The Daily Dose/Monday, June 8, 2020

The Daily Dose/June 8, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

USA! USA!: Damn, that was quick. 

The Minneapolis City Council on Sunday voted to pledge to dismantle the police department. No committees, no blue-ribbon panels, no investigations. Anything they do can be vetoed by the mayor, but the council has the votes to override his veto. This came two weeks after George Floyd was killed by a policeman who declined to remove his knee from Floyd’s neck despite the fact Floyd was handcuffed and lying face down on the ground, an incident you may have read about. 

This is, of course, an extreme measure but both Floyd’s killing and America’s response to it are extreme circumstances and perhaps now is the time that white America realizes – after 400 years of oppression – that it’s time to treat blacks like we would like to be treated. 

Good News And Bad News: This will solve the problem because you can’t have police brutality without a police department. On the other hand, you need people with some authority to respond to car wrecks or to do something about the neighbor who’s beating their kids. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Extreme situations, though, require extreme measures and bravo to the Minneapolis city council for realizing this. Perhaps a solution that makes it easier to fire bad cops – or, better yet, ensure they aren’t hired in the first place – comes about. Perhaps we will stop having municipal police departments armed like panzer divisions.  

The Bottom Line: Something needs to be done, of course. Completely doing away with the police is not practical, but George Floyd deserved better than being suffocated while in custody. Somewhere in the middle between police autocracy and complete anarchy is the answer. Somewhere in the middle is a white America finally willing and able to respect those different from them. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow buys some socks. Today’s Diary.  

After the hotel, I headed to the retailer for some milk and I also ended up buying some socks because they have been disappearing lately…I have some zero clue what the deal is…I’ve generally been able to take care of myself since being on my own but for some reason, I can’t keep track of my socks…It’s an age-old problem of course and the only solution is to keep buying more socks…I went all black this time, athletic, working man’s socks from Dickies…Well, the bottoms are gray and I’ve had them before but those have disappeared too, except for one odd one that keeps showing up from time to time…The only problem was I left the bag untouched all day while I slept…I had put it on the kitchen table and neglected to put anything away, so that’s a gallon of milk wasted. 

Backstairs at the Monte CarloIt’s difficult to get out of a conversation with Orwad.

Orwad has a low, grating, monotone voice which is tedious to listen to. Plus he’s boring. Most conversations with Orwad tend to consist of him wondering whether or not he’ll be able to watch the NASCAR race this weekend and how much his brother-in-law pisses him off because all he does is get shitfaced and screw up the brake work on the car they are working on.

Click here get in on the laffs: The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
History’s long march to today

In 2009 – Two American reporters, Euna Lee and Laura Ling, are sentenced to 12-years of hard labor after being convicted of illegally entering North Korea. The pair had been arrested in March at the Tumen River on the North Korea/China border after entering North Korea without a visa. They were released in August after former President Bill Clinton visited North Korea and arranged for their pardon and release. 

In 1961 – The Milwaukee Braves become the first team in major league history to hit four consecutive home runs in a 10-8 loss to the Cincinnati Reds. Eddie Matthews, Hank Aaron, Joe Adcock and Frank Thomas connected in the seventh inning for the Braves, who pulled to within 10-7 after the inning. The first two home runs came off of starting pitcher Jim Maloney and the remainder off of Marshall Bridges. The record still stands and the feat has been equaled eight other times, five of them this century. 

In 1968 – Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell are at #1 on Billboard’s soul chart – then known as the Hot R&B chart – for the only week with Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing.  It was the fifth of nine chart singles for the duo and their first of two #1 soul songs (You’re All I Need to Get By, five weeks, 1967). The song also went to #8 on the Hot 100 and was written by Nickolas Ashford and Valerie Simpson, who also provided backup vocals. The song returned to the charts in 1976 when Donny and Marie Osmond took it to #21 on the Hot 100.

The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Fighting against destiny seemed impossible for the moment. – Jules Verne, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

John Adams, the future second president of the United States and then representing Massachusetts in the Second Continental Congress, second the Lee Resolution. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many #1 songs did Marvin Gaye have on Billboard’s Hot 100? – Answer next time!

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