The Daily Dose/Sunday, March 29, 2020

The Daily Dose/March 29, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

The Sunday Bottom 5
The very best of the very worst of the week that was…

1. COVID-19 Mankind still resolutely battling new virus as death rates continue to rise, with worldwide death rate amongst all cases now 6.2%, 18% amongst closed cases and .000004 amongst entire world population.  

2. COVID-19US now undisputed world leader in COVID-19 cases with 123,780, a bit less than one-fifth of total cases…2,229 deaths pushes US death rate to .0000065% of total population…COVID-19 first international illness to occupy top two Sunday Bottom 5 spots since pesky Black Plague turned trick in 1347. 

3. USA! USA!: This will surprise you, but our government actually knew about severity of China’s outbreak in January, but decided to downplay its significance…America being brilliantly led by president who is utterly out of his element against something he can’t rail against on Twitter. 

4. Tokyo Olympics Gone for now, postponed until next year, presuming attendant headaches can be overcome…Panic sets in amongst international sports fans who will have to do without quadrennial team handball, lightweight double skulls rowing fixes. 

5. President Trump Fact Check Long a 5-hole staple, President Trump lies about everything else, he might as well like about COVID-19, too…Click here for the very latest misinformation. 

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

Free on Sunday, as usual.

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow actually pays a bill the day he gets it. Today’s Diary. 

In what must be considered the Upset of the Year, I paid the water bill today, a turnaround time virtually unprecedented in my experience…

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1974 – Man reaches the planet Mercury for the first time, as Mariner 10 comes within 437 miles. It was the first of three visits to Mercury by the spacecraft and Mariner 10 discovered, among other things, the planet had a surface similar to our moon, had a faint helium atmosphere and a modest magnetic field. It was turned off on March 24, 1975, and is believed to still be in solar orbit, though no one is entirely sure. It was the final Mariner voyage, the last two missions becoming Voyager 1 and Voyager 2. 

In 1998 – The Tennessee Volunteers women’s basketball team establishes a new NCAA record for most wins in a season, winning their 39th game 93-75 over Louisiana Tech in the national championship game in Kansas City. The Volunteers finished the season undefeated and it was their third consecutive national title. The Volunteers broke the record of 35 wins in a season established by Connecticut (UConn) in 1995 and the record for most wins is now 40, held by UConn (2014) and Baylor (2012). 

In 1986 – Rock Me Amadeus by Falco is at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for the first of three consecutive weeks. The song went to #1 in nine other countries, including Sweden and Great Britain and also peaked at #6 on Billboard’s soul chart. It was the second of three chart singles on the Hot 100 for Falco and remains his only #1 song. Falco, born Johann Holzel in Austria, died in 1998 at the age of 40 following a car crash in the Dominican Republic. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

At last I had the authority to give direction over the whole scene. I felt as if I were walking with Destiny, and that all my past life had been but preparation for this hour and this trial. – Winston Churchill

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

TheBeatles had 19 #1 albums on the Billboard 200.

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many NCAA women’s basketball titles has Tennessee won? – Answer next time!

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