The Daily Dose/Sunday, March 22, 2020

The Daily Dose/March 22, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was…

1. COVID-19 Worldwide lockdown continues for illness that has currently killed .00000169% of world’s population…Though Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters now reduced to paying attention to family, others, they’re willing to go along as long as NBA regular season remains suspended. 

2. Tokyo Olympics  – Assorted sports federations now whining for Games to be postponed, with training and qualifying for Games thrown into disarray as Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters applaud anything that keeps Bob Costas off the air. 

3. Louisiana DerbyRace run Saturday without spectators, though horses stubbornly refuse to comply with Jockey Club order requiring six lengths between each horse…With no one in attendance, low off-track betting handle saw winner pay 45 cents to win, 10 cents to place and a couple of frozen burritos to show. 

4. Coronavirus Fact Check Click here this week’s virus misinformation, though Sunday Bottom 5 pollsters still using blow dryers to shoot hot air up noses just for funsies.  

5. President Trump Fact Check Click here for latest from America’s Misinformer-in-Chief…AP fact-checking staff kept so busy they now have their own Twitter feed for instant updates.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Free on Sunday! Free on Sunday!
The Diary of a Nobody
: Sparrow, finally, gets his new business card wallet delivered. Today’s Diary.  

After a nearly two-week journey that took it from Tennessee to Mississippi then west to Iowa and then the big city AND THEN a return trip east that didn’t end until Connecticut – where it was presumably stopped from being put on a rowboat to Finland – my new business card wallet was at the hotel when I reported for duty….Recall I bought this last week, or so, to hold all my Sparrow For US Senate cards that I would be passing out the Minor Party state convention next month which, of course, has been canceled…Still tho, I put a few cards in there and both it and my real wallet are small enuff so both fit in my back pocket pretty easily. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1972 – The Equal Rights Amendment is sent to the several states following approval by the United States Senate. Previously, the amendment had passed the US House in August 1970 and within a year a majority of states had ratified it, though by the March, 1979 deadline only 35 of the required 38 states had ratified it. Five states would later rescind their ratification, though it remains unclear – and academic – if these were legal moves. An Equal Rights Amendment had first been introduced in Congress in 1923.

In 1894 – The Stanley Cup is awarded for the first time after a playoff when the Montreal Hockey Club (MHC) defeats the Ottawa Hockey Club 3-1 in the championship game at the Victoria Skating Rink in Montreal. Ottawa, as the only team obliged to travel in the three-team tournament, received a bye into the final game, while the MHC defeated the Montreal Victorias 3-2 in their semifinal. The previous year the MHC had been awarded the Cup as the regular season Amateur Hockey Association of Canada champion. 

In 1952 – Kay Starr is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores chart – a predecessor of the Hot `100 – for the second of nine consecutive weeks with Wheel of Fortune. It was her 16th of 37 hits on a Billboard pop chart and would also top Billboard’s Most Played by Jockeys and Most Played in Jukeboxes charts. Starr’s other #1 hit, Rock and Roll Waltz (`1956) was the first #1 song on a Billboard chart to feature “rock and roll” in the title. Starr was born Catherine Laverne Starks and died in 2016 at 94.

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

Why is it always only a matter of choosing between something bad and something worse? – Charles Bukowski, Ham On Rye

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The NHL mark for most saves in a game this century is held by Ben Scrivens of the Edmonton Oilers, who had 59 saves in a 3-0 win over the San Jose Sharks on Jan 29, 2004. Scrivens’ mark is tied for the 6th highest total in NHL history. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many proposed amendments to the US Constitution are still eligible to be ratified? – Answer next time!

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