The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 10
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy
Like two (2) heavyweights slugging it out, it’s 0-8 Cleveland vs equally 0-8 San Francisco duking it out for the most coveted trophy in sports, The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.
Another tight one is the dogfight for the coveted third spot on the Bottom Ten medal stand. Both the Colts and Buccaneers have two wins and the Giants return from their bye week Sunday and as one of the deepest fields in recent Bottom Ten memory hits the halfway mark.
This week’s fiasco, as the nags limp up the backstretch:
1. Cleveland Browns (0-8; lost to Minnesota 33-16) – Browns blow three (3) leads in retaining B-10 top spot…Browns head into bye week looking ahead to showdown at Detroit, looking for Lions blessing in 0-16 quest with loss this at Ford Field on November 12…Browns 45th NFL team to start season 0-8…They were also the 44th…Next Loss: at Detroit (11/12)
2. San Francisco 49ers (0-8; lost to Philadelphia 33-10) –Niners never in this one, keeping pace in quest for first B-10 title with early 20-0 deficit and punting or turning ball over entire first half…49ers 46th NFL team to start season 0-8……Next Loss: Arizona
3. Indianapolis Colts (2-6; lost to Cincinnati 24-23) – Leading 20-17 at end of third quarter, offense takes charge allowing go-ahead score on interception returned for touchdown…Colts counting on close loss to B-10 perennials to set tone for strong second half…Next Loss: at Texas
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-5; lost to Carolina 17-3) – After having not lost game by more than ten (10) points in a month, Buccaneers back in stride with morale building 14-point defeat…Current four (4)-game skid best amongst NFL teams that have actually won a game…Next Loss: at New Orleans
5. New York Jets (3-5; lost to Atlanta 25-20) – Special teams shows the way in this one, missing two (2) field goals…After dismal 3-2 start, Jets finally starting to hit their stride, having lost three straight…Next Loss: Buffalo
6. Detroit Lions (3-4; lost to Pittsburgh 20-15) – B-10 Hall of Famers thanks to only 0-16 season – so far – in NFL history, Lions back in survey, showing inspiring midseason interest with hot, new three (3)-game losing streak…Next Loss: at Green Bay
7. Chicago Bears (3-5; lost to New Orleans 20-12) – Bears able to turn one (1) Saints 4th quarter fumble into touchdown, but clutch offense turns comes up huge late, turning it over on downs, tossing interception on final two (2) drives…Bears back in B-10 survey after snapping curious two (2)-game winning skid….Next Loss: Green Bay (11/12)
8. Denver Broncos (3-4; lost to Kansas City 29-19) – Broncos in midseason form at halfway point, with five (5) turnovers pacing third straight loss…Broncos not entirely sure who they annoyed in NFL office, as road Monday night game followed by east coast game Sunday…Next Loss: at Philadelphia
9. AFC West (15-16) – With only one (1) team above .500, AFC West gets shot at weekly, coveted Pete Rozelle Award – issued to NFL’s worst division…Only reason entire division isn’t on losing streak is because Chiefs played Broncos this week.
10. 2017 World Series – Hey baseball guys, there are too many home runs being hit…Quit juicing the ball…Feast or famine, home run or strikeout, is not the way the game is meant to be played…Next Loss: Your entire fanbase, which you’re already losing because World Series games end so goddamned late.
This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Cleveland at Detroit
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Indianapolis at Houston