The Daily Dose/Thursday, November 7, 2019

The Daily Dose/November 7, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

HUT, HUT, HIKE: At first glance, it seemed preposterous: the undefeated defending national college football champion was not included in the top four of the first College Football Playoff rankings of 2019. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The top four were Ohio State, LSU, Alabama and Penn State. Clemson was fifth and two other undefeated teams, Baylor and Minnesota, were not in the Top 10 at all, despite being undefeated.

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: We have long held the opinion that Penn State, as penalty for keeping a child molester on staff for years, should no longer be allowed to make money of major division college sports. They should have been dispatched to the USCAA, where they could have played in the same conference as other Penn State schools. 

Back On Message: Clemson’s big crime, of course, is they are not Alabama, but the Tigers don’t really need to worry. Alabama and LSU meet this weekend, of course, and Penn State and Ohio State meet on Nov. 23, and while one of those losing teams might make it with one loss, it is not reasonable to expect both teams to make it with one loss. Clemson will get an invitation if they remain undefeated. 

Stop Us If You’ve Heard This Before: It is, of course, silly the NCAA does not sponsor a major division football playoff and it gets sillier every year. But we’re tolerating this nonsense, so we’ll continue to receive it. 

FunFact: A 32-team – the same size played in Division III – NCAA Division I Football Playoff could begin Thanksgiving weekend and end on New Year’s Day, the last day anyone of us really care about college football. 

Today At The Site
The Diary of a NobodySparrow has the latest on his hot cereal situation at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

I’d run out of grits in my grain cellar at the hotel, and while I still had oatmeal for my 0300 meal, I went to the store before heading in and bought some Cream of Wheat.

Bad move.

One, I didn’t put enuff water in and the result could probably have been used a projectile…Neither more water nor hazelnut coffee creamer seemed to help – they both ran off it like it was marble – and I’m probably lucky I didn’t chip a tooth…Two – and I should have known this – the wheat was nothing but carbs my body neither wanted or needed and soon enough I was going to the can every five minutes again, my blood sugar evidently spiking like a Richter scale on a fault line…Good gravy, I didn’t return to normal until I was at the Veterans Service Office. 

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

The Bottom Ten/NFL Week 11It’s official, the NFL Bottom Ten now moves on Thursdays. We’re through fooling ourselves we’ll have it by Wednesday.

Here are some funny lines from this week’s NFL Bottom Ten.

With the Bengals off, the Jets fly into the #1 spot in the race for The Dan Henning Trophy following their loss to the Miami Dolphins, a team deliberately trying to lose every game they play.

Considering depth of 2019 B-10 field, Giants need big road loss against Jets this week to have realistic shot for B-10 glory…

Buccaneers overcome curious last-minute, game-tying touchdown to rebound for type of morale-boosting, clutch, OT, road loss that tends to lead straight to B-10 glory…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
In 1944 – President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, already only president elected to three terms, becomes the first elected to four terms, defeating Thomas Dewey 432 electoral votes to 99. FDR was elected with Harry Truman, who had replaced Henry Wallace as the vice-presidential nominee. Dewey, the governor of New York at the time, would also lose the 1948 presidential election, to Truman, who had taken office after FDR died in April 1945. 

In 1962 – Glenn Hall of the Chicago Black Hawks plays in the final game of his NHL-record 502 consecutive complete games as a goaltender, a 3-1 loss to the Detroit Red Wings. The streak had started with the opening game of the 1955-56 season, when Hall played for the Red Wings, and would end on Nov. 7 when he left a game against the Boston Bruins in the first period with a back injury, which kept him out three games. Hall had owned the record since Jan. 28, 1959, when he played in his 258th consecutive complete game, breaking the record established by Alec Connell of Ottawa from 1924-30. 

In 1953 – Carl Smith is at #1 on Billboard’s Most Played Juke Box Folk Records chart – one of several predecessors to today’s country chart – for the eighth and final non-consecutive week with Hey Joe. Previously the song had had five and two-week stints at #1, with each stint interrupted for one week by A Dear John Letter by Jean Shepard and Ferlin Husky. It was the fourth of five #1 country songs for Smith in a chart career that spanned from 1951 through 1978.

I’m always flying in the face of great odds – builds character.
Johnny Dollar

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Princeton and Rutgers last met in football in 1980 with Rutgers winning 44-13. Thought Rutgers won the last five meetings, Princeton leads the all-time series 53-17-1.

Today’s Stumper
Who was FDR’s first vice president? – Answer next time!


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