The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 14
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
They made it.
The Cleveland Browns are 0-12 and head into their bye with both the Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – and the immortality of an 0-16 season clearly in sight.
While some Cleveland fan(s) might bemoan the loss of momentum of a bye week, others say the rest from the rigors of playing twelve (12) straight NFL (NFL) games will do them well.
In other news, all eyes will be on Chicago this week, as two-thirds of the Bottom Ten medal stand meet, with the loser a shoe-in to replace Cleveland at number one for a week.
This week’s mess, as nags are at the head of the stretch:
- Cleveland Browns (0-12; lost to New York Giants 27-13) – Browns steady as she goes, with 58-yards rushing and three (3) turnovers maintaining perfect record in chase for B-10 glory…Browns can’t rest on laurels during bye week, as internal dissension, lousy film sessions will be key to B-10 stretch run…Browns tenth (10th) team start NFL season 0-12……Next Loss: Cincinnati (Dec. 11)
2. San Francisco 49ers (1-10; lost to Miami 31-24) – 49ers gracious guests, as two (2) turnovers magically turn into ten (10) Miami points…Big game against Bears Sunday could be for B-10 title if Browns somehow manage a win…Next Loss: at Chicago
3. Chicago Bears (2-9; lost to Tennessee 27-21) – Bears show cursory early interest, leading 7-0 before catching fire and getting outscored 27-0…Bears glad to have not gotten caught looking ahead to Sunday’s showdown in third (3rd) straight loss…Next Loss: San Francisco
4. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-9; lost to Buffalo 28-21) – To show he’s serious about beheadings if team does not win B-10 title, owner Genghis Khan has coaching staff dressing in orange jump suits around team complex, sends them all complimentary sets of Ginsu knives…Next Loss: Denver
5. New York Jets (3-8; lost to New England 22-17) – Jets show mettle of B-10 contender, blowing two leads in impressive third (3rd) straight loss…Consecutive October wins really have Jets fan(s) wondering what might have been this B-10 campaign…Next Loss: Indianapolis (Dec 5)
6. Cincinnati Bengals (3-7-1; lost to Baltimore 19-14) – Game not as close as score indicated, as Ravens gave Bengals two (2) points on safety on game’s final play…Bengals cannot get caught looking ahead to Dec 11 showdown with Browns, as lack of focus could produce win over Eagles this week…Next Loss: Philadelphia
7. AFC North(15-29-1) – With Baltimore and Pittsburgh tied for first with 6-5 marks and Cleveland and Cincinnati mailing it in, AFC North easy pick for weekly Pete Rozelle Award, issued to league’s worst division…Bengals and Browns have combined to lose or tie 16 straight games.
8. Philadelphia Eagles (5-6; lost to Green Bay 27-13) – Five wins a bit much for B-10 medal stand consideration, but Eagles have lost four (4) of last five (5) and can make big strides with loss to Bengals this week…Next Loss: at Cincinnati
9. US Media – Continues to report witless ramblings of president-elect Donald Trump as real news…Had a genuine, working US news media been in place when Trump announced his candidacy for GOP nomination, Trump would never have made it to the first primary…Next Loss: Our entire way of life, as nation collapses before half-century is out.
10. Donald Trump – You know, maybe it’s a bit much to expect a president-elect to have specific knowledge of the 1967 Supreme Court decision that made it unconstitutional to strip someone of citizenship as punishment, but couldn’t a staff member Googled “Supreme Court” and “Loss of Citizenship” beforehand, just for funsies???
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: San Francisco at Chicago
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Philadelphia at Cincinnati