The Daily Dose/Tuesday, January 21, 2020

The Daily Dose/January 21, 2020
By Gaylon Kent
America’s Funniest Guy

Leading Off
Notes from around the human experience…

HERE WE GO: Both Republicans and Democrats have filed briefs with the United States Senate for President Trump’s impeachment trial and the ones filed by the president’s lawyers are particularly entertaining. Unable to attack the articles with anything resembling substance, they are left with only bluster. This is hardly a bulletin, of course, because bluster is all the Trump Administration has offered us since he took office. 

Dry, Technical Matter: The House sent two articles of impeachment to the Senate accusing Trump of abusing power by withholding military aid from the Ukraine while the president sought an investigation into former Vice President Joe Biden and of obstructing Congress by instructing White House officials not comply with Congressional subpoenas. 

Back On Message: The heavy hitters in Trump’s legal team were reduced to calling the articles “flimsy” and a “constitutional travesty”. They are neither of these things, they are merely another GOP attempt to muddy the waters. Now, they may not be the cut-and-dry slam dunk a Richard Nixon US Senate trial would have been had he not resigned, but both articles do have merit. Merely blabbing that they don’t – which seems to be the only White House strategy – does not make it so. 

LOL: His lawyers also said that even if he did do these things they were not impeachable because they did violate a specific criminal code. 

Fly In The Ointment: Friends, they don’t have to. President Trump is the 20th federal official to be impeached by the House and the House has not always impeached for a specific criminal offense. It impeached President Johnson for violating the Tenure of Office Act, hardly an arrestable offense, and it has impeached federal judges for being drunk on the bench and not living in their assigned judicial district. It can impeach for anything it wants up to and including color of socks, happily leaving it to the Senate to sort everything out.

Get Your Official Daily Dose Policy Right Here: Not that it matters. Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell is so hell-bent on acquittal he is all but moved into the Lincoln Bedroom and barring a palace coup that would have Julius Caesar issuing applause, President Trump will be acquitted. This really doesn’t bother us for the first article, but Trump deserves to lose his job for the second article. 

Today At The Site
Editor’s Note: it’s Read Free Fortnight at The Diary of a Nobody. So go, scoot, click on the link and enjoy the Diary with Sparrow’s compliments.

The Diary of a Nobody:  Sparrow has the latest from the hotel’s coffee room. Today’s Diary.

The big news from the back coffee room is the new box of coffee packets are the large 9-ounce ones and not our usual 3-ounce packets…Fortunately, we still had some 3-oz packages left when I opened the box of 9-ouncers, so it was a simple matter to pour a regular package in a paper coffee cup and make a mark at the fill line. 

Click here to get in on the laffs: Sparrow, The Bottom Ten, the funniest books you’ve ever read. We offer 4Ever and Ever access, or cheapskates can purchase books and columns individually. 

On This Date
Great moments in us. 

In 1793 – King Louis XVI of France is beheaded. Louis had been arrested the previous August and in September the National Assembly had declared France a republic, meaning Louis was out of a job and he was tried and convicted of treason as a private citizen. Louis had ascended the throne in 1774 at the age of 19. His queen, Marie Antoinette, would be executed in August. 

In 1979 – The Pittsburgh Steelers become the first team to win three Super Bowls, defeating the Dallas Cowboys 35-31 in Super Bowl XIII. Previously, the Steelers had won Super Bowls IX and X. With the loss, the Cowboys became the first defending champion to lose the Super Bowl and were the first team to score more than 30 points in a Super Bowl loss. To date, the Steelers are tied with the New England Patriots for most Super Bowl wins with six and Super Bowl XIII was the fifth and final Super Bowl played at Miami’s Orange Bowl. 

In 1956 – Dean Martin is at #1 on Billboard’s Best Sellers in Stores Charts – one of several Billboard charts of the pre-Hot 100 era – for the second of five consecutive weeks with Memories Are Made of This. The song was also at #1 on Billboard’s Most Played by Jockeys and Top 100 charts and would later top the Most Played in Jukeboxes chart. It was the first of two #1 songs for Martin on a Billboard pop chart and the song also went to #1 in Great Britain and Australia. Gale Storm (1955-56) and the Drifters (1966) also charted with the song.  

Quotebook
The wisdom of the ages. Whatever. 

I can’t bite my tongue because my soul will bleed. – Cyril Neville

Answer To The Last Trivia Question
It’s not who you know, but what you know. 

George VI succeeded Edward VIII as King of Great Britain. 

Today’s Stumper
Cheaper than Trivia Night at the bar. 

What was Dean Martin’s second #1 song on a Billboard pop chart? – Answer next time!

 

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