The Daily Dose/Thursday, May 7, 2020

The Daily Dose/May 7, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience. 

LET’S GET OUT OUR CRYSTAL BALLS, SHALL WE?: It’s entirely possible that after the changes to the sports landscape mandated by COVID-19 are only temporary and next year everything will proceed normally. 

However, there are a couple of scenarios that could result in long-term changes. Let’s take a look: 

Hut, Hut, Hike: It is entirely possible the college football season will not start on schedule nor go off as planned and it is not difficult to foresee a scenario where teams only play eight or nine games. And while you could probably fill out spots in the Fritos Bean Dip Crack Whore Bowl easily enough, less than ten games will make picking four teams for the College Football Playoff a nightmare. Actually, anything less than the 13 games conference champions are obliged to play would make picking four teams difficult. 

Stop Us If You’ve Heard This Before: This would be a great time for the NCAA to step in and sponsor a Division I football playoff. A 16-team tournament could be played in a month and you could add a week to it and double that to 32 teams. It would become an American classic faster than you can say “pandemic” and could become so popular football fans are no longer willing to tolerate a mere four-team invitational and bowl games played in frozen baseball stadiums between two .500 teams. 

PLAY BALL: Major league baseball could, perhaps, maybe, see some long-term changes, too. It is likely it will find itself with some scheduling challenges this year, too. Or, rather, challenges finding places to play, and while it’s not likely numerous teams will gather in one place, it is not out of the question that current league/divisional lineups will be changed and a mainly regional schedule will be played and it may turn out that fans like this. 

This might be a great time for baseball to expand to 32 teams. Now, baseball doesn’t need 32 teams to change to a regional schedule, but 32 teams are easy to divvy up, in either four eight-team divisions or four eight-team divisions. For example, the teams on the west coast, plus the Colorado Rockies, could be put in one division and spend most of the season playing each other. Professional schedule makers can worry about these details. Regional scheduling would also eliminate a lot of travel, improving both the quality of play and profitability and the season could conclude with an eight-team playoff that wouldn’t take any longer than the current format.

Today At The Site
Writing worth reading. Usually. 

The Diary of a Nobody: Sparrow has the latest grooming news. Today’s Diary.   

The big news is I have an actual appointment for a haircut…Recall there’s a hairstylist in our small town whose studio I usually pass on my walk and she had a sign in the window that gave her number for those who’d like to make an appointment…I did some research, tho, to see if she was any good and found her Faceplant page, where the results seemed to show some competence…All right…I also noticed a Make Appointment button, so, silly me, I pressed that and made an appointment for Thursday…Well, this evening she messaged me “Need to call or text for appointment”…Snitty broad…No, I don’t need to do anything, so I ignored the message and searched for barbers in the next county…Bingo…Found one and I could book online, too, and in a couple of clicks, I was in at 1200 on Saturday.

Click here get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
History’s long march to today

In 1992 – The 27th Amendment to the United States Constitution takes effect when it is ratified by Michigan. The amendment dictated that Congress cannot give itself a pay raise in the middle of a term and had been sent to the several states in September 1789 along with eleven other proposed amendments, ten of which eventually became the Bill of Rights. Interest in the amendment, however, lagged after seven states had ratified it by 1792. It was ratified by Ohio in 1873, the last state to ratify it until 1978. The 202 years from proposal to ratification is a record. 

In 1959 – The New York Yankees defeat the Los Angeles Dodgers 6-2 in an exhibition game at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in front of 93,103 fans, then the largest crowd ever to watch a baseball game. The game was held to honor former Dodgers’ catcher Roy Campanella, who had been paralyzed in a 1958 auto accident. The schedule was not kind to either team. The Dodgers had won their game in San Francisco earlier in the day and would return for their game the following night. The Yankees had played in Kansas City the day before and would head home after the game. The record for most fans at a baseball game was broken in 2008 when 115,301 fans attended a Dodgers/Boston Red Sox exhibition, also at the Coliseum. 

In 1977 – The Eagles are at #1 on Billboard’s Hot 100 for the only week with Hotel California. The song also went to #1 in Canada, peaked at #8 in Great Britain and won the Grammy Award for Record of the Year. It was the fourth of five #1 songs for the group and their seventh of ten top 10 hits. The album of the same name was also at #1 on Billboard’s album chart for the seventh of eight non-consecutive weeks. 

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

…those who make [pleasure] their end in life are like the dog that snaps at every piece of meat thrown to it, swallows it whole, and then, instead of enjoying it, stands with jaws agape anxiously awaiting more. – Will Durant, The Story of Civilization, Vol III: Caesar to Christ. 

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

Sir Barton, in 1919, was the first horse to win the Triple Crown. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

How many #1 albums have the Eagles had? – Answer next time!

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