The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 15 – The Interregnum Poll

The Bottom Ten/NCAA Week 15 – The Interregnum Poll!
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy 

With the college football regular season not ending until a couple of days until spring training begins, Bottom Ten pollsters are pleased to trot the latest American classic, the NCAA Bottom Ten Interregnum Poll. 

Stolen straight from the Week 2 NFL Interregnum survey, the NCAA Interregnum poll has the banal commentary and witless social analysis America has come to know and love. 

Next week the beloved NCAA Bottom Ten/Bowl Game Edition will move and the final NCAA Bottom Ten will run on December 17. 

This year’s mess: 

1. Republicans The very best you can do is a likely-to-be-impeached incumbent who’s a lying sexual predator who thinks the moon is part of Mars…All of you should be ashamed of yourself for continuing to defend the indefensible…Barring a palace coup in a Senate trial,  it is time for the GOP to roll over and call it a day. ..The party of Lincoln does not exist anymore. 

2. DemocratsIf you are unable to produce a candidate who can name the Electoral College score against a lying sexual predator who believes the moon is part of Mars, then you should roll over and call it a day, too, joining the GOP, Whig Party in the political graveyard. 

3. Major League Baseball Average World Series game took 3 hours, 44 minutes this year, taking a bit less time than a bypass and they were almost as much fun…Only reason 2019 Series wasn’t lowest-rated ever was because Game 7 pulled in 23 million viewers, itself the lowest-rated Game 7 ever. 

4. Houston Astros Hey guys, you want your runner on second base stealing signs, great…Not great is stealing them with TV cameras….B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” other teams stupid for not noticing a trash can was banging before every curveball, but what do they know. 

5. Republicans IIAll of you are nitwits for wailing about your president – who believes the moon is part of Mars – not getting due process or legal counsel or anything else during his impeachment hearings…It’s an investigation, not a trial…The president is entitled to none of these things, as many smart junior high kid knows. 

6. Interregnum B-10 pollsters continue to kick it old school with regular, tedious use of obscure, seldom used word usually only trotted out between election and inauguration of new president…16th-century Latin word meaning “between reign”. 

7. Countess of Wessex Hubba-hubba…Please call, text, soonest.  

8. College Football Playoff No matter who is selected for four-team invitational, there will be three (3) or four (4) teams deserving of competing for national title that won’t be allowed to…A 32-team NCAA Division I Playoff could have started Thanksgiving Weekend and end on New Year’s Day. 

9. Jamal Khashoggi Former journalist still dead, over a year after his execution by Saudi operatives…Outside of a few whack jobs still getting shorts in knot over it, Saudis have successfully brazened their way through it without sanction. 

10. US Federal Executions Plan to resume federal executions this month halted by pesky federal judge over some stuffy technicality…Good, as B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” America has executed innocent people which is “like, really bad and stuff”. 

 

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