The Daily Dose/Sunday, February 9, 2020

The Daily Dose/February 9, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was.

1. Super Bowl Halftime Show Good gravy, NFL, the screaming fans should have been replaced by dirty old men with fistfuls of greenbacks…You should be ashamed of yourselves…As always, though, it’s a sign of our times. 

2. DemocratsHey guys, the election is 270 days away…Please produce someone who can command the imagination of this country PDQ, or it’s going to be another four years of Trumpville.

3. Shakira and Jennifer LopezHubba-hubba…Please call or text soonest…970/439-8897…TIA.

4. Super Bowl LIV Hard to say if ‘Shannahaned’ will make it into the vernacular meaning someone who blows something on the planet’s biggest stage since Kyle was only a coordinator when Atlanta blew Super Bowl, but it will probably make the 49ers Super Bowl LV title even more satisfying.

5. Democratic Debate Fact Check: – Can’t anybody tell the truth anymore???…Showing the GOP doesn’t have a monopoly on lying, Democrats show they can skew the truth, too…Click here for details!

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow cleans up a mess at the hotel. Today’s Diary. 

It happened about 0130…I went in to use the can, preparatory to delivering folios, and there it was, glass all over the place and dried up beer waiting to be cleaned up…In fact, the beer had been there so long shards of glass had stuck to the dried beer…Now, it’s hardly a bulletin that yours truly doesn’t want to take work away from our porters, but even I can’t leave that, so I got to work…I even filled up a bucket with cleaner and warm water but regular readers of the crap know I have few cleaning skills and even after this Herculean labor there was still enuff for Saul to do so that he could hold his head up. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1824 – John Quincy Adams is elected president of the United States by the House or Representatives, defeating Andrew Jackson and William Crawford, the second time the House had elected the president. Adams earned the votes of 13 of the 24 states, the contingent election necessitated because no one received the required 131 electoral votes required to earn election.  The first contingent election had come in 1800 when Thomas Jefferson needed 35 ballots to defeat his vice presidential candidate Aaron Burr after the two had tied in the Electoral College. 

In 1895 – The Minnesota State School of Agriculture defeats Hamline College 9-3 in the first basketball game between two colleges. Previously, colleges had played local YMCA teams. The game was played on a makeshift court in the basement of Hamline’s Hall of Science and the goals were peach baskets that did not have backboards. Hamline now plays in the NCAA’s Division III, while research into what eventually became of the Minnesota State College of Agriculture was inconclusive. 

In 1974 – Love’s Theme by The Love Unlimited Orchestra is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week. The song also went to #1 in South Africa and Canada, peaked at #10 in Great Britain and on Billboard’s soul chart and was Billboard’s third-biggest song of the year. The song was written and produced by Barry White and was the group’s first chart single and remains their only #1 song. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

It would seem to bear out Franklin’s contention that spies, in the long run, caused as much mischief to their masters as to their victims, and should not be taken too seriously. – David Schoenbrun, Triumph in Paris: The Exploits of Benjamin Franklin

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Sweden is the only country besides Canada and the United States to play for the gold medal in Olympic women’s hockey, winning the silver medal at the 2006 Turin Games. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What NCAA Division I team has played the most basketball games? – Answer next time!

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