The Daily Dose/Saturday, June 20, 2020

Daily Dose/June 20, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

HERE WE GO AGAIN: Regular readers of this crap know we are in favor of holding police officers accountable when they kill civilians. They also know we are in favor of charging them with crimes that there is the hope of actually getting a conviction on. 

We are seeing this again in Atlanta, where former Atlanta police officer Garrett Rolfe has been charged with felony murder after he shot Rayshard Brooks to death while Brooks ran away from him. 

Dry, Technical Matter: Here is Georgia’s definition of felony murder: 

A person commits the offense of murder when, in the commission of a felony, he or she causes the death of another human being irrespective of malice.

Good luck. This means prosecutors will be obliged to prove Rolfe killed Brooks while Rolfe was committing another felony because our research shows the killing itself is not a felony for the purposes of this law. The killer must have been committing another felony at the time, like rape or armed robbery. 

Oh Yeah: Rolfe faces ten other charges, ranging from aggravated assault to violation of oath by a public officer. Most concern his shooting of Brooks, though some have to do with an errant bullet hitting an occupied vehicle. 

Back On Message: Under Georgia law, voluntary manslaughter intentionally killing another while under the influence of a sudden and violent passion – would probably be a more reasonable charge. 

Fly In The Ointment: But – understandably, considering Geroge Floyd and the fact police shoot an average of 2.7 Americans to death every day in this country – people don’t want to hear manslaughter, they want to hear murder. 

The Bottom Line: Fulton County prosecutors are not doing the citizens of Atlanta any favors. It is going to be supremely difficult to bring home a felony murder conviction, especially if Rolfe takes a bench trial in order to deal with an impartial judge and not a pesky jury. Some research shows the DA, Paul Howard, is in a runoff election for his job later this summer and we’d hate to think the murder charge – which he has to know is overreaching – was merely pandering to get votes. But who are we kidding? It probably was. Howard needed to quiet Atlanta down, and this was a way to do it.  

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow goes to the store to get stuff to make a Stromboli with, buys a frozen pizza, ends up making hot doge. Today’s Diary.  

I have no idea why I went with the frozen pizza…Officially, I was tired and sold myself on the idea that the 1-hour hassle of making a Stromboli would keep me up past my usual Friday bedtime, but that was only because that was what I wanted to hear…I have always been averse to cooking anything of substance for myself.  

As it was, it turned out I was also averse to putting something in the oven, because when I returned to The Shire I couldn’t be bothered to heat up a frozen pizza…I got home, fussed with the cat, put my stuff up and stood in the kitchen with my hands on my hips and ended up putting the pizza in the freezer and making the remaining hot dogs!!!

Backstairs at the Monte CarloThe (in)famous Foot on the Desk Percentage makes its debut. Today’s Diary.

It was so slow I was able to figure out, to a reasonable degree, how much of my time in the hotel I spend sitting in a maid’s room with my feet up on a desk. 

Taking everything into consideration – 10-10’s, 482, time spent sitting while on “patrol” – I came up with a figure of 180 minutes spent sitting on my duff, which is a Foot on the Desk percentage of 37 and a half percent.

I was pretty pleased with that figure. I had figured this out in the 0600 debriefing session with D-Dawg and Butch in the 12th-floor maid’s room, and, had announced the result to them, when I realized I hadn’t included the actual debriefing session itself. You tack on those 45 minutes and you come up with 225 minutes doing absolutely nothing, which is a whopping Foot on the Desk Percentage of 47.

Click here get in on the laffs: The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
History’s long march to today

In 1944 – The first man-made object reaches space when a German V-2 rocket achieves a height of 109 miles. The rocket was designed to launch missiles Germany could use in World War II and was, in fact, used, not without success, between September 1944 and March 1945 in the United Kingdom, the Netherlands, Belgium, France and even Germany, to destroy a US-held bridge. The rocket did not reach orbital velocity and crashed to earth later that day. 

In 2016 – The Cleveland Cavaliers win their first NBA title, defeating the Golden State Warriors 93-89 in Game 7 of the NBA Finals. The Cavaliers became the first team to win the NBA title by overcoming a 3 games-to-1 deficit and it was the first time since 1978 the road team won a Game 7. Lebron James was named the series MVP, averaging 29.7 points per game. It was the first major league championship for Cleveland since the Browns win the NFL title in 1964. 

In 1964 – Buck Owens is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the fourth of seven non-consecutive weeks with My Heart Skips a Beat. It was the third of 19 #1 country songs for Owens and the third of a then-record 13 consecutive #1 songs, a record now held by Sonny James, who had 16 between 1967 and 1971. Owens replaced his own Together Again at #1, which had replaced My Heart Skips a Beat at the top on June 6, the eleventh of 13 times an artist had replaced themself at #1 on Billboard’s country chart. The song also peaked at #94 on the Billboard Hot 100. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

One has to keep taking that step over and over again. There is no easy way. There are no shortcuts. I have taken those steps and am still taking them. – Louis L’Amour, Education of a Wandering Man

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Besides Ruthless in 1867, two other fillies have won the Belmont Stakes: Tanya in 1905 and Rags to Riches in 2007. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

Who was the first act to replace themself at #1 on Billboard’s country chart? – Answer next time!

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