The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 9

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 9
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Bottom Ten is a merit based survey. And there is no shortage of merit this season.

Sure, the Browns and 49ers continue to provide needed stability in these chaotic times, but the fight is on for the remaining positions in the survey. From stalwarts like the Giants and the Bengals to up-and-comers like the Broncos and the Falcons, the race for The Dan Henning Trophy – symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy – may well come down to the last turnover and false start.

This week’s fiasco, as the nags approach the back stretch:

1. Cleveland Browns (0-7; lost to Tennessee 12-9 OT) – Browns show mettle expected of defending B-10 champions, losing winnable home game in overtime, as offense produces three (3) interceptions…Browns 64th NFL team to start season 0-7…They were also the 63rd…Next Loss: Minnesota

2. San Francisco 49ers (0-7; lost to Dallas 40-10) – After losing previous five (5) games by a total of 13 points, Niners steady ship with refreshing blowout loss…49ers 65th team in NFL history to start season 0-7…Next Loss: at Philadelphia

3. New York Giants (1-6; lost to Seattle 24-7) – Giants back on B-10 medal stand, showing strong finishing kick, getting outscored 21-0 in second half…Giants head into bye week trying not to fixate on 11/12 showdown at San Francisco…Next Loss: Los Angeles Rams (11/5)

4. Cincinnati Bengals (2-4; lost to Pittsburgh 29-14) – Bengals show they never stray too far from B-10 homestead, snapping curious two (2) game win streak with inspiring division loss…Offense takes charge, producing 19 (19) yards in second half…Next Loss: Indianapolis

5. Denver Broncos (3-3; lost to Los Angeles Chargers 21-0) – Broncos worming way up survey having lost three (3) out of last four (4)…This week’s debacle was first shutout loss in 25 years and gave Chargers first home win in LA since Eisenhower Administration…Next Loss: at Kansas City (10/30)

6. Indianapolis Colts (2-5; lost to Jacksonville 27-0) – Colts make big B-10 statement with decisive shutout, road, divisional loss…With depth of 2017 B-10 field strong, Colts need to snap off long losing streak to really catch B-10 pollster’s attention….Next Loss: at Cincinnati

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-4; lost to Buffalo 30-27) – Buccaneers show mettle that leads straight to B-10 glory, blowing three (3) leads, giving up go-ahead field goal in final minute that followed fumble in own territory…Tampa Bay has lost three (3) straight…Next Loss: Carolina

8. Atlanta Falcons (3-3; lost to New England 23-7) – Falcons soar into survey with third straight loss…B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” Falcons can become first team “basically ever” to blow lead in Super Bowl, finish in B-10 the following season…Next Loss: at New York Jets

9. Tennessee at Cleveland – Easy pick for Week 9 B-10 Game of the Year nominee…Forget anthem protest, nation outraged at being force-fed 74 minutes of this crap, as teams thrill TV audience with seven (7) field goals, zero (0) touchdowns, 17 penalties in overtime game.

10. AFC North (10-17) – In closest voting so far, AFC North dethrones AFC South for coveted, weekly Pete Rozelle Award, issued NFL’s worst division…While Steelers pretty good, rest of division combined 5-15 and has combined to lose ten (10) straight.

This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Indianapolis at Cincinnati
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Atlanta at New York Jets


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