The Daily Dose/Sunday, January 5, 2020

The Daily Dose/January 5, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

1. US AirstrikesFabulous…America attacking sovereign nations Congress has not declared war against…This is hardly a bulletin, however, because America has been doing this since Congress last declared war in 1942.

2. Iranian General AssassinationFabulous…We can just assassinate whoever the hell we want now…Go America.  

3. President Donald Trump Fabulous…World War III will be commanded by a man whose only real talent is drawing attention to himself and who believes the moon is part of Mars. 

4. Jamal KhashoggiStill dead…Still murdered by the Saudis…Still, nobody getting too worked up about it here in America. 

5. New England PatriotsIt’s all over…As great a dynasty as American professional sports has seen dies at home to an average team they should have named the score against.

Today At The Site
The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow tires to iron a shirt. Today’s Diary. 

I screwed something up and ended up soaking the ironing board, which I didn’t realize until I’d put the shirt down, getting the shirt wet, too…I tried to iron it but it was no use and this shirt would have had a more professional appearance had I wadded it up and threw it in a corner…

It’s Sparrow, an average man passing an average life.

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
In 1914 – The Ford Motor Company announces an eight-hour workday for male employees and a daily wage of $5, about $126 in today’s money. Previously, Ford employees worked nine hours a day and were paid $2.34 an hour. The eight-hour day in the US dates back to 1842 when Boston ship carpenters earned it and it did not become a standard in all industries until 1940. 

In 2001 – Tim Thomas of the Milwaukee Bucks establishes a new NBA record for most three-point field goals in a half in a 119-115 loss to the Portland Trailblazers. Thomas had eight three-point baskets in the second half – he’d had zero in the first half – to break the record of seven that had been done several times. His record was broken in March 2013 by Deron Williams of Brooklyn (9) and the record is now ten, done twice, by Chandler Parsons of Houston (Jan. 2014) and Klay Thompson of Golden State (Oct. 2018). 

In 1974 – If We Make It Through December by Merle Haggard and the Strangers is at #1 on Billboard’s country chart – then known as the Hot Country Singles chart – for the third of four consecutive weeks. It was Haggard’s 16th of 38 #1 country hits and was Billboard’s second-biggest country song of 1974. The song also peaked at #28 on Billboard’s Hot 100 and remains Haggard’s biggest pop hit. 

Quotebook
In order to succeed, you must be a person who is able to perform hard work repeatedly over a long period of time.Lee Labrada, American bodybuilder

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
Mario Lemieux of the Pittsburgh Penguins is the only player in NHL history who has eight points in a game three times in a career. 

Today’s Stumper
Who holds the NBA record for most three-point field goals in a game? – Answer next time!

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