Friends, The Daily Dose will return.

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The Daily Dose/August 28, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
There was a time when the recent shooting at a video game competition in Florida would have been big news, however with only two dead, three counting the shooter, it really didn’t really register on our collective radar like a real mass shooting would have. It did cause some waves in Florida election campaigns, but otherwise, the usual people are not saying the usual things.

We are, though.

We’ve long said, both as a columnist and a candidate for the United States Senate and House, that we have a violent world and violent American citizens because we have a violent United States government. America has been at war daily for almost 30 years and these are the consequences.  If America had been at peace for the past 30 years there is no way our country is suffering from shootings on the scale we are now. There would be few because you are always going to have malcontents looking to cause misery, but our country would not be the shooting gallery it is now.

People on both sides of the gun control issue generally trot out the Second Amendment in times like these, but let’s be honest, we are not going to have a peaceful world or peaceful American citizens without a peaceful American government.

Today At The Site
It’s a slow night at the retailer and Sparrow has a wife calling about her husband at the hotel on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Plus, Sparrow talks a bit about Pa Sparrow, plus there is the latest from the Sleep Log.

And it is back! The Bottom Ten debuts for 2018 with The Bottom Ten NCAA/Week 1 survey. Can UTEP repeat? Can preseason #1 Charlotte go the distance? Will Duke ever return to the heights that made then the Bottom Ten Team of the Decade for the Double Aughts? We don’t know either, but there are lots of laffs in the nonsense that is The Bottom Ten.

The Thought for the Day will return.

On This Date
In 1963 – The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr delivers his I Have A Dream speech in Washington, D.C. at the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. It was not the first I have a dream speech King had delivered. He had delivered one in 1962 at a high school in North Carolina and earlier in 1963 in a speech in Detroit.

In 2014 – Yusmeiro Petit of the San Francisco Giants strikes out Charlie Culberson of the Arizona Diamondbacks, the 46th consecutive batter he had retired, a new major league record. The old record of 45 had been set by Mark Buehrle of the Chicago White Sox in 2009.

In 1954 – The Crew Cuts are at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the fourth of seven weeks with Sh-Boom. The Crew Cuts were a Canadian quartet whose members met while singing in a choir as boys in Toronto. They would have their second and last #1 the following year with Earth Angel. 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
On June 25, 1976 Toby Harrah of the Texas Rangers became the only shortstop in major league history to play an entire doubleheader and not get a single fielding chance.

Today’s Stumper
How many times did Martin Luther King, Jr say “I have a dream” in his I Have a Dream speech? – Answer next time!

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass. 

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The Daily Dose/August 27, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
Friends, in a transparent attempt to make subscribers out of you, it is our pleasure to announce that today marks the beginning of Read Free Week here at the site.

Now this feature and The Thought for the Day are free anyway, but the stuff we do charge for, The Diary of a Nobody, The Bottom Ten plus our books The Regular Guys and Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir are free of charge this week.

We even have a special subscription offer for you: $29.99 for a lifetime subscription. We are not making that up! $29.99 is $20 less than a yearly subscription. Act this week though, because this offer ends Sunday.  Click here to take advantage.

Editor’s Note: Gaylon’s latest book, We The People: Making America America Again is not included in Read Free Week because it is also a fundraiser for Gaylon’s Congressional Campaign. It is included in all subscriptions, of course, as are all of Gaylon’s future books, like the forthcoming classic Criminals, Courtesans and Constables.

Today At The Site
Well, Sparrow’s tooth finally comes out on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, Rajib shows up on time for work, Sparrow has a really funny line at the retailer and matters are a complete mess at Hotel B.

J.R.R. Tolkien has The Thought for the Day, some drivel about casting treasures aside that really hits home today.

On This Date
In 1896 –  The shortest war in history is fought when Great Britain defeats Zanzibar in the Anglo-Zanzibar War. At 9:02am elements of the British navy began bombarding a palace on the island of Zanzibar and the battle also included a skirmish in the harbor that featured the sinking of a Zanzibari yacht. A cease-fire was declared at 9:40am, 38 minutes after the battle started.

In 1977 – Bump Wills and Toby Harrah of the Texas Rangers hit inside-the-park home runs on consecutive pitches as the Rangers defeat the New York Yankees 8-2. It remains the only time in major league history this has been accomplished.

In 1966 – The Lovin’ Spoonful is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the third and final week with Summer in the City. It was their first and only #1 song in the US, and came after their previous two singles, Daydream and Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind peaked at #2. The song also went to #1 in Canada and Finland.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
 US private sector union membership peaked in 1954, at about 34.8 percent. It is now about 7.4 percent.

Today’s Stumper
Toby Harrah was also involved in one other feat that has been accomplished only once in big league history. Name it. – Answer next time!

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass. 

Share Gaylon! Go!

The Daily Dose/August 26, 2018
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

In The News
United States Senator Bernie Sanders of New Hampshire proposed this week that companies that employ over 500 people pay dollar for dollar for whatever federal charity their employees receive. This follows a report that some Amazon employees are receiving government assistance. Similar reports have been issued about Walmart and both are amongst the world’s most profitable companies.

Wages are the only part of the American economy that are not strong right now. This is not an employer’s fault because, as has been the case since time immemorial, employers will not pay anymore for labor than their employees force them to pay.

We have street cred in this matter. We punch a clock for upwards of 65 hours a week and right now the American worker is, by and large, content to take what the boss offers. Part of this, of course, is due to the decline of the private sector union, but I’ve noticed no great groundswell to improve wages, even amongst me.

(While we would not dismiss out of hand the prospect of earning a living writing, we will add philosophically that having an income independent of writing means we can say what we feel needs to be said every time we ply this trade, a writer’s great prize.)

Working anywhere – Amazon, Walmart, your aunt’s bakery – is employment, not indentured servitude. We are all free to decide how much we want to make, identify jobs that pay that and then put the work in required to get that job.

As soon as workers start demanding better, gainfully employed workers will no longer need federal charity.

Today At The Site
Despite the fact the new temporary GM at the hotel lives five feet from the front desk, Sparrow is relieved 20 minutes late on today’s edition of The Diary of a Nobody. Also, Sparrow and The Wife have had the cat for seven years and in celebration of that, the cat no longer is demanding her morning yummy ration when Sparrow comes home from work.

John Locke, a smart and practical man, has The Thought for the Day. Locke’s influence on, among others, our Founding Fathers, was profound, and today’s quote talks about suffering and resistance.

On This Date
In 2009 – Jaycee Dugard, missing since 1991 and now 29-years-old, reappears alive when she appears with her kidnapper John Garrido at the office Garrido’s parole agent. Initially, Dugard claims to be a battered wife from Minnesota, though she later admits the truth.

In 1912 – Owen Wilson of the Pittsburgh Pirates hits three triples in a doubleheader against the Boston Braves, his 30th, 31st and 32nd triples of the season, establishing a new major league record that had been held by Dave Orr (1886, New York Metropolitans, American Association) and Heinie Reitz, 1894, Baltimore Orioles, National League). The game was played at Forbes Field, a haven for triples, and virtually every significant ML triples record is held by someone who played with the Pirates of that era. The record still stands.

In 1972 – After four weeks at #2, Looking Glass is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for its only week with Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl). Though not an ultimate one-hit wonder, an act whose only Top 40 hit goes to #1, Looking Glass only hit the Top 40 one other time with a song that went to #33. The song’s social impact was moderate, as Brandy went from the 353rd most popular girl’s name in 1971, to the 140th in 1972 to the 82nd in 1973.

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
The Billboard R&B/Soul chart debuted in 1942 as the Harlem Hit Parade. It is now known as the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart.

Today’s Stumper
When was American private sector union membership highest and what is it now? – Answer next time!

Shameless Plugs
Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: A Vegas Memoir!: Clock in with the graveyard crew at the Monte Carlo Security Department on the glamorous Las Vegas Strip. You’ll meet drunks, reprobates and scoundrels, and those are just the officers! The funniest Vegas memoir ever! Promise!

The Regular Guys: Meet Lenny and Larry, two comedians who team up more or less out of desperation and become the biggest in show business. As funny as you would expect from Gaylon, and poignant, too.

Click here to read previews of both!
Click here to subscribe and get your all-access pass. 

Share Gaylon! Go!