The Diary of a Nobody/January 5

Today’s entry is on the house. Enjoy. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life…

Wednesday, January 5

I am not making that up…A fortnite after suspending the noting of his Cash Drawer Spreadsheet (CDSS) ink/highlighter accents because they hadn’t been changed in three months Mark – obviously choosing to start 2022 off with a bang – mixes it up using green ink to sign his name..Now, the highlighter used to accent the day, date and amounts is still pink but we’ll take what we can get and after weeks of purple and pink the change is, frankly, refreshing…Regular readers of this crap know Mark has been keeping a green pen in his box for a while now tho Lord knows why he’s waited till now to put into rotation.

If it is in rotation…Who knows???…Mark is such a maniac this could turn into something regular or be a one-and-done deal…Your guess is as good as mine. 

Tonite was the only decent nite of work of the week…The sickies weren’t debilitating, but if this were a day job, I would’ve taken some PTO…You can’t do that in the nite audit racket, tho, because Rule #1 is Show Up For Work On Time Every Nite, Dammit which means you show up unless you are either in the hospital or too delirious to drive yourself to the hospital…It’s the Nite Audit Bargain…You show up and in exchange you aren’t asked to work too hard. 

There was a moderately funny instance with the gent in 227…I was counting a drawer when he comes in the door and stands there like a general surveying an unfamiliar battlefield…You get this from time to time and it’s usually a trusty indication of a drunk: he’d just successfully negotiated automatic doors after all and needs time to get his bearings…So I ask him if I can be of service and he purses his lips and shakes his head – slowly as if it might fall off if done any faster – before announcing he’s drunk and then points to the hall that leads to the rooms.

– So you know where you’re going, sir???
– Oh yeah…

I’m skeptical and immediately put the chances of him needing further assistance at 2-to-1 and he stands there for a few seconds before heading to his room and he’s not heading to the restaurant so maybe he’ll be OK. 

Wrong-o…A few minutes later he’s back saying his key won’t work…I ask for his name, room number and an ID and he produces the first two but his ID isn’t in his wallet…That’s no big deal and I ask him what color his suitcase is because if you can ID your stuff you don’t have to be Joe Friday to conclude it’s probably your room…Heck, one time in Sin City I let a really cute 20ish girl stay in a room when she pulled a bra out of a suitcase that matched the panties she was wearing…We have options and the guy noted rather confidently his bag was black. 

– Large or small.
He looks at me significantly.
– Sorta moderate.

We get to 227 and his jacket is on the floor and I pick it up for him and his room key and passport ID card fall out and I test the original key and it works fine and he goes and he doesn’t want me to leave…He’s inviting me in to see his black, moderately sized suitcase but I beg off, pleading my inherent nite audit responsibilities (INAR) and he hates to see me go because he’s feeling sociable now but yours truly is able to break away.  

We are short of an awful lot of things for morning coffee service (MCS)…We were stealing coffee from the restaurant as recently as yesterday but a shipment came in, but we are using cups and lids bought from the retailer (they’re actually pretty good) and while creamer stocks are good we are going to run out of napkins and stirrers later today…This is bad all around because little things like this inconvenience the guest and make whoever’s at the front desk look bad, too. 

Some moderate action at the veterans service office (VSO) today, including Jerry whom regular readers of this crap know is an Army vet whose outfit all but detonated a bomb on one of those nuclear tests in Nevada in the 1950s and was rewarded with a life of cancers and other ailments…He’s been battling the VA for 13 years and we’re able to get an appeal won which meant 13 years of back pay…Last fall we filed a claim for his latest cancer that while the VA doesn’t presume was caused by his radiation exposure his civilian doctor does, his letter stating it “was 100% caused by his exposure”. 

The VA declined this claim and, of course, Jerry wants to appeal…I read the letter and decided yours truly needed help, so Jerry was advised ol’ Sparrow was going to consult those smarter than him in order to decide the best way to proceed…The only problem was my call to the regional office was not answered by a human because evidently everyone is working from home again and to be patient for a reply. 

Sparrow’s Sleep Log: Per policy, there is no sleep to report today. 

The current sleep week total (SWT) is at 23 hours and that’s a pretty good figure but don’t be fooled, sleep has been fitful and interrupted all week…It’s gotten better as the sickies have gotten better, but we’re still not sleeping normally…God bless all of you. 


The Diary of a Nobody is a novel. All elements are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Anything else is a coincidence. 

 It was inspired by the 19th-century British novel of the same name. 

 Gaylon’s books can also be found at The Reading Salon.


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