The Daily Dose/Wednesday, December 4, 2019

The Daily Dose/December 4, 2019
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

Leading Off is in time out.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow does the wake-up call greeting. Today’s Diary. 

The big news is I did the wakeup call!!!…I am not making that up…Neither Amy nor Q could be bothered…You’d think Amy would have taken care of it…She’s new to the wakeup call racket and could use the practice, but no…Lord knows they weren’t busy, so maybe they just forgot…Or maybe they wanted ol’ Sparrow to keep his skills sharp. 

Key here is not to try and reinvent the wheel…Remember, your audience is people who are just waking up and you don’t want to annoy them by being too goddamned cheery…Good morning, your name, the weather, have a good day, thank you for staying with us and if this takes more than ten seconds you’re blabbing.

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
In 1872 – The American merchant ship Mary Celeste is found adrift off the Azore Islands by a Canadian ship. The ship was disheveled but seaworthy and the lifeboat was missing. The Mary Celeste had sailed from New York on Nov. 7 bound for Italy and the ship’s last deck log entry was ten days earlier, noting its position, about 400 miles southwest from where she was actually found. No substantive theories exist as to why the ship was abandoned and no one from the crew was ever heard from again. 

In 1987 – Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s NBA record of 787 consecutive games scoring at least ten points comes to an end, as he scores seven points in an 85-83 loss to the Milwaukee Bucks, a streak that had started in December 1977. Abdul-Jabbar’s record was broken in 1997 by Michael Jordan and is now held by LeBron James, who broke Jordan’s record of 866 consecutive games last year. James scored 25 points on Tuesday night to bring his streak to 949 consecutive games. 

In 1961 – Please Mr. Postman by the Marvelettes is at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot R&B Sides chart – for the fourth of seven consecutive weeks. It was the first chart single for the group and remains their only #1 song on either chart. The following week the song also went to #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and Please Mr. Postman returned to the top of the Hot 100 when a version by the Carpenters spent a week at #1 in 1975. 

Quotebook
So nigh is grandeur to our dust/So near is God to man/When duty whispers low, Thou must/The youth replies, I can – Emerson

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Besides the election of 1800, one other presidential election, 1824, has been decided by the House of Representatives. That year John Quincy Adams defeated Andrew Jackson and William C Crawford. 

Today’s Stumper
What were the other two songs to spend at least seven weeks at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart in 1961? – Answer next time!

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