The Daily Dose/Monday, March 23, 2020

The Daily Dose/March 23, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

READY…AIM…FIRE: Because it is contrary to human nature for anyone except Nazis to stand idly by and watch others die, humanity continues to do battle with Mother Nature. It is a battle we are unlikely to win though, perhaps, we can haggle a truce when we’ve lowered the COVID-19 death rate down to a level we are comfortable with. 

Mother Nature Sure Is Being a Rhymes-With-Witch-Lately: As has been Her wont since time immemorial, Mother Nature has chosen to favor humanity with another illness. And while in terms of raw numbers it still hasn’t killed many people, the number of deaths and infections are still going up. Not exponentially yet, but consistently and significantly and this trend leveling off probably isn’t going happen anytime soon. 

Running The Numbers: The worldwide death toll will reach 15,000 soon enough and the total number of cases, both active and closed, now tops 341,000. In the United States, the totals are 1,514 cases and 457 deaths. 

This Is Casey, Counting Them Down: Europe continues to take it in the shorts: of the top 20 countries in terms of the number of cases, 13 are in Europe. 14 of the top 15 countries in terms of cases per one million people are in Europe, too. 

Running The Numbers Here are the most recent worldwide death rates: amongst closed cases: 13%; amongst all cases: 6.5%; amongst the entire planet: .00000191%

Dry, Technical Matter: This going to get worse before it gets better, of course, both in terms of infections and deaths and in terms of civil problems. We can’t stay on lockdown for any length of time with impunity. Eventually, there will be too many people and not enough money or food. Eventually, governments will run out of money to fight it and keep economies afloat. Eventually, the ammunition people have been hoarding is going to be used. 

The Bottom Line: We are reacting to this in a wholly human manner. Either we will contain it in due course or the coronavirus will eventually infect everybody it can and take whatever toll it is of a mind to take. Either way, let’s hope we survive ourselves. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow blabs about the assorted rates a hotel has on any given night. Today’s Diary. 

…and then there’s whatever rate your oaf desk clerk feels like charging you…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1775 – Patrick Henry utters his famous “give me liberty or give death” line in a speech given at the Second Virginia Convention at St John’s Church in Richmond, Virginia. Henry’s speech is credited with influencing the convention to approve sending Virginian troops for service in the Revolutionary War and Henry would later serve as the first and sixth governor of Virginia. He would later turn down an offer from President John Adams to be ambassador to France and died in 1799. – Editor’s Note: click here to read the entire speech. It’s as good a speech as an American has given. 

In 1979 – The Philadelphia 76ers defeat the New Jersey Nets 123-117, replaying the final 17 minutes and 50 seconds of a game that was protested by the Nets and originally won by the 76ers, on November 8. The protest stemmed from an official giving a Nets player and head coach Kevin Loughery three technical fouls, a violation of the rules which state a participant can be given no more than two technical fouls. Between the original game and its resumption, the 76ers sent Harvey Catchings and Ralph Sampson to the Nets for Eric Money and Al Skinner, marking the only time in American major league sports players played for both teams in the same game. 

In 1974 – Cher is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the only week with Dark Lady. It was Cher’s third of four #1 songs as a solo act and her sixth of twelve Top 10 hits. The song also went to #1 in Sweden and peaked at #36 in Great Britain. It was Cher’s last #1 song until Believe spent four weeks at #1 in 1999, a span of 24 years, 355 days, a Hot 100 record for most time between #1s that still stands. The song was written by Johnny Durrill, the keyboardist for the Ventures 

The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery?– Patrick Henry, March 23, 1775

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

There are currently four proposed amendments to the United States Constitution still pending ratification. They concern the apportionment of Congressional representatives, accepting titles of nobility from other countries and protecting slavery from federal power. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Who are the two men who succeeded Patrick Henry as governor of Virginia? – Answer next time!

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