken power in September after Otho had killed himself. The year had started with Galba on the throne, who was killed after being overthrown by Otho. The chaos had been instigated by the suicide of Emperor Nero the year before and Vespasian restored stability to the throne, serving until his death ten years later. 

In 1981 – Cincinnati and Bradley establish a new NCAA record for the longest game in a 75-73 Cincinnati victory. The teams played seven overtimes, with the game tied 61-61 at the end of regulation. The shot clock had not been adopted yet and neither team shot much. In fact, neither team scored in the third overtime and only a last-second jump shot in the seventh overtime prevented another scoreless period. Seven appears to be the maximum number of overtime college teams are willing to play as it is also the NCAA Division II and III records, and the all-time NAIA record as well.

In 1974 – Cat’s in the Cradle by Harry Chapin is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for its only week. It was the third of six Top 40 hits for Chapin and remains his only Top 10 and #1 hit. The song also went to #1 in Canada and due to when it charted was Billboard’s 38th biggest song of 1975. In 1993, a version by Ugly Kid Joe peaked at #6 on the Hot 100 and at #7 in Great Britain.  

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The first lesson of philosophy is we cannot be wise about everything. We are fragments in infinity and moments in eternity; for such forked atoms to describe the universe, or the Supreme Being, must make the planets tremble with mirth.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Vol I: Caesar to Christ

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar.

The first person to beat Sugar Ray Robinson in a professional bout was Jake LaMotta, on February 5, 1943, in Detroit.  

Today’s Stumper
Match wits with Gaylon. It’s not that hard. 

When was Harry Chapin’s last appearance on a Billboard singles chart? – Answer next time!

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