The Daily Dose/Sunday, April 26, 2020

The Daily Dose/April 26, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was

1. President Trump Objective observers standing by in awe that anyone over age of twelve could actually wonder if “…is there a way you can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning.”…No one should be too surprised though as president already on record as believing moon is part of Mars. 

2. President Trump Supporters Trump supporter(s) really circling wagons now after President Trump says prospect of investigating Lysol injections “… sounds interesting to me, so we’ll see.”…Friends, he was not being sarcastic, he was being ignorant, a rambling of someone of zero intellectual substance. 

3. George W. Bush 43rd President of the United States breathing huge sigh of relief as it is plain he is no longer dumbest president ever…Has staffers looking into whether he is still lyingest president ever, though, because while Trump has many more lies, Bush’s lies got us into war with Iraq. 

4. Gaylon For US Senate Candidate for Colorado Libertarian Party nomination busy preparing for upcoming debate by catching up on rest, growing beard, searching desperately for water policy…Seriously, if you believe country is flourishing, don’t click here to make a difference…If you think we can do better then yes, by all means, click here to make a difference. 

5. President Trump Fact Check Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters fielding this week’s five-hole staple, saving science, Associated Press the work as even they are “pretty sure” injecting Lysol into lungs/bloodstream could be “like, pretty dangerous and stuff” though they are still researching matter. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

As usual for Sunday, today’s entry is on the house.
The Diary of a Nobody
: Sparrow gets his morning walk in. Today’s Diary.  

I was overdressed for my walk this morning by at least 20 degrees…I knew that before I headed and it was plain as soon I got out in the sun, but I persevered with gloves and my warmish coat anyway…Of course, we all recall Friday’s walk in town where BOOM the weather changed just like that and there is always that possibility here, but not today, except for a modest breeze and brief cloud cover, I was overdressed the whole way.

Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
History’s Long March

In  1865 – John Wilkes Booth – the assassin of Abraham Lincoln – is found, cornered and himself shot, in a barn in Virginia, about 35 miles south of Washington, D.C. Booth and another conspirator, David Herold, were found in the barn and while Herold surrendered, Booth declined and the barn was set on fire by US Army troops, with Booth later shot by Sergeant Boston Corbett. Booth died at the farm, Herold was executed with three other conspirators in July while Corbett was initially arrested for disobeying orders Booth be taken alive. The charge was dropped and Corbett was discharged from the Army in August. 

In 1905 – Jack McCarthy of the Chicago Cubs ties a major league record for most assists by an outfielder to a catcher in a game in a 2-1 win over the Pittsburgh Pirates. McCarthy, playing centerfield, threw out three runners at the plate, tying the record established by Dummy Hoy (Washington Nationals, NL) in 1899 and tied by Jim Jones (New York Giants) in 1902. All three of McCarthy’s assists were parts of double plays, the only time in major league history an outfielder has had three double plays all involving plays at the plate in the same game. 

In 1975 – B.J. Thomas is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with (Hey Won’t You Play) Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song. It was the second and final #1 for Thomas on the pop chart (Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head, four weeks, 1970) and his fifth and final Top 10 hit. In May the song would also spend a week at #1 on Billboard’s country chart and it was Billboard’s 17th biggest song of the year. The song won the Grammy Award for Best Country Song to writers Larry Butler and Chips Moman and remains the longest titled song that is not a medley to hit #1 on the Hot 100. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Be a listener only, keep within yourself and endeavor to establish with yourself the habit of silence, especially in politics. – Thomas Jefferson

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Mark Price of the Cleveland Cavaliers led the NBA free throw percentage for 1992-93 at 94.8%

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What happened to the gun used to shoot John Wilkes Booth? – Answer next time!

Share Gaylon! Go!
Share
This entry was posted in 2020. Bookmark the permalink.
Share