The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 19

This week’s NFL Bottom Ten is with the compliments of the Bottom Ten pollsters. Enjoy.

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 19
By Gaylon KentAmerica’s Funniest Guy™ 

Showing that midseason coaching changes can show end-of-season Bottom Ten results, the Jacksonville Jaguars continue to show the way in the race for the most coveted trophy in sports, The Dan Henning trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy. 

Still though, veteran Bottom Ten fan(s) know the race for coveted spots on the Bottom Ten medal stand remains wide open and will come down to the final false starts, dropped passes and clutch turnovers of the season. 

This week’s fiasco as the nags stumble across the sixteenth pole: 

1. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-14; lost to New England 50-10) – Owner Genghis Khan all smiles as team on verge of second straight B-10 title…Still though, staff members keeping swords sharp for mandatory beheadings should Jaguars win finale…Next Loss: Indianapolis

2. Detroit Lions (2-13-1; lost to Seattle 51-29) – Lions solidify B-10 runner-up spot with requisite blowout road loss…B-10 pollsters remain “pretty sure” they still have “like, dude, no idea” how tie will factor into final B-10 rankings…Next Loss: Green Bay

3. New York Giants (4-12; lost to Chicago 29-3) – Giants take charge of final spot on B-10 medal stand with decisive loss in B-10 Game of the Week…Giants in lead over Jets for Ed Koch Kup – symbolic of Big Apple NFL incompetence – by virtue of current, hot, five (5)-game losing skid…Next Loss: Washington

4. New York Jets (4-12; lost to Tampa Bay 28-24) – Jets chasing Giants in race for Ed Koch Kup – symbolic of Big Apple NFL incompetence – due to their glimmer of hope for future being somewhat brighter than Giants…Next Loss: at Buffalo

5. Carolina Panthers (5-11; lost to New Orleans 18-10) – Despite relatively high win total for B-10 teams, Panthers showing strong finishing kick as current, hot six (6)-game skid good for second-best in league…Panthers have lost eleven (11) of 13 (13) after demoralizing three (3)-game win streak to open season…Next Loss: at Tampa Bay

6. NFC North (28-35) – In tightest weekly voting ever for Pete Rozelle Award – issued to NFL’s worst division – NFC North gets nod over AFC South due to having three (3) teams below .500, megalomaniac Aaron Rogers in division.

7. NFL Overtime – Hey guys, it’s the 3rd decade of the 21st century, every NFL game should have a winner…Since they don’t, should Jaguars win Sunday (yeah, right) both Raiders and Chargers can make playoffs with a tie instead of one being out with a loss, which is something you don’t even see in rec league flag football. 

8. Houston Texans (4-12; lost to San Francisco 23-7) – Once and future B-10 darlings back on losing schneid with clutch loss to 49ers, but Texans need big help for once taken for granted, coveted, finish on B-10 medal stand…Next Loss: Tennessee

9. Washington Whatevers (6-10; lost to Philadelphia 20-16) – With new logo coming next month, B-10 pollsters considered reissuing moderately funny line about putting play diagrams on helmets instead of numbers, but decided not to…Whatevers get nod over other six (6)-win teams due to current, hot four (4)-game losing skid…Next Loss: at NY Giants

10. Baltimore Ravens (8-8; lost to LA Rams 20-19) – Ravens earn Rich Kotite Award – issued to team with longest losing streak amongst teams still, somehow, in NFL playoff hunt – with current, hot five (5)-game skid…Next Loss: Pittsburgh

This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Washington at NY Giants
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: NY Jets at Buffalo
Exciting Regional Action: Pittsburgh at Baltimore

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