The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 7

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 7
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

And then there were none.

Arizona’s victory at San Francisco means there are no longer any unvictoried teams in the NFL. And that the race for the most coveted trophy in sports – The Dan Henning Trophy, symbolic of NFL Bottom Ten excellence – is wide open. So wide open, in fact, that the two-time defending Bottom Ten champions, the Cleveland Browns, are not even in the survey this week despite winning only two (2) games.

This week’s fiasco, as the nags enter the clubhouse turn:

1. San Francisco 49ers (1-4; lost to Arizona 28-18) – 49ers ascend B-10 throne after clutch home, five (5)-turnover loss to last week’s #1 team…With quarterback who engineered 2017’s season-ending five (5)-game winning streak injured, 49ers have B-10 glory squarely in crosshairs…Next Loss: at Green Bay

2. Indianapolis Colts (1-4; lost to New England 38-24) – Colts claim coveted B-10 runner-up spot after strutting stuff on prime time, national TV stage…Total Team Effort (TTE) key, as missed field goal, three (3) turnovers, lead to 17 New England points..Next Loss: at New York Jets

3. New York Giants (1-4; lost to Carolina 33-31) – Giants show mettle that leads to straight to B-10 medal stand, pulling out clutch come-from-ahead loss, overcoming late go-ahead touchdown to lose on last-second, 63-yard field goal…While 2017 results do not carry over, Giants have lost nine (9) of eleven (11)…Next Loss: Philadelphia (10/11)

4. Atlanta Falcons (1-4; lost to Pittsburgh 41-17) – B-10 pollsters “pretty sure” Falcons first team “basically, dude, ever” to go from blowing 25-point lead in Super Bowl to B-10 glory within two (2) seasons…Next Loss: Tampa Bay

5. Arizona Cardinals (1-4; defeated San Francisco 28-18) – Cardinals choke, winning despite getting only ten (10) first downs, 56 yards rushing and possessing ball for only 19 minutes…Win means Cardinals go from winless squad chasing B-10 glory to just another 1-4 team with problems…Next Loss: at Minnesota

6. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-2; DNP) – Buccaneers didn’t play, resting up for this week’s showdown at Atlanta, but still ranked due to strong internal dissension, lousy week of practice..Next Loss: at Atlanta

7. Denver Broncos (2-3; lost to New York Jets 34-16) – Broncos gallop into NFL history book, becoming second team ever to give up two 75-yard scoring plays in same quarter…Current three (3)-game skid tied for best in league…..Next Loss: Los Angeles Rams

8. Oakland Raiders (1-4; lost to Los Angeles Chargers 26-10) – Raiders show cursory early interest, rallying for second quarter tie, before settling in, getting outscored 23-7 the rest of the way…55 penalty yards, 41 rushing yards give Raiders weekly best 1.341-to-1 Penalty Yard-to-Rushing Yards ration…Next Loss: Seattle

9. Dallas Cowboys (2-3; lost to Houston 19-16 OT) – While B-10 pollsters admit Texas bias, Cowboys earn this week’s ranking on merit, with loss to Texan squad that was #1 two (2) weeks ago…Team takes crap for punting in overtime, but offense so lousy Cowboys probably would have punted from red zone…Next Loss: Jacksonville

10. NFC East (7-12) – Only division lacking team with winning record, NFC East easy choice for Pete Rozelle Award, issued to NFL’s worst division…Division so bad Redskins soar into first place following blowout loss as entire division has combined to lose six (6) straight.

This Week’s Clash of the Titans: Tampa Bay at Atlanta
This Is Don Criqui Reporting: Indianapolis at New York Jets

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