The Daily Dose/Wednesday, October 28, 2020

The Daily Dose/October 28, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

 Leading Off is enjoying some PTO.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest MPG figure for the new ride.   

I have some zero clue what the deal is and regular readers of this crap have spotted the trend: the new ride’s MPG is going down harder than a whore with the fleet in.

Editor’s Note: we’ve reached the end of Backstairs at the Monte Carlo. The last entry was yesterday. We hope you enjoyed it. Chapters from Gaylon’s classic novel The Regular Guys will begin shortly. 

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 9: The countdown to 0-16 is on as the Jets (still) set the pace in the quest for The Dan Henning Trophy. The Bottom Ten is with our compliments this year.

1. New York Jets (0-7; lost to Buffalo 18-10) – Jets looking inward this week to see if they have what it takes to harness momentum from 0-7 start into really big road loss to defending Super Bowl champions…Jets 65th NFL team to start season 0-7…Next Loss: at Kansas City 

On This Date
The long march to today.

In 1919 – The Volstead Act – legislation to implement the 18th Amendment establishing Prohibition in the US –  is ratified when Congress completes overriding President Woodrow Wilson’s veto. The 18th Amendment had been ratified the previous January and the Volstead Act would take effect in January 1920. Both would be nullified with the passage of the 21st Amendment in 1933. 

In 1981 – George Frazier of the New York Yankees becomes the first pitcher to lose three games in a non-fixed World Series in a 9-2 loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers in Game 6. Frazier gave up three runs in the fifth inning and earlier in the series had also lost games three and four. The other pitcher to lose three games in one World Series was Lefty Williams of the Chicago White Sox in 1919, who was part of the Black Sox Scandal and was trying to lose his games.  

In 1972 – Chuck Berry is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second and final week with My Ding-a-Ling. The song also went to #1 in Ireland, Canada and Great Britain and peaked at #42 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was Berry’s sixth and final Top 10 hit and remains his only #1 song. A rather crude, sophomoric novelty song, the lyrics were written by Dave Bartholemew and with the tune based on a 19th-century folk song called Little Brown Jug. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Why should a man be in love with his fetters, though of gold?
Francis Bacon

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Country star Bill Anderson’s biggest hit on Billboard’s Hot 100 was Still, which hit #8 in 1963.

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many #1 songs did Chuck Berry have on Billboard’s soul chart? – Answer next time!


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The Diary of a Nobody/October 27

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The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 9

Fabulous news. The Bottom Ten is free this year. 

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 9
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Like few other times in recent history, Bottom Ten fan(s) everywhere have a lot on their plates as the race for The Dan Henning trophy – the most coveted trophy in sports –  approaches the half-way mark. 

First, they are preparing for a possible 0-16 run by the Jets. Second, you will forgive them for being emotional over the return of both the Jaguars and the Bengals to their natural habitat, the Bottom Ten medal stand, with both looking to shed “worst team never to win Bottom Ten title” moniker.  

This week’s mess as the nags plod up the backstretch: 

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The Daily Dose/Tuesday, October 27, 2020

The Daily Dose/October 27, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

 Leading Off is taking some PTO. Like fruit flies, it will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow watches a Haitian walk in snow for the first time.   

I watched him walk outside and there wasn’t any hesitation at all, he walked out from under the Porte-cochere and walked on it a bit before lighting up a smoke…He was hardly dressed for winter – up here, at least, maybe in Haiti – so hopefully he’ll get some warmer stuff. 

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon gets promoted.

Made it. 

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 9: ggggg

3. Kansas (0-5; lost to Kansas State 55-14)
Mitigating Factors: Jayhawks never in this one, as Total Team Effort (TTE) see team trailing 20-0 before defense even gives up a touchdown…With 9th-straight loss, Jayhawks retain Interim Continental Cup – issued to team with longest losing streak amongst teams that have actually played a game…B-10 pollsters “strongly suspect” Jayhawks will lose trophy once MAC begins play this week.
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is Bottom Ten Glory: Jayhawks 0-5 for first time since revered 2015 squad won B-10 title by starting, ending season 0-12..
Next Loss: Iowa State

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On This Date
The long march to today.

In 1981 – Soviet diesel submarine S-363 runs aground on a submerged rock in the Baltic Sea off the southern coast of Sweden. While being interrogated, S-363’s captain claimed navigational system failure had caused the submarine to veer off course, though navigating where they required precise handling and could not be gained by happenstance. The submarine was pulled off the rocks and delivered back to the Soviets on November 5. 

In 2004 – The Boston Red Sox win their first World Series since 1918, defeating the St Louis Cardinals 3-0 in Game 4. The Red Sox got a run in the first inning and two more in the third and four pitchers combined for a 4-hit shutout. The Red Sox had lost the World Series in 1946, 1967, 1975 and 1986 and this was the first World Series game where a full lunar eclipse was visible. 

In 1962 – Bill Anderson is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Sides chart – for the first of seven non-consecutive weeks with Mama Sang a Song. It was the first of seven #1 country songs for Anderson, and his fourth of 37 country Top 10 hits and the song also peaked at #89 on the Hot 100. This was the final edition of the Hot Country Sides chart, the survey becoming known as the Hot Country Singles chart the following week. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The first NHL player to have 1,000 points in a career was Gordie Howe of the Detroit Red Wings, who reached the mark in November 1960.

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What was Bill Anderson’s biggest hit on the Hot 100? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/October 26

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Monday, October 26
Despite having a lousy shift, Amy left me some pizza tonight…It was a white pizza with some chicken and whatnot and while that’s hardly my go-to choice, it’s free and it’s pretty good, both traits right up my alley…She had a bit more than half left and rather than waste it on her sister she decided to give ol’ Sparrow an opportunity to have some…She even invited me to take as much as I wanted, tho I only took a couple of slices. 

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The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 9

The Bottom Ten is free this year.

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 9
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy 

With Louisiana-Monroe fixin’ to run the table, Vanderbilt returning this week and Rice back – not to mention the MAC kicking off this week – the race for the ESPNCup – symbolic of NCAA Bottom Ten supremacy – might well be the tightest ever. 

And welcome back to the Big Ten! After sensibly deciding to expose their players to whatever long-term health problems COVID offers, conference shows commitment to Bottom Ten excellence by placing no less than three (3) teams in Week 9 survey. 

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Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/October 26

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The Daily Dose/Monday, October 26, 2020

The Daily Dose/October 26, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around our human experience. 

Leading Off is in time out.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow elects not to share his coffee line with a guest.  

Because morning coffee service wasn’t up I’d asked if he wanted me to get the creamer out and he looked at me as if I’d asked him he wanted to dance, announcing he was “a black guy” which almost led me to trot out my coffee line on him…It’s tasteless and not appropriate for work in any circumstances, so I didn’t, but it did come to mind and bring a smile. 

In the navy whenever someone went on a coffee run coffee was ordered black, blonde, bitter or sweet, depending on whether you wanted it with or without cream or with or without sugar…For example, a black cup of joe was black and bitter and one with cream and sugar was blonde and sweet and the joke was “I take my coffee like I take my women: black and bitter” or however you took your coffee and women…It’s great fun…Or was, om an old diesel submarine, though I’ve learned over the years that that is the only place it is found funny, so I tend to keep the line to myself. 

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Radtke has news on the dating front. 

The good news is his new woman, Natalie, consented to a date with him; the bad news is that she’s moving to swing shift next week. Radtke was initially devastated by this, but I told him that for the working bachelor this is probably ideal. I mean, when things invariably go south you don’t want the distraction of running into her at work every effing day. Besides, they still have the same days off, so it will probably all work out. 

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On This Date
The long march to today.

In 1999 – Great Britain’s House of Lords passes an act that removes several hundred members who had inherited their seats. Known as the House of Lords Act of 1999, it reduced membership in the chamber by about half and members today are appointed by the queen, except for those entitled to membership by official function, for example, certain archbishops and bishops of the Church of England. The act was given royal assent by Queen Elizabeth II in November. 

In 1990 – Wayne Gretzky of the Los Angeles Kings becomes the first NHL player to accumulate 2,000 points in a 6-2 loss to the Winnipeg Jets. Gretzky had an assist on a first-period goal by Tomas Sandstrom, giving him 1,316 assists to complement his 684 goals. Gretzky would retire in 1999 with 2,857 career points, a record that still stands. 

In 1996 – Los Del Rios is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the 13th of 14 consecutive weeks with Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix). The song also went to #1 in ten other countries and also peaked at #2 in Great Britain. The song was Billboard’s biggest song of the year, their second biggest of the decade and ranked 8th on Billboard’s 60th Anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. In September, a different version of the song by the group had peaked at #23 on the Hot 100 and in fact, was still in the survey, at #41 and research into other times the same act has had different versions of the same song in the same survey was inconclusive. 

Some Philosophy Crap
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

To think without having first learned is dangerous.
Gore Vidal
Creation

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The last American city to host the Pan American Games was Indianapolis, in 1987. Chicago was the other American city to host them, in 1959.  

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Who was the first NHL player to have 1,000 points in a career? – Answer next time!

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The Diary of a Nobody/October 25

Today is the final day of Read Free Fortnight. 

Meet Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Sunday, October 25
It’s Assistant Front Desk Manager Q in a landslide in the reward club sign-up race for the month…Here are the latest figures: 

Q: 62
Front Desk Manager Brandon: 22
Amy: 19

This isn’t even a contest anymore and Amy didn’t even bring the matter up when I reported for duty tonight…Of course, I didn’t either, out of respect. 

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Backstairs at the Monte Carlo/October 25

October 25
Unsure of what my assignment would be, I brought everything last night: both pairs of shoes, inside and outside undershirts, the whole nine yards. I was in the changing room preparing to work inside when Radtke pops in and says I’m at Eddie 1. 

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