The Daily Dose/Monday, January 13, 2020

The Daily Dose/January 13, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

HUT, HUT, HIKE: We’re through fighting it. For now, at least. Clemson and LSU will play tonight in the title game of the College Football Playoff (CFP) and more power to them. It’s hard to argue with two 14-0 teams duking it out for the national championship. 

Outside of the fact the CFP doesn’t allow for Cinderella stories, we have to admit it’s doing a pretty good job of getting the generally-acknowledged four best teams in the country to the national semifinals. Bully for them. 

Dry, Technical Matter: In fact, having a committee invite four teams to a tournament is working so well other sports should consider it, too. Have the NHL, NBA, NFL and baseball choose four teams for their playoffs, and NCAA basketball, too. 

This is especially attractive in basketball and hockey because then we wouldn’t be obliged to suffer through four rounds of NHL and NBA playoffs, which followed an interminable regular season that bores everyone to tears. Your average regular season NHL and NBA game would go from being relatively meaningless to being chock full of meaning. Picking only four NFL teams would mean two division champions don’t make the playoffs, but not every conference champion makes the CFP and the sun still rises in the east every morning. Tough noogies. Life isn’t always fair. 

Back On Message: Honestly, though, if we are going to be stuck with a four-team CFP let’s be reasonable: nobody cares about college football after New Year’s Day. We’re tolerating it but deep down we would all prefer college football to end either on Jan. 1 or Monday, Jan. 2. 

So have the CFP championship game on New Year’s Day. It can be played in prime time after the Sugar Bowl and the Rose Bowl. It would be a heck of a way to end the season. 

Oh Jesus H: We could point out a 32-team NCAA Division I Football Playoff could begin Thanksgiving weekend, end on New Year’s Day and would become an American classic quicker than you could say “strength of schedule” but we’re not going to do that. Go ahead and drink the Kool-Aid tonight. It should be a great game. 

Today At The Site
Editor’s Note: it’s Read Free Fortnight at The Diary of a Nobody. So go, scoot, click on the link and enjoy the Diary with Sparrow’s compliments.

The Diary of a Nobody: A guy decides he’d rather sleep in his car than rent a room from Sparrow. Today’s Diary. 

You knock around front desks long enuff and your first impressions about people are usually correct and my first impression of him was “cheapskate”…He seemed a professional sort, could afford $5 for a sack of granola, had clean clothes and didn’t stink so it was doubtful he was homeless…I quoted him a rate of $129, plus tax, almost a giveaway in ski season, said he would think about it and then walked outside where he opened the passenger side doors on his car and moved things around, probably preparing it for his night’s sleep…He drove away shortly thereafter. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1985 – A train carrying 1,000 people derails over a ravine at Awash, Ethiopia, killing 428 and injuring over 500. The train had five cars and the three rear cars derailed while on a curve while traveling at too high a speed. Awash is about 100 miles east of the Ethiopian capital of Addis Ababa and the derailment remains the worst railroad disaster in African history. 

In 1983 – The Quebec Nordiques lose to the Boston Bruins 2-0, ending the Nordiques’ NHL record of 230 consecutive games without being shutout. The Nordiques had last been shutout on Feb. 9, 1980 by the New York Islanders and had broken the record of 228 consecutive games established by the Chicago Blackhawks early in the 1970s. The record is now 264 consecutive games by the Calgary Flames (Nov. 1981-Jan. 1985) and the Nordiques streak now ranks fifth on the all-time list. The Nordiques become the Colorado Avalanche in 1995. 

In 1962 – Chubby Checker is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of two consecutive weeks with The Twist. The song also peaked at #4 on Billboard’s soul chart, peaked at #14 in Great Britain and The Twist ranked #1 on Billboard’s 60th anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. In Sept. 1960 The Twist had spent one week at #1 on the Hot 100 and it remains the only song in Hot 100 history to go to #1 in separate chart runs. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

The millions are awake enough for physical labor; but only one in a million is awake enough for effective intellectual exertion, only one in a hundred millions to a poetic or divine life. – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Approximately 58,000 Americans died in the Vietnam War. About 1,600 remain missing. 

Today’s Stumper
Test your knowledge. Now.

What’s the worst railroad disaster in human history? – Answer next time!

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