The Daily Dose/Thursday, June 11, 2020

The Daily Dose/June 11, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience.

Leading Off will return.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: It turns out Sparrow got a deal on his new shades. Today’s Diary.   

I also did some research on the sunglasses I got at Tuesday’s gathering…Recall they had been left at Kevin and Melissa’s house and they looked pretty sharp, so I threw a few bucks into the kitty and claimed them…I was curious because while I’m hardly Mr Shades but on the drive home it was apparent to even a square like me that they were quality gear and my research showed a pair usually retails for over $200, so I got a pretty good deal while some loser is being blinded on the roads now. 

Backstairs at the Monte Carlo: Gaylon and Lee are sent on a mission in the hotel.

This is an official mission and the time element is key so I get right to the point. I tell him the previous guest left his beeper in the safe when he evacuated the room and we are tasked with recovering the beeper, which probably has nuclear codes or something on it. Lee nods significantly.

 “It’s a good thing we have master keys,” he said. “It’ll make it easier to open the door.”

Click here get in on the laffs: The Diary of a Nobody, Backstairs at the Monte Carlo, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
History’s long march to today

In 1776 – The Second Continental Congress of the United Colonies appoints John Adams, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Robert Livingston and Roger Sherman to produce a statement announcing the colonies’ reasons for withdrawing from the British Empire. Known to History as the Committee of Five, they assigned the first draft of what would become the Declaration of Independence to Jefferson who fretted over both its writing and editing by the Committee and the Congress. America’s national holiday may well have ended up July 3, but the Congress deferred the matter until the following day because of the late hour. 

In 1950 – Ben Hogan, 16 months removed from being seriously injured in a major car wreck, wins the US Open at Merion Golf Club near Philadelphia. Hogan won in a playoff, shooting a 69 to win by four strokes over Lloyd Mangrum and six strokes over George Fazio. It was Hogan’s second of four US Open titles and his fourth of nine major championships. Lee Mackey shot a 64 in the first round, a single-round US Open record that stood until broken in 1973 by Johnny Miller with a 63 in the final round, a record that has been tied and still stands. Hogan won $4,000, about $42,000 in today’s money. 

In 1977 – KC and the Sunshine Band is at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with I’m Your Boogie Man. The song also peaked at #3 on Billboard’s soul chart, went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #41 in Great Britain and was Billboard’s eleventh biggest song of the year. It was the fourth of five #1 songs for the group and the fourth of seven Top 10 hits. In 1996 the song was covered by the American band White Zombie, which didn’t chart but did earn them a Grammy nomination for Best Metal Performance. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

It was a great moral improvement when men ceased to kill or eat their fellowmen, and merely made them slaves. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol. I, Our Oriental Heritage

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

The three coaches who led the New Jersey Devils to the Stanley Cup title were: Jacques Lemaire (1995), Larry Robinson (2000) and Pat Burns (2003).

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What was KC and the Sunshine Band’s biggest hit in Great Britain? – Answer next time!

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