The Daily Dose/Monday, March 2, 2020

The Daily Dose/March 2, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

ANOTHER WAR WE’RE NOT WINNING: A story in our local newspaper here in northwest Colorado caught our eye: a man who had been arrested and convicted for transporting heroin and meth last year had been sentenced to 39 years in state prison. 

39 years!

Dry, Technical Matter: 39 years despite the fact he was moving a product there was a demand for because there would be no trouble selling his product. He had waiting customers. It was hardly as if he was forcing anyone to use. 

Look, we don’t do heroin or meth, either, but the purpose of this item is not to discuss the pros and cons of either narcotic. Like you might, we have first-hand experience into the consequences of drug abuse and it isn’t pretty and we have the ashes in our closet to prove it. We don’t do them and we would prefer you don’t, either. 

Back On Message: Our purpose is to discuss their continued criminalization. 

Fly In The Ointment: Did this man’s arrest, conviction and sentencing in any way stop anyone from using heroin or meth? Of course, it didn’t. All it really did was take some product off the street, which merely increased the cost of a fix for users which probably means they’ll need to steal more to pay for their habit. 

OTOH: If these substances were legal, then the guy is merely a vendor trying to move some product, a point we made every hour on the hour after the arrest, trial and conviction of Mexican drug lord El Chapo. If drugs were legal El Chapo would still be in Mexico, moving product there is a great deal of demand for here in America. 

Gaylon For US Senate…Vote Early, Vote Often: This country learned nothing from Prohibition: laws like this do not work. All they do is create more criminals, something we have enough of already. America should end its drug war; it’s already claimed enough victims. 

Editor’s Note: Gaylon is a candidate for the Colorado Libertarian Party’s US Senate nomination. Click here to open the manhole cover and find out more. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow gets a free pizza at the hotel. Today’s Diary.   

There were also several pizza boxes from the restaurant and one of them contained a complete, untouched, meat lovers pizza…Sigh…Pizza left in or near a trash can, or on a room service tray outside a room, no, you don’t touch those…Not only are their sanitary reasons, but it’s also bad for morale taking used food in those situations. 

A completely untouched box in the lobby, tho???…Gee whiz…It hadn’t even been opened, at least until I went to pick it up and noticed its heft…It was hardly fresh from the oven but it hadn’t been sitting all that long, either and I ended up taking it in the back office and eventually eating the whole thing…Belch. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1972 – Man’s first voyage to Jupiter, Pioneer 10, is launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida. It would make its closest approach to Jupiter – 82,178 miles – on December 3, 1973, and Jupiter was the only planet Pioneer 10 visited. The last communications received from the spacecraft, too weak to contain anything intelligible, came in 2003 and took 11 hours and 23 minutes to reach Earth. 

In 1969 – Phil Esposito of the Boston Bruins becomes the first NHL player to score 100 points in a season as the Bruins defeat the Pittsburgh Penguins 4-0. Esposito had two goals on the night and would finish the season with 126 points. Later in the season, Bobby Hull and Gordie Howe would become the second and third players in NHL history to score 100 points in a season and the record is now held by Wayne Gretzky, who 215 points in 1985-86. 

In 1974 – Terry Jacks is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks with Seasons in the Sun. The song went to #1 in twelve other countries including Norway and Great Britain, was Billboard’s second biggest song of the year and ranked 220th on their 60th-anniversary Hot 100 in 2018. Though Jacks had a couple of other songs hit the Hot 100, Seasons in the Sun remains his only Top 40 hit in America. Jacks had originally produced a version of the song by the Beach Boys and only recorded it himself after the group abandoned the song. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Real work began with me only in my seventieth year. Now at seventy-five the real appreciation of nature awakens within me. – Hokusai (1760-1849), Japanese painter

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Gordie Howe had 24 shorthanded goals in his career. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many times did Phil Esposito score 100 or more points in an NHL season? – Answer next time!

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