The Daily Dose/Sunday, April 7, 2019

The Daily Dose/April 7, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off: The Sunday Bottom Five/April 7, 2019
The best of the worst of the week that was:

  1. President Trump
    Threatens to close border with Mexico, though, as a practical matter, he can no more close border than he can close Denny’s…Though spiking recently – probably because of chaos in US – illegal crossings still down 1.3 million from turn-of-century.
  2. NCAA Final Four
    Pimp, whore, and john like few others, NCAA’s usual feel-good Final Four almost makes it seem like the ‘C’ in NCAA no longer stands for ‘cesspool’ even though it really does…Thanks to Penn State, Michigan State, Sex Abuse to be next sanctioned sport in Big Ten Conference.
  3. Major League Baseball
    Season barely a week old and attendance already down 2.5 percent from 2018, which itself was down almost six percent from 2017. Sunday Bottom Five pollsters “pretty sure” games that are too long, featuring more strikeouts than hits both killing game.
  4. Mueller Report
    Reaction predictably partisan, though no one – not an R or a D or even your aunt in Reno – dismissed prospect of Trump collusion out of hand…Though some Trump friends have taken it in the shorts, President Trump neither exonerated nor indicted. Thanks, Mueller Report, that solved a lot!
  5. US Supreme Court
    Rules that Missouri killer Russell Bucklew is not guaranteed painless execution. Fine, let’s just line every killer up and garrote them because if a painful execution does not violate the 8th Amendment, nothing does.   

Editor’s Note: The Sunday Bottom Five is based on the hilarious Sunday Bottom Ten feature that ran last summer, which itself is a derivative of The Bottom Ten columns that run during football season. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodyIt’s a routine night at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

The first call was from a guy who called needing a room for three and I told him I could do a room with two queen beds for $124, plus tax…He hems and haws, which immediately means no sale, and ends up saying they’ll think about it and I wanted to scold him and tell him it’s OK, you can tell me no, I’m a big boy…Almost interesting is the fact they showed up a half-hour later, saying they’ll take the room…The campground they had reserved turned out to be uncampable and one of the dudes flashed his US Air Force ID card and I slashed his rate to an incredible $105, plus tax.

Click on the button to read The Diary of a Nobody. $5.99 includes all entries, past, present, and future. 

Criminals, Courtesans, and ConstablesFriends, my latest novel is now available, for $3.99 until later this week when the price goes up a couple of bucks. Criminals, Courtesans, and Constables is about a nice guy who runs high-class call girls in and out of 5-star suites and throne rooms, collects ransoms and runs from the constables. Hilarity ensues.

Click here to read excerpts and a sample chapter.

On This Date
In 1989 – The Soviet submarine Komsomolets catches fire and sinks in the Barents Sea north of Norway. The ship was submerged when a short-circuit caused a fire in the engineering spaces and while the ship safely surfaced, the fire continued to burn and the ship sank several hours later and still rests on the bottom of the Barents Sea. 42 of the 69 crew members died.

In 1969 – Bill Singer of the Los Angeles Dodgers records the first official save in major league history, pitching the final three innings of the Dodgers’ 3-2 win in Cincinnati over the Reds. The save was Singer’s only relief appearance of the season and Ron Perranowski of the Minnesota Twins would lead the majors with 31 saves.

In 1983 – Kenny Loggins is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the second of three consecutive weeks with Footloose, from the soundtrack of the movie of the same name.The song also went to #1 in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa and was Billboard’s fourth biggest hit of the year. Footloose was the third of five Top 10 hits for Loggins as a solo act and remains his only #1 song.

God is man’s first attempt to understand his existence and purpose.
John Bowker
God: A Brief History

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Two girl groups – the Chiffons and the Angels – had #1 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1963.

Today’s Stumper
The Footloose soundtrack produced one other #1 song. What was it? – Answer next time!

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