The Daily Dose – February 20, 2017
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The Daily Dose – February 20, 2017
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
FREDERICK DOUGLASS WAS BEHIND THE SWEDEN ATTACKS, TOO: Before the last presidential election we said that Donald Trump was an embarrassment as a candidate and it was reasonable to presume he would be an embarrassment as president. As any employer knows, the best indicator of future performance is past performance.
Told You So: We were right. After a month President Trump – President Trump! – is presiding over a government that is as chaotic as it is embarrassing. They’ve declared war on everything and everyone and soon they will declare war on themselves because it’s difficult to believe the chaos inside the White House isn’t as strong as the chaos outside.
Bowling Green: Never Forget: Also, they are lying at a rate that would draw applause from the Nixon Administration.
Fly In The Ointment: The consequences of this are, and will continue to be, profound, both domestically and internationally.
Leading Off: Domestically, it means nothing of substance is going to get done. None of the issues that will destroy this country before this half-century is out – including our perpetual wars and the fact we are functionally broke and $20 trillion in debt – are going to be addressed. America will spend the next four years marking time when we could have been making progress on ensuring the long-term prosperity of our country.
And In This Corner: Internationally, it will speed up the end of America as the world’s only superpower.
For decades other nations looked to America for leadership, and this transcended partisan politics. Regardless of who was in power, America was an example for the rest of the world.
F*ck That Noise: No more. Those days are passing quicker than a bad meal. With nobody leading America, there is not an America to lead the world. America is defaulting on its collective responsibility to its citizens and the rest of the planet at a time when we could be setting the pace for peace and prosperity. America, however, with the full consent of its citizens, is taking a pass on peace and prosperity.
Dry, Technical Matter: We’ve said this before here: we thought a Trump defeat last November would spell the end of the Republican Party. Now his victory just might do that. It is difficult to believe the GOP members of the House and Senate will remain a part of this fiasco for long.
The Bottom Line: We don’t think Trump cares about any of this. He is the most talked about human on the planet and we suspect this is all that’s important to him.
WE DELIVER FOR YOU: The United States Postal Service is established on this date in 1792 when President George Washington signs the Postal Act of 1792.
Officially known as An Act to Establish the Post-Office and Post Roads within the United States, the Act details dozens of postal road routes and other exciting measures, such as an annual salary of $2,000 for the postmaster general and an annual salary of $1,000 for his assistant.
Dry, Technical Matter: $2,000 in 1792 is worth a bit less than $50,000 today.
Oh, Jesus H: Today, Postmaster General Megan Brennan earns a salary of $286,840.
3…2…1…Blastoff: John Glenn becomes the first American to orbit the earth on this date in 1962. Flying abord Friendship 7, Glenn orbited earth three times in just under five hours. Glenn would return to space in 1998, at the age of 77, aboard the space shuttle Discovery.
FunFact: Glenn was the second human to orbit the earth, following Yuri Gagarin of the Soviet Union, who orbited the earth once on man’s first space flight in April 1961.
Whoops, Our Bad: The Emergency Broadcast System is accidently activated on this date in 1971, causing confusion nationwide.
WTF??? A recording of this event as it occurred on WOWO-AM, Fort Wayne, Indiana, makes for interesting listening. After interrupting The Partridge Family’s Doesn’t Somebody Want To Be Wanted, announcer Bob Sievers comes on the air to say they are interrupting their regularly scheduled programing at the request of the United States government.
Sievers, however, is not entirely sure what the emergency is:
At this point, at the microphone, I know of nothing to cause this…
Can Someone Cue Up A Three Dog Night Song For Me?: It is plain Sievers has some zero clue what is going on, but he does an admirable job of winging it.
We are endeavoring to find out ourselves…We’ve received this emergency action notification with the proper identification indicating a national emergency…
There wasn’t, however, anything to cause the activation of the Emergency Broadcast System. What happened was an operator in the Air Force put the wrong message on a tape, a message that included the code word to indicate there was a real, live emergency and everyone within the sound of Bob Sievers voice should prepare to kiss their ass goodbye.
Whew: In the end, after about 40 minutes, Sievers was able to report to his listeners that the whole affair was a mistake, properly blamed it on those Air Force misfits, and resumed regular WOWO programing.
Thought For The Day: I will get ready, and then, perhaps, my time will come. – John Wooden
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: There was not a Trivia feature last time.
Today’s Stumper: Following both his spaceflights, John Glenn took part in a ticker-tape parade in New York City, making one of one ten people to be honored with more than one parade. One person has been honored with three ticker tape parades. Name him or her.
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The Daily Dose – February 14, 2017
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The Daily Dose – February , 2017
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
WE GIVE UP: We tried. We tried to write every couple of days about the Trump Administration, but we couldn’t keep up.
On the one hand, sort of like Watergate, President Trump – President Trump! – has been a boon for us funny writers. From border walls to Frederick Douglass still being alive to the Bowling Green Massacre to ridiculing federal judges to whatever fiasco makes news today, there is a lot of raw materials to work with.
We All Have Our Memories: Trump believing Frederick Douglass was still alive is our personal favorite and we refuse to believe there aren’t some Trump staffers who privately believe Douglass instigated the Bowling Green Massacre.
Back On Message: So we’re throwing in the towel on writing about the day-in, day-out shenanigans of the Trump Administration.
The Big Picture: Instead, let’s take a big-picture look at what President Trump – President Trump – will mean for our country during his term.
Gaylon For Congress, Vote Early, Vote Often: We’ve said this before while running for both the US Senate and US House:
This nation will collapse before this half-century is out if we do not make substantive changes to the way we are governed.
There are a couple of factors that will destroy us.
One, we must have an America at peace. We have been at war every day since 1989 and no nation can sustain perpetual warfare.
Two, America is functionally broke. We are $20 trillion in debt, with an economy anchored in high taxes and excessive regulation. This nation will not flourish financially until we have an economy anchored in low taxes and free markets.
The Bottom Line: President Trump – President Trump – has given no indication he is going to do anything to stem either of these tides and the next four years will be spent marking time, not making any substantive progress. America will be four years closer to being tossed aside the scrap heap of history because last November we collectively declined to make substantive changes to the way we are governed. As usual, we had our chance at the ballot box but we just reaffirmed the status quo, electing as president a man whose only real talent is drawing attention to himself.
USA! USA!: The American flag is formally recognized by a foreign navy for the first time when the French fleet issues a nine gun salute to the USS Ranger off the coast of southern France on this date in 1778.
The Ranger was commanded by John Paul Jones and had been dispatched to France to inform US envoy Benjamin Franklin of the American victory over the British at Saratoga.
The Race To Live Down The Ages: Alexander Graham Bell and Elisha Gray both file paperwork to patent the telephone on this date in 1876.
Dry, Technical Matter: Bell filed an actual patent application, while Gray filed a caveat, which was a notice of intent to file an application at a later date.
FunFact: Patent caveats were done away with in 1910.
Back On Message: A complete examination of this episode is, thankfully, beyond the scope of this column. Gray, however, declined to follow through on his caveat, though this didn’t stop him from challenging Bell’s patent in court. Gray lost these battles, however, and History records Bell as the inventor of the telephone.
Diesel Boats Forever: The US Navy commissions its first two diesel submarines on this date in 1912. Previous American submarines had utilized gasoline engines. The USS E-1 and E-2 would primarily be used for tactics and equipment evaluation and both were decommissioned in 1920.
Dry, Technical Matter: The diesel boat era would last until October 30, 1990 when the USS Blueback (SS-581) was decommissioned.
A Warm, Personal Remembrance: We served on the Blueback. In memory of that, we still refuse to wash our coffee cup.
Thought For The Day: You yourselves have made these men great by giving them your support and that is why you have fallen into evil slavery. For you look to the tongue and the words of a crafty man, and you do not see the deed which is being done.– Gore Vidal, Creation
Answer To The Last Trivia Question: The International League, founded in 1884, is the second oldest professional baseball league in the United States.
Today’s Stumper: The Trivia feature will return. Be cool.
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