The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 16

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 16
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

With no unvictoried teams remaining, the 2019 Bottom Ten race is the most wide-open in years, with no less than five (5) teams still in the hunt for the most coveted trophy in sports – The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten supremacy.

Still though, with the New York Giants setting the pace with a hot nine (9)-game losing streak, veteran Bottom Ten fan(s) know you bet against them at your peril. ‘

This week’s mess, as the nags pass the quarter pole:

1. New York Giants (2-11; lost to Philadelphia 23-17 OT) – Giants show mettle that leads straight to B-10 glory, blowing 17-3 halftime lead in ninth straight loss…Though currently on B-10 throne, Giants cannot get cocky heading into Sunday’s must-lose showdown with Dolphins….Next Loss: Miami

2. Cincinnati Bengals (1-12; lost to Cleveland 27-19) – Bengals back on losing schneid following only win, need to lose big the rest of the way to have any hope of catching Giants…Bengals also show ability to lose close ones, as game not decided until special teams unable to recover onsides kick…Next Loss: New England

3. Detroit Lions (3-9-1; lost to Minnesota 20-7) – Lions kicking themselves, as late touchdown prevents shutout that tends to get attention of B-10 pollsters…Current six (6) game skid tied with Cardinals for second-best in league…Next Loss: Tampa Bay

4. Arizona Cardinals (3-9-1; lost to Pittsburgh 23-17) – Tie game with Lions still flummoxing B-10 pollsters – hardly the Upset of the Year – as B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” Cardinals ranked lower than Lions “just for the hell of it”…Next Loss: Cleveland

5. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-9; lost to San Diego 45-10) – Hard-charging Jaguars making late B-10 noise with fifth straight loss…With one win coming against Bengals, Jaguars could benefit from strength-of-schedule points should Bengals lose out…Next Loss: at Oakland

6. NFC East (17-35) With two teams tied for first with losing records, NFC East easy pick for weekly, coveted Pete Rozelle Award – issued league’s worst division…With three (3) teams, division itself in survey, man-sized 40% of Week 16 survey comprised of assorted NFC East elements. 

7. Miami Dolphins (3-10; lost to New York Jets 22-21) – Though luster of potential winless season long gone, Dolphins still in hunt for B-10 title with games against Giants, Bengals next two (2) weeks…..Next Loss: at New York Giants

8. Washington Redskins (3-10; lost to Green Bay 20-15) – Redskins set strong early tone, punting on first four drives…With NFC East veritable minefield this year, and with three (3) divisional games remaining, Redskins losing out not taken for granted…Next Loss: Philadelphia

9. NFLStill foisting lousy football off on country, as 18 teams are below .500, eight (8) teams have lost at least two (2) straight while half the league lost last week…Six (6) teams with losing records actually still in playoff hunt.  

10, Dallas Cowboys (6-7; lost to Chicago 31-24) – Losers of three (3) straight, Cowboys take inaugural B-10 Mixed Signals Plaque  – issued to NFL division leader with longest streak…Owner Jerry Jones on record as saying head coach needs deep B-10 run to save job…Next Loss: Los Angeles Rams

This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Miami at New York Giants
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Tampa Bay at Detroit

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