The Daily Dose/June 11, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
As noted below, today is the 243rd anniversary of the Continental Congress appointing a committee to write what would become the Declaration of Independence. All five are certified Founding Fathers and while two are generally remembered only by the most persistent history buffs, the other three are living down the ages. As we have before here, we found ourselves wondering what the members of the Committee of Five might think of the country they helped found.

Roger Sherman, who favored allowing the federal government to raise money and regulate commerce, would probably be shell shocked at exactly how much money the government raises and how much they regulate business in our country.

Robert Livingston, respectfully known as the Chancellor, was the minister to France who negotiated the Louisiana Purchase and it is probably not a stretch to say he might well be appalled at how much his country now interferes in the affairs of other countries.

Benjamin Franklin would marvel at the airplane and, immediately upon arrival in first class, would order champagne and flirt with your wives and, as likely as not, your daughters. It is unlikely he would be surprised at our technological advancements and he would be impressed with every one of them.

Thomas Jefferson would be glad, relieved, to see the slavery he abhorred but did absolutely nothing to eliminate – either on his plantation or in his country – abolished. Always a fan of exploration, Jefferson would delight at the pictures his fellow humans took on the moon.

John Adams, who once said democracies eventually “exhaust” and “murder” themselves, would in no way, shape or form be surprised to see America within a generation or two of self-destruction.

All would wonder at, but perhaps not be surprised by, the inept, partisan and bickering government we have now. They would wonder because they had the courage to shed a government they found intolerable and would wonder why you and I – we the people – didn’t have similar courage. Smart men with insights into human nature, they wouldn’t be particularly surprised, though, because they knew us humans have a tough time shedding the familiar, even when the familiar is not serving us particularly well. All five would also tell us that a better government is there for the taking and would encourage, and probably demand, we take advantage of the regular elections they provided for us. They would tell us the solution to our country’s problems looks us in the mirror every morning: concerned and conscientious citizens wanting better for their country, just like they did.

They would realize, like we should, that America cannot continue with perpetual war and mindless spending with impunity. Eventually, perhaps before this half-century is out, it will destroy us.

The solution is you and me – we the people – demanding better government on Election Day. It starts with you and starts with me and it starts in 2020. America’s next Founding Fathers – you and me, we the people – look us in the mirror every morning.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow deals with a guest whose credit card was declined at check-in. Today’s Diary.

…he came in about 0030 and he was surprised the card was declined because it was a company card and he works for a pretty big company, too, one you would think pays its bills…I swiped the actual card, on the off chance an incorrect number was entered when the reservation was made, but no go, it was still declined…He offered a personal card for the first night, until he could talk to the bastards at corporate…

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

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On This Date
In 1776 – The Second Continental Congress, meeting in Philadelphia, appoints five members to a committee to draft a document announcing they were separating from Great Britain. The members of the committee were Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, Roger Sherman, Robert Livingston and Thomas Jefferson. Known to History as the Committee of Five, everyone but Jefferson was content to leave the writing of what would become the Declaration of Independence to Jefferson, who had a first draft ready by June 28.

In 1919 – Sir Barton, ridden by Johnny Loftus, becomes the first horse to win what is now known as the Triple Crown, winning the Belmont Stakes in 2 minutes, 17.4 seconds for what was then a 1⅜ mile race. On May 10 Sir Barton won the Kentucky Derby and four days later won the Preakness. In between the Preakness and the Belmont stakes he won the Withers Stakes at Aqueduct in New York City. The term Triple Crown would not come into general usage until the 1920s and since Sir Barton, twelve other horses have won the Triple Crown, most recently by Justify in 2018.

In 1966 – The Rolling Stones are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with Paint It Black. The song also went to #1 in Great Britain, Canada and the Netherlands, where it also went to #1 again in 1990. It was the third #1 song for the Stones in the US and their sixth #1 in their native Britain. It was also the first #1 song to feature the sitar, played by Brian Jones. The Stones were followed at #1 by the Beatles and Frank Sinatra, marking the only time chart history three of the biggest acts in chart history appeared at #1 consecutively.

Quotebook
Every man is free to do that which he wills, provided he infringes not on the equal freedom of any other man.
Herbert Spencer

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
James Earl Ray was arrested for the murder of Martin Luther King, Jr at Heathrow Airport in London.

Today’s Stumper
Who was the second horse to win the Triple Crown? – Answer next time!

The Daily Dose/June 9, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom V

1. Astrology 101 – Showing visionary leadership we’ve become accustomed to, President Trump, shunning thousands of years of astrological beliefs, announces moon is part of Mars.
2. Yeah, Well, You Know –  Either President Trump knew the moon is not part of Mars or he did not know moon is not part of Mars…Sort of like whether or not we are the only life in the universe, either prospect is scary.
3. Did Know – If he did know, this proves our theory that our president’s only real talent is drawing attention to himself…Facts, truth, whatever, the world is talking about him, which is all that matters in Trumpville.
4. Didn’t Know – If he didn’t know, good gravy, how does anyone other than a complete idiot – which Trump is not – not know the moon and Mars are, at their very closest, 34 million miles apart?
5. NHL Officiating – NHL refs blowing calls left and right this postseason, as that trip by that St Louis Blues player could not have been more obvious had he announced his intention ahead of time…Earlier, blatant blow to head by another St Louis player not found to be infraction of the rules, though league office later suspended player for one game.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest from the hotel, including the latest on the MOD keys, and he has a very good workout. Today’s Diary.

I was useful when I got home, too…The Wife has Saturday’s off and she was off hiking with some friends and when she returned to The Shire the dishes were done and to show I’d completely lost my mind had even thrown out the trash, which I usually only do by request.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply does not stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

On This Date
In 1959 – The United States Navy’s first ballistic missile submarine, the nuclear powered USS George Washington, is launched in Groton, CT. After sea trials, it would be commissioned in December and would serve until decommissioning in January 1985. It was originally scheduled to be the attack submarine USS Scorpion. It was the third Navy ship named after George Washington. A fourth George Washington, an aircraft carrier, is currently in service.

In 1973 – Secretariat, ridden by Ron Turcotte, wins the Triple Crown, winning the Belmont Stakes by 31 lengths in a record time of  2 minutes 24 seconds, a record that still stands. Secretariat was the eight Triple Crown winner and the first since Citation in 1948. Secretariat continued to race after the Belmont, winning four of his last six races, and died in 1989.

In 1962 – Ray Charles is at #1 on both Billboard’s Hot 100 (second of five weeks) and soul chart (third of ten weeks) with I Can’t Stop Loving You. The song was also in its third of ten weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart and also went to #1 in Great Britain and Australia and was Billboard’s second biggest song of 1962. I Can’t Stop Loving You was Charles’ third #1 song on the Hot 100 and his ninth #1 on the soul chart. Charles and Willie Nelson also had a #1 song on the country chart (Seven Spanish Angels, 1985), making Charles one of the few artists to have #1 songs on all three major Billboard charts

Quotebook
…they decided that to eat state corn in the city was better than to sweat on the land…Sloth combined with superstition…Wealth mounted, but did not spread.
Will Durant
The Story of Civilization, Volume III: Caesar to Christ

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Constitutional amendment still pending before the states is known as the Congressional Apportionment Amendment, which addresses the number of seats in the House of Representatives. The last to ratify it was Kentucky in 1792.

Today’s Stumper
Who was the first person to have #1 songs on Billboard’s pop, country and soul charts? – Answer next time!

The Daily Dose/June 8, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
We were going to offer our second installment in our thrilling series on the impeachment of American presidents today, but President Trump’s witless blather about the moon being part of Mars was too juicy to pass up. Here’s the exact quote, from a tweet Friday morning: 

For all of the money we are spending, NASA should NOT be talking about going to the Moon – We did that 50 years ago. They should be focused on the much bigger things we are doing, including Mars (of which the Moon is a part), Defense and Science!

Forget anything drummed up by the Mueller Report, Trump should be impeached for this breathtaking lack of knowledge alone. Good gravy, how do you navigate 70+ years on this planet without knowing that Mr Moon is in no way, shape, or form part of Mars?

We’ll tell you how: you have a complete and utter disinterest in anything other than yourself. This is not surprising in Trump’s case: for virtually his entire public life the only talent he has regularly displayed is an awe-inspiring one for attracting attention to himself. It appears to be the only thing he is really good at and he doesn’t much care about anything else. 

Let me ask you this: how long have you known Mr Moon is not, has never been, a part of the Martian Planetary System? We’ve known since we were five, though it should be noted crap like this has always interested us. On the first day of school, the first book we opened was our science book, to see what the latest news on Saturn was. Now, five, perhaps, is a bit young to know this, but is not, however, unreasonable to expect middle schoolers to know the moon is not part of Mars.

As sometimes happens with Trump, his blather hid a relevant point: we should not bother returning to the moon. We did it 50 years ago and while modern technology might yield new information, unmanned probes can find it. There is no reason to send men and women there again. 

Long-time readers of ours know we feel America could have had humans on Mars in the 1980s if we had wanted to. We didn’t, though, but that does not mean we can’t start now. Maybe we could send Mr Trump, so he can get a first-hand look at how far apart the moon and Mars really are.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Brad pronounces the Sparrow’s pull-out couch as almost unsleepable and Sparrow lays the hammer down at the VSO. Today’s Diary.

I don’t even know that he’s a veteran and, two, if you come to town without a place to stay arranged, don’t be surprised if I am unwilling and unable to move mountains to find you a place to stay…It’s too cold up here for there to be homeless people and there are absolutely zero support services for them…I eventually had to tell him I had nothing for him, which sounds cruel but sometimes you have to be firm…If you’re a softie here the next thing you know he’s staying with you…Then he asked if I was available this weekend – for up-to-the-minute lodging updates I imagine – and I said no and I guess he got the message that I was not the go-to guy for homeless weekend getaways and he rang off. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The drivel simply does not stop: please click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future.

On This Date
In 1789 – What eventually become the Bill of Rights are introduced in the United States House as twelve amendments to the Constitution. The House approved them in August and sent them to the Senate, who got snitty and made some changes. Eventually, a joint conference committee made changes that both houses approved and they were sent to the several states on September 28. Ten would be ratified in December 1791 and would become the Bill of Rights. Another, now the 27th Amendment, was approved in 1991 and the twelfth, never given a deadline for ratification, is technically still pending, now requiring 27 more states for ratification.

In 1986 – The Boston Celtics win the NBA title defeating the Houston Rockets 114-97 in Game 6 of the NBA Finals. It’s the Celtics 16th NBA title, extending their record, their second in three years and third in the last six years. They would win their 17th in 2008, still one better than the Los Angeles Lakers’ 16 NBA titles.

In 1963 – Lesley Gore is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the second and final week with It’s My Party. The song also went to #1 in New Zealand and Australia and the following week It’s My Party began a stretch of three consecutive weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was Gore’s first chart single and she would follow that with three more Top 10 hits and seven other Top 40 hits. It’s My Party was also the first chart single for its producer Quincy Jones.

Quotebook
Hay had long known it was good politics never to to try to have the last word in a dispute; now he had begun to see the wisdom of not trying to have the first word, either.
Gore Vidal
Empire

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Philadelphia – now Golden State – Warriors, the New York Knicks and the Boston Celtics are the charter members of the Basketball Association of America that are still in the NBA.

Today’s Stumper
What is the Amendment that is still pending before the states, and which was the last state to ratify it? – Answer next time!